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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

@coldchef.bsky.social

1K followers 510 following 1.6K posts

Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · Nov 15

The Airbnb we’re staying at has questionable books on the shelves, but some of them are even autographed.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 18h

Please warn your undertaker first. They may have suggestions or offer assistance.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 18h

Fried ice cream.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 19h

I am always here to assist with logistics. It's the only thing I'm good at.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 20h

Frog log.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 23h

For this we needs water? Let the meshuggah burn.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 1d

You are welcome.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 1d

Tony, Tony!
Listen, listen!
Hurry, hurry!
Somethin’s missin’.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 1d

I locked myself in the Day's Inn across the street from Graceland in Memphis, TN (there's a guitar shaped pool!) and wrote a screenplay in three days, fueled only by gin and KFC hot wings and won the LSU Screenwriting award.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 2d

Get you a friend like @jenleepa.bsky.social who will find an antique dagger at a New Orleans estate sale for you to use as a letter opener/murder weapon.

Shady looking undertaker wielding an antique dagger that may or may not have bloodstains on the blade.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 2d

I love when Alamo shows something and you're like, "Well that's random," and then halfway through the movie it clicks and the audience barks laughing.

Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

Middle Age Riot @middleageriot.bsky.social · 2d

If "never leave your drink unattended" were a person.

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Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 3d

NN: Dems say you won't swear in Grijalva bc you don't want her vote on Epstein

JOHNSON: No. It's scheduling

NN: But there have been Rs sworn in during pro forma sessions

MJ: Only reason was bc they flew in their family

NN: So if she flies in her family you'd do it?

MJ: Again, it's a distraction

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 2d

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from a guy who knows a kid who's going with the girl who saw him create antifa at 31 Flavors last night. I think it's serious.

Reposted by ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo

Beast of Booorbon 👻 @jenleepa.bsky.social · 2d

This new comic from @theoatmeal.bsky.social about AI “art” is exactly what I needed to read today. I hope you’ll read it, too.

theoatmeal.com/comics/ai_art

A cartoonist's review of AI art - The Oatmeal

This is a comic about AI art.

theoatmeal.com

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 4d

I once got in an argument with a girlfriend about her spending. In the middle of the argument, UPS arrived with my pasta maker, the one and only thing I ever bought from QVC. I turned around, box in hand, and she told me, "Pasta is 80 cents a pack." I handed the box back to the delivery person.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 4d

Is Skyrizi that toilet thing kids keep talking about?

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 4d

You have the best body art.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 6d

I love these!

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

This is nothing short of brilliant.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 7d

I am horrified and turned on.

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 8d

It's no one's vault but my own!

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 8d

To my eye, that looks like a vault, not a casket. And unless it's being moved to another cemetery, it would be empty.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 8d

I use "[email protected]"

ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 8d

An embalmer explains what he wants done with his body when he dies.

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ColdChef, an Undertaker. Booooo @coldchef.bsky.social · 8d

I know a few people who would love this bag.

Curlworks @curlworks.net · 8d

The coveted Koi Fish Bag sample is finished and on the way to us for final approval! His spots are custom screen-printed on a large piece of canvas from which the fish pieces are cut, so each fish will be unique :) Like him? You can preorder him RIGHT NOW! curlworks.net

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