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coldchef.bsky.social
ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. SubGenius. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down. Koupe tet boule kay!
Pinned
The Airbnb we’re staying at has questionable books on the shelves, but some of them are even autographed.
Bad storms last night. At 5am, a friend‘s daughter was awakened by a crash. A tree fell and came through her wall. I got there as quickly as the could. Most of the damage is in one room.
January 10, 2026 at 3:00 PM
King Cake secured.
January 7, 2026 at 1:12 AM
Reposted by ColdChef
Guys, we did it. We invented the Commodore 64
Also neat at CES: HP’s battery-powered PC built into a keyboard. Sort of a screenless laptop.
January 6, 2026 at 6:06 PM
You can have King Cake today.
January 6, 2026 at 2:15 PM
Two movie day!
“Marty Supreme” & “Song Sung Blue.”
January 6, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Happy funeral today. Joyous celebration. Loving family. Lots of friends in attendance. I’ve made the same joke several times: “If I see you at any more funerals this week, I’m going to put you on my payroll.” I needed a happy funeral like this after the past three weeks of trauma and heartbreak.
January 3, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Reposted by ColdChef
This all seems pretty unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner
January 3, 2026 at 2:42 PM
For 2026, I’m doing something different with my reading habits. I’m going to continue with my journey with short story collections, but I’m also going to incorporate a lot more non-fiction into my reading. Just to mix it up. First up: “Enshittification” by Cory Doctrow and Cynthia Erivo’s memoir.
January 2, 2026 at 5:10 PM
In the interest of science:

The steak dinner at the Waffle House is the worrying sum of $13.50 (tax included). Happy New Year.
January 1, 2026 at 3:08 PM
For one of my Christmas gifts, Maggie, my middle child, baked me the coconut cake that Tom Cruise sends to all his friends every year. cakebycourtney.com/white-chocol...
January 1, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Happy New Years, friends! Send me a flippie as you celebrate!
January 1, 2026 at 12:56 AM
Some of you might remember the Post-Hurricane Katrina thread on MetaFilter about my friend’s mom who was trapped in New Orleans flooding and the adventure I had in rescuing her. metatalk.metafilter.com/10075/I-NEED...
Sadly, she was found dead on Christmas morning. She was a complicated woman.
I NEED HELP.
I NEED HELP. Okay, I know this isn't the point of MetaFilter, but I'm desperate and I don't have time to find out this information on my own. I have a friends mother who is trapped in New Orleans...
metatalk.metafilter.com
December 31, 2025 at 5:46 PM
I have found my way to “They Might Be Giants” TikTok and this is all I’ve ever wanted in the internet. I’ll die happy now.
December 31, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I buried Elly May Clampett. It was a beautiful funeral and she wore pink (of course.)
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie

Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
December 29, 2025 at 9:06 PM
I am on my eighth deathcall since Christmas. I’m at my wit’s end. So many families to keep straight. Every case complicated in its own way.
December 29, 2025 at 2:07 AM
If you’re looking for a series to watch in the current deadtime, you could do worse than Mel Brook’s “History of the World Part II” on Hulu. Is it groundbreaking? No. Are there a lot of celebrities doing silly shtick? Yes. Eight episodes, can you believe it?
December 29, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Sunday morning crematory swamp turtles.
December 28, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Reposted by ColdChef
With Bardot's passing, the only named individuals in Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire that are still alive are Bob Dylan, Chubby Checker, and Bernie Goetz. The last one standing will claim The Prize.
December 28, 2025 at 10:22 AM
At the Waffle House on a Sunday morning, listening to an old white couple complain to the manager about lousy service they got a week ago when they came in for a steak dinner.
December 28, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Crematory swamp turtles.
December 27, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Christmas update. The kids waited until I got home to come down. Which is extremely patient and kind of them. I think the girls must have sedated Milo. But I got to watch them open gifts and then it was back to the hospital. I’m back home now in time to change and go to my brother’s for gumbo.
December 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
6:45am. Deathcall. Dammit. Maybe the kids will stay asleep until I get back. Not likely.
December 25, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Deathcall. Residence.
December 25, 2025 at 3:24 AM
Happy Holidays from my little family to yours.
December 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Making funeral arrangements for a teen two days before Christmas. Trying and failing to find my holiday spirit.
December 23, 2025 at 10:50 PM