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coldchef.bsky.social
ColdChef
@coldchef.bsky.social
1.1K followers 530 following 1.9K posts
Undertaker, Overexplainer. Anonymortician. Memento moron. SubGenius. Failure is always an option. I have friends everywhere. I will likely let you down. Koupe tet boule kay!
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coldchef.bsky.social
CURDS!
January 17, 2026 at 4:04 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Crematory swamp turtles
Two turtles, sitting on a pipe in a swamp.
January 16, 2026 at 7:27 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
This painting is beautiful, but a little A24.
Painting of a crowned lamb with rays of divinity and a goblet of blood. Looking around for Florence Pugh.
January 13, 2026 at 2:03 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Today’s workplace.
Red brick church with a number of statues. Clear blue sky. View of the front of the church. Large doors with crosses. A statue of St. Michael, slaying the dragon.
January 13, 2026 at 2:02 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Tarping up the roof is a Louisiana sporting event.
Roof, free of tree, but sporting some new ventilation holes. The good part of the roof. No holes.
January 10, 2026 at 8:59 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Bad storms last night. At 5am, a friend‘s daughter was awakened by a crash. A tree fell and came through her wall. I got there as quickly as the could. Most of the damage is in one room.
A tree, resting against the wall of a home, a hole is punctured through. Tree detritus on the roof of a home. This could have been so much worse. A large tree against a home. It was rotted at the roots.
January 10, 2026 at 3:00 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
King Cake secured.
An oval pastry, covered in creme frosting and purple, gold, and green sprinkles.
January 7, 2026 at 1:12 AM
coldchef.bsky.social
Came out of my movie and ran into Maggie and some friends, so I took them all for ice cream and French fries.
Ma’at, Maggie, and Katie.
January 6, 2026 at 4:11 AM
coldchef.bsky.social
I believe our fall from grace involved this painting.
Woman showing butthole on main.
January 2, 2026 at 9:53 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
For 2026, I’m doing something different with my reading habits. I’m going to continue with my journey with short story collections, but I’m also going to incorporate a lot more non-fiction into my reading. Just to mix it up. First up: “Enshittification” by Cory Doctrow and Cynthia Erivo’s memoir.
Enshittification: Why Everything Suddenly Got Worse and What to Do About It. Simply More by Cynthia Erivo
January 2, 2026 at 5:10 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
In the interest of science:

The steak dinner at the Waffle House is the worrying sum of $13.50 (tax included). Happy New Year.
Delmonico Steak dinner. $13.50 Steak, medium. Hashbrowns smothered, diced, and covered.
January 1, 2026 at 3:08 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
For one of my Christmas gifts, Maggie, my middle child, baked me the coconut cake that Tom Cruise sends to all his friends every year. cakebycourtney.com/white-chocol...
Maggie with my coconut Tom Cruise cake.
January 1, 2026 at 1:21 AM
coldchef.bsky.social
Happy New Years, friends! Send me a flippie as you celebrate!
Moon, showing me their love.
January 1, 2026 at 12:56 AM
coldchef.bsky.social
Post a selfie from 2025
Me in antelope canyon x in the summer of 2025. I’m wearing a jaunty bandanna and I’m fairly handsome for an old dad.
December 31, 2025 at 5:55 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Sunday morning crematory swamp turtles.
Swamp turtles, sitting on top of a drain pipe.
December 28, 2025 at 4:37 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Crematory swamp turtles.
Six turtles sitting atop a swamp pipe. Two additional turtles jumped in.
December 27, 2025 at 6:35 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Happy Holidays from my little family to yours.
Our 2025 holiday card. Our little family inside a sandstone cave. 2025 was a "grand" year for our family. (Get it? It's a "pun." Because we went to the Grand Canyon. Don't make me explain this further.) We had lots of adventures and we don't mean to brag, but we took a whole vacation just so we could have a good photo for our holiday card. Otherwise, it would have just been a photo of people watching "Bob's Burgers," playing video games, or complaining about the government. And that doesn't make for good holiday cards.
December 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Going into “Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair.” See you all in about four and a half hours. Someone txt me if he dies.
Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair NR 4 hr 35 min A former assassin wakes up from a coma after her former boss and lover, Bill, shoots her in the head and steals her unborn child during her wedding rehearsal. She soon embarks on a bloody quest for revenge, hunting down members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad before confronting Bill himself.
December 17, 2025 at 12:02 AM
coldchef.bsky.social
My bad children are all home for the holidays.
Georgia, Milo, and Maggie. Georgia and me.
December 13, 2025 at 11:21 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
The tragedy of dying the day before your 103rd birthday.
Headstone reading “January 30, 1919—January 29, 2022
December 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
*high-fives Louisiana*
Top Pornhub searches by state. Louisiana is “thicc.” Also: Ohio is “queef” and not to yuck someone’s yum, but yuck.
December 10, 2025 at 9:19 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Is it worth a hundred and fifty bucks to send myself into a panic attack?
Electric Youth perfume on eBay for $150. I can smell this in my brain.
December 10, 2025 at 4:38 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Santa juice
December 9, 2025 at 12:26 AM
coldchef.bsky.social
Looking for a stocking stuffer? Make your own LEGO Minifig. www.lego.com/en-us/minifi...
Minifig undertaker. Complete with skull boutonnière and shovel.
December 8, 2025 at 5:29 PM
coldchef.bsky.social
Surprisingly chaste.
Word cloud, with funeral, deathcall, and family largest.
December 3, 2025 at 4:38 PM