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Halloweean Miles Schlong

@tedcruznipples.com

14K followers 4.2K following 31K posts

Area man, unfortunately Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater in Los Angeles he/him

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · Jan 24

Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 5h

Pretty sure this one includes a Nazi dog whistle thus rendering it not that wholesome but go off

WholesomeMemes @wholesomememe.bsky.social · 5h

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 5h

Probably a solid bet

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 6h

Which one? I’ve written hundreds

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 6h

Sucks for Nate. I’ve 10X’d my productivity and make millions in passive income while I sleep. Must be a skill issue.

Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 8h

AI has lost the dunce vote. It’s over

Nate Silver
@NateSilver538 • 5h
•.°
I'm just one person, and my programming needs are somewhat unusual (building various kinds of statistical forecasting models). But I'm just not seeing the consistent productivity gains from LLMs that I would have expected if you'd asked me 6 months ago.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 6h

I miss Bazardo and Torkelson

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 6h

It rocked for sure

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 7h

Do you remember when you spent the closing hours of the democratic majority introducing bipartisan legislation recognizing the Bald Eagle as our national bird

Amy Klobuchar @amyklobuchar.com · 7h

The scoop: Trump refuses to do anything to reduce health insurance premiums; House Republicans refuse to come back to Washington due to Epstein files; and now they send layoff notices to CDC researchers dealing with burgeoning measles cases?

MAHA=Measles Are Here Again

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 11h

Can we hurry up and fix all the problems in society so I can move on with my life

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 12h

She’s not wrong

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 12h

Meanwhile Woody Allen is like 400 years old and still out there talking about what a great guy Jeffrey Epstein was

Mark Harris @markharris.bsky.social · 13h

Terribly sad news about one of the greats. Diane Keaton has died at 79.
people.com/diane-keaton...

Diane Keaton, Famed for Roles in 'Father of the Bride,' 'First Wives Club' and More, Dies at 79 (Exclusive)

Diane Keaton has died at age 79. Keaton was best known for roles in movies like 'Annie Hall,' 'The First Wives Club,' 'Something's Gotta Give' and 'The Godfather.'

people.com

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

🤝

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Will they do a 14th inning stretch

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Torkelson Bazardo for president

Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

The Second Mrs. de ShinyGoth👻 @ghostingdani.bsky.social · 1d

Torkelson Bazardo, irreverent handyman to the stars.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Yes I’m hearing this too

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

I also wish my name was Torkelson

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

I wish my name was Bazardo

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Imagine admitting to the world that a wall of moms almost killed you with a milkshake. I’d find it embarrassing.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Poor Donald too. Just a grotesque situation all around 😖

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Yeah. Not good.

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

My sources on the ground are telling me that something really bad happened to President Trump’s penis during the operation, but they haven’t yet been able to determine exactly what. Pray for the future of this nation. I’ll keep you updated as the situation with the penis unfolds. Thank you

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

It would be terrible for the country if his penis got horribly disfigured and mangled like Elon’s did. Saying a prayer for a successful augmentation procedure 🙏🍆📈

bleary @bleary.off-the-records.com · 1d

We might not agree with his politics but Donald Trump is a human being like the rest of us. I will be praying for his good health and weird mushroom dick.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Seven years in prison

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Johnson: “Take me, for example: I spend a whole lot of time watching porn with my son, when really I should be here on the Hill passing legislation for the American people. Sadly, I’m a pedophile and a sexual deviant, and that’s just not the way I do things. It’d be great if I could do a better job”

Anita zx @omi684.bsky.social · 1d

BREAKING: In a shocking moment, Speaker Johnson — whose own party controls the House, the Senate, and the White House — says people don't trust government "because they don’t see that it’s being done well."

Remember his confession in 2026.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Would be very funny if even one Republican was like “I’ll be honest, President Trump is kind of a douche. It’s no surprise he didn’t win the Nobel.”

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

All I do all day is fantasize about civil war and even I’m not dumb enough to think that’s a preferable alternative to inflatable frogs

Prime157 @prime157.bsky.social · 1d

It's well known that relentlessly mocking, using satire, and the like is a great way to resist a rising authoritarian.

I agree, that is a stupid prick thing to say, and I would wager it's a guy who has literally done nothing but bitch online. No protests. No calls. No activism.