Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
Area man, unfortunately
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Pinned
Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
· Jan 24
Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen
There are a lot of places to get ham. Not sure how this is an issue.
November 25, 2025 at 7:54 PM
There are a lot of places to get ham. Not sure how this is an issue.
There’s no way Trump even saw Rush Hour 3. This bloviating fuck just wanted to be able to issue a decree and actually have something happen.
November 25, 2025 at 7:40 PM
There’s no way Trump even saw Rush Hour 3. This bloviating fuck just wanted to be able to issue a decree and actually have something happen.
It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
November 25, 2025 at 6:15 PM
It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen
The funny part is, by the time this gets released, Trump will be an 82 year old sack of quivering demented crap, if he’s even alive at all, and he’ll quite possibly be in prison or exile
November 25, 2025 at 6:02 PM
The funny part is, by the time this gets released, Trump will be an 82 year old sack of quivering demented crap, if he’s even alive at all, and he’ll quite possibly be in prison or exile
I would try the beef turkey
November 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I would try the beef turkey
The ticket scanner on the flyaway bus just told me I was valid 🥹 feeling a sense of spiritual renewal
November 25, 2025 at 5:51 PM
The ticket scanner on the flyaway bus just told me I was valid 🥹 feeling a sense of spiritual renewal
Don’t forget the surgery it will perform for free
November 25, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Don’t forget the surgery it will perform for free
The plan? Charge our paid subscribers actual money to read us complaining about paper towels — that way they’ll be more appreciative when our editorial board makes actual substantive arguments, regardless of how bad or socially corrosive they are.
November 25, 2025 at 3:54 PM
The plan? Charge our paid subscribers actual money to read us complaining about paper towels — that way they’ll be more appreciative when our editorial board makes actual substantive arguments, regardless of how bad or socially corrosive they are.
No it was a Trump screencap insulting people
November 25, 2025 at 3:00 AM
No it was a Trump screencap insulting people
This is why I purposefully shit my pants on the first and second dates, so it’s expected by the third
November 24, 2025 at 11:56 PM
This is why I purposefully shit my pants on the first and second dates, so it’s expected by the third
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Any time corporate executives are in a room together and don't know they're being recorded, the transcript is like: "Christ, I hate our customers. We're agreed that we all hate our customers? Let's lie to the IRS, criminally. Did I mention the Holocaust never happened? Put more lead in our soda."
Campbell's soup VP caught on tape trashing his own brand. Oof. www.clickondetroit.com/news/local/2...
November 24, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Any time corporate executives are in a room together and don't know they're being recorded, the transcript is like: "Christ, I hate our customers. We're agreed that we all hate our customers? Let's lie to the IRS, criminally. Did I mention the Holocaust never happened? Put more lead in our soda."
“I can’t wait until you are no longer the secretary of defense” is lowkey hilarious
Gallego to Hegseth: "You will never ever be half the man that Sen. Kelly is. You, sir, are a coward. And the fact that you are following this order from the president shows how big of a coward you are. I can't wait until you are no longer the secretary of defense."
November 24, 2025 at 9:53 PM
“I can’t wait until you are no longer the secretary of defense” is lowkey hilarious
I’ll be in my Sunday best
November 24, 2025 at 9:51 PM
I’ll be in my Sunday best
I am making a voodoo doll of Sean Duffy to shove up my ass
Sean Duffy: "Dressing with respect -- whether it's a pair of jeans and a decent shirt, I would encourage people to maybe dress a little better which encourages us to maybe behave a little better. Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport."
November 24, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I am making a voodoo doll of Sean Duffy to shove up my ass
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Anyway, here's Wonderwall
November 24, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Anyway, here's Wonderwall
As I grab the glock
Put it to your headpiece
One in the chamber
The safety is off release
Straight at your dome homes
I wanna see cabbage
Biggie smalls the savage
Doin your brain cells much damage
Put it to your headpiece
One in the chamber
The safety is off release
Straight at your dome homes
I wanna see cabbage
Biggie smalls the savage
Doin your brain cells much damage
November 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
As I grab the glock
Put it to your headpiece
One in the chamber
The safety is off release
Straight at your dome homes
I wanna see cabbage
Biggie smalls the savage
Doin your brain cells much damage
Put it to your headpiece
One in the chamber
The safety is off release
Straight at your dome homes
I wanna see cabbage
Biggie smalls the savage
Doin your brain cells much damage
At some point somebody’s gonna have to challenge this guy to a duel
November 24, 2025 at 6:18 PM
At some point somebody’s gonna have to challenge this guy to a duel
It’s all happening bsky.app/profile/brit...
November 24, 2025 at 6:08 PM
It’s all happening bsky.app/profile/brit...
President Trump after realizing he’s losing all his court cases, his party is in open revolt, everybody hates him, he smells like shit, and Laura Loomer is reportedly having a baby with Ian Miles Cheong
November 24, 2025 at 6:05 PM
President Trump after realizing he’s losing all his court cases, his party is in open revolt, everybody hates him, he smells like shit, and Laura Loomer is reportedly having a baby with Ian Miles Cheong
I also don’t think gas is at a 5 year low that I put in my car
November 24, 2025 at 5:23 PM
I also don’t think gas is at a 5 year low that I put in my car
I love it when gas is at a 5 year low that I put in my car
BARTIROMO: Do you want to see the president cut tariffs on certain things, like coffee from Brazil?
TOM EMMER: Groceries are down. Gas is at a 5 year low that you put in your car. Look, they destroyed this economy under Joe Biden.
TOM EMMER: Groceries are down. Gas is at a 5 year low that you put in your car. Look, they destroyed this economy under Joe Biden.
November 24, 2025 at 5:16 PM
I love it when gas is at a 5 year low that I put in my car