Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
Area man, unfortunately
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater
in Los Angeles
he/him
Pinned
Ian Miles Schlong
@tedcruznipples.com
· Jan 24
Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
24 hour televised award ceremony
January 16, 2026 at 7:11 AM
24 hour televised award ceremony
The more time Donald Trump spends stealing trophies and awards from people, the less time he can spend raping children and waging war on sovereign nations. We should applaud and encourage this behavior.
January 16, 2026 at 7:06 AM
The more time Donald Trump spends stealing trophies and awards from people, the less time he can spend raping children and waging war on sovereign nations. We should applaud and encourage this behavior.
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
NO MOM IT'S FOR TWITTER!!!
January 16, 2026 at 1:35 AM
NO MOM IT'S FOR TWITTER!!!
“Are these American people in the room with us now” and no, they’re literally some people he made up
Schumer as a major American metro is being brutally occupied by Trump goons: "The affordability crisis will be our focus throughout 2026 because that's what the American people are demanding"
January 16, 2026 at 12:22 AM
“Are these American people in the room with us now” and no, they’re literally some people he made up
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Looks like the music video for Black Hole Sun
January 15, 2026 at 10:17 PM
Looks like the music video for Black Hole Sun
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Pretty striking how much braver ordinary people are than any of our elected leaders, isn’t it.
January 15, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Pretty striking how much braver ordinary people are than any of our elected leaders, isn’t it.
Tfw you give up your Nobel peace prize to an evil demented pedophile who smells horrible, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear
January 15, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Tfw you give up your Nobel peace prize to an evil demented pedophile who smells horrible, for reasons that aren’t entirely clear
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
True, but Trump yelling and whining and stomping his feet until he finally gets a hand-me-down prize from a woman who actually did something to earn it is also extremely on brand
January 15, 2026 at 9:53 PM
True, but Trump yelling and whining and stomping his feet until he finally gets a hand-me-down prize from a woman who actually did something to earn it is also extremely on brand
This is the stupidest thing to happen since The Donald J. Trump and the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts
María Corina Machado on her meeting with Trump: “I presented the president of the United States with the Nobel Peace Prize”
January 15, 2026 at 9:49 PM
This is the stupidest thing to happen since The Donald J. Trump and the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts
Why did he feel the need to provide a visual for coked up Japanese quail getting their backs blown out?
The total NSF budget was 9 billion. I doubt they spend 89% of it on quail.
January 15, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Why did he feel the need to provide a visual for coked up Japanese quail getting their backs blown out?
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
ALERT: My office has received reports of heavy ICE presence near 12th & Maple in DTLA in the Fashion District. Agents are actively walking the area.
If you have info report to:
LA Rapid Response Network: (888) 624-4752
If you have info report to:
LA Rapid Response Network: (888) 624-4752
January 15, 2026 at 8:41 PM
ALERT: My office has received reports of heavy ICE presence near 12th & Maple in DTLA in the Fashion District. Agents are actively walking the area.
If you have info report to:
LA Rapid Response Network: (888) 624-4752
If you have info report to:
LA Rapid Response Network: (888) 624-4752
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
huge congratulations to @froggyblink.bsky.social for absolutely nailing the assignment on the first-ever skeet to feature a functioning $TSLA cashtag
January 15, 2026 at 8:08 PM
huge congratulations to @froggyblink.bsky.social for absolutely nailing the assignment on the first-ever skeet to feature a functioning $TSLA cashtag
I’m not swayed by many right wing arguments but I increasingly see the appeal in skipping the due process part of the law and going straight for the punishment
January 15, 2026 at 8:06 PM
I’m not swayed by many right wing arguments but I increasingly see the appeal in skipping the due process part of the law and going straight for the punishment
Just realized that I’m *also* bad enough at competitive swimming to become a successful right wing grifter. This changes everything
Leavitt: "In our new media seat today, we have a familiar face -- Riley Gaines ..."
January 15, 2026 at 7:25 PM
Just realized that I’m *also* bad enough at competitive swimming to become a successful right wing grifter. This changes everything
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
I’m making a direct appeal to the president — please die already you haggard fuckhead
January 15, 2026 at 6:26 PM
I’m making a direct appeal to the president — please die already you haggard fuckhead
If I were an evil sadistic bully with terrible body odor like Trump and my victim made a “direct appeal” to me to “turn the temperature down,” I would laugh and be even more brutal with my torture
January 15, 2026 at 6:16 PM
If I were an evil sadistic bully with terrible body odor like Trump and my victim made a “direct appeal” to me to “turn the temperature down,” I would laugh and be even more brutal with my torture
I think the question to ask is “what do we do to ensure the elections happen despite whatever fuckery Trump may try to pull?”
the question to ask about this is, okay, he wants to cancel the midterms. how does he get the VA state board of elections to cancel the midterms? how does he get the georgia board of elections to do it? how does he convince republican house members to quit their jobs and give up their paychecks?
Trump says a lot of deranged shit, but, per this Reuters article — and the threats of invoking the Insurrection Act in Minnesota this morning — he is very clearly exploring how to cancel the midterms.
www.reuters.com/world/us/fiv...
www.reuters.com/world/us/fiv...
January 15, 2026 at 6:02 PM
I think the question to ask is “what do we do to ensure the elections happen despite whatever fuckery Trump may try to pull?”
I started watching better call saul for the first time and it’s not bad enough to bail on the series but it’s also not good enough to continue watching. I don’t even know what the hell to do
January 15, 2026 at 7:27 AM
I started watching better call saul for the first time and it’s not bad enough to bail on the series but it’s also not good enough to continue watching. I don’t even know what the hell to do
Good news: : Demoralization is setting in on the right
Their usual tricks aren't working and the Trump Admin is falling apart
They are facing total morale collapse
Advance
Their usual tricks aren't working and the Trump Admin is falling apart
They are facing total morale collapse
Advance
January 15, 2026 at 6:44 AM
Good news: : Demoralization is setting in on the right
Their usual tricks aren't working and the Trump Admin is falling apart
They are facing total morale collapse
Advance
Their usual tricks aren't working and the Trump Admin is falling apart
They are facing total morale collapse
Advance
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
Imagine a world where Tim Walz pivots from calling them “weird” to calling them “stinky”
January 14, 2026 at 9:58 PM
Imagine a world where Tim Walz pivots from calling them “weird” to calling them “stinky”
I’m still convinced that if Kamala had spoken during the campaign about a) Epstein and b) how Trump stinks like literal bootyhole and ass cheeks, she would have won
Every couple of weeks we get a different description of the apparently awful stench coming off our necrotic president and I think it's high time the media nail down exactly what kind of rotten meat covered in women's perfume he actually smells like.
January 14, 2026 at 9:55 PM
I’m still convinced that if Kamala had spoken during the campaign about a) Epstein and b) how Trump stinks like literal bootyhole and ass cheeks, she would have won
Reposted by Ian Miles Schlong
thumb looking dude on Trump's right is going through some things
January 14, 2026 at 9:49 PM
thumb looking dude on Trump's right is going through some things
It would be funny if these were the last words he uttered before he died
Trump: "You see that beautiful milk. That's what we're here for. We're gonna be discussing milk and whole milk and how good it is."
January 14, 2026 at 9:30 PM
It would be funny if these were the last words he uttered before he died
He’s not actually asleep here. His face is just conserving energy so his ass hole can fully focus on successfully depositing the load of feces into his pants
January 14, 2026 at 9:21 PM
He’s not actually asleep here. His face is just conserving energy so his ass hole can fully focus on successfully depositing the load of feces into his pants
BREAKING: Scott Adams back alive again after ivermectin in his bloodstream finally starts working
January 14, 2026 at 8:05 PM
BREAKING: Scott Adams back alive again after ivermectin in his bloodstream finally starts working