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Halloweean Miles Schlong

@tedcruznipples.com

14K followers 4.2K following 31K posts

Area man, unfortunately Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater in Los Angeles he/him

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · Jan 24

Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen

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Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

BigGirl @biggirlbeautiful.bsky.social · 3h

Take me now

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

Can’t sleep. Tardigrades will get me.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

You’re not wrong

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

Well as long as he means well

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

Oh god help me

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

😳

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

Yes

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

Can’t sleep. Tardigrades will get me.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 14h

Oh come on. Let the suit go forward. We need this distraction. Killjoy ass judge

Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com · 15h

NEW: Federal judge dismisses Drake's defamation case against Kendrick Lamar storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

The issue in this case is whether "Not Like Us" can reasonably be understood to convey as a factual matter that Drake is a pedophile or that he has engaged in sexual relations with minors. In light of the overall context in which the statements in the Recording were made, the Court holds that it cannot.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 15h

a man in a white tank top is sitting on a bed with the words that is correct behind him

Alt: Farley saying that is correct and ripping off his tank top

media.tenor.com

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 15h

Unfortunately Stephen doesn’t have reproductive organs as we understand them. When he and Katie mate, he uses his palps to transfer spermatozoa into her egg sacs, which then develop into larvae.

KRoe @kroe14.bsky.social · 15h

OMFG. I had to look up who that guy was. F*&ing hilarious. Maybe we can get Stephen Miller to go in for the same procedure as well? He must be feeling even more insecure than normal after his wife briefly left him for Elmo.

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 16h

He says Trump has crippled Antifa’s foundation in 8 short months of leadership. So why are they sending in troops to all the cities if that’s the case. Sometimes I worry that these guys are completely full of beans.

Wes Smith Ω 🧢 @wessmith123.bsky.social · 23h

🙄 The boot-licker is chasing shadows again. He can’t even find the $50K the FBI gave Tom Homan in a paper bag. How’s he going to follow the money of a nonexistent Antifa organization?

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 16h

Donald, please reconsider. If you passed into the next life while having your cock surgically enlarged, your legacy would be forever tarnished and it would damage the United States’ world standing. A lot is on the line here.

Spooky Middle-Aged Loser @yourgoddamndad.bsky.social · 16h

don't forget our boy Ehud Arye Laniado, who went under the knife bc of his small cock shame and ended up doing the funniest thing imaginable

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 16h

Close up of Hegseth doing a thousand yard stare in the background

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 17h

If he’s going to the hospital for penis enlargement surgery, he needs to be careful — Elon had that surgery recently, and his entire cock exploded and died. Donald’s gonna need that cock to have extramarital relations with Laura Loomer. If I were him I’d just call off the whole thing.

Prem Thakker @prem thakker

New — White House says Donald Trump will visit Walter Reed Medical Center on Friday.
While there, he will "stop by for his routine yearly check up."
But... Trump had his annual check up already. 5 months ago. On April 11.
Statement from the Press Secretary
"On Friday morning, President Trump will visit Walter Reed Medical Center for a planned meeting and remarks with the troops. While there, President Trump will stop by for his routine yearly check up. He will then return to the White House. President Trump is considering going to the Middle East shortly thereafter." - White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 17h

“I’ve spoken about this at length with my friend, the late great Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Very renowned physician. And, by the way, he’d love to have you all for dinner.”

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 18h

Trump: "There is a tremendous amount of proof or evidence I would say as a non-doctor, but I've studied this a long time."

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 17h

It’s an embarrassment of riches in that regard

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 17h

It appears he said that

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 17h

Donald, don’t go to your IV treatments anymore. It’s too much liquid. It’s too many different things going into your horrendous decomposing body at too big a number. What do you have to lose?

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 18h

Trump on autism: "Obviously there is something that is artificially I think induced, whether it's vaccines in terms of these massive vaccines that are twice the size of a jar like that ... I would say don't take Tylenol if you're pregnant. What do you have to lose?"

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 18h

I’m sure he’ll come back to those in due time

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 18h

Oh god he’s obsessed with liquid

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 18h

“Thanks , Wolf. You’re a Jew, but I’m happy to come back here and speak with you in the Situation Room as long as you don’t try to drink my blood.”

Justin Baragona @justinbaragona.bsky.social · 20h

Following MTG's lengthy CNN sitdown interview, Wolf Blitzer tells her:

"You‘re a courageous politician, but more important, a loving mother. Thanks very much for coming in. We hope you‘ll come back here in the Situation Room."

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

On god he did

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Honestly this was uncalled for by that one buffalo. Chill out man

Dan Izzo @izzos.us · 1d

And there's some men out there who are like "I could take one"

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

Genius lyric card that says “I leave the pussy micro-soft like Windows Vista”
From LIL WAYNE, "SWAG SURF”

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Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 1d

The labeler announced that it was shutting down, everyone suspected it was due to pressure from Bsky team given the timing, but the labeler creator said that wasn’t the case and was doing it of their own volition bc of ppl using it irresponsibly, it was random and weird