Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Halloweean Miles Schlong

@tedcruznipples.com

14K followers 4.2K following 31K posts

Area man, unfortunately Bluesky’s #1 Ken Bone hater in Los Angeles he/him

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · Jan 24

Everything is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen

28 240 1.6K

Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

D. and Joe @boonandstrummer.bsky.social · 4h

"We love Heroin Bob, don't we, folks? He's never done drugs, but more and more people call him that."

1 3

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 4h

Trump next week: “And we’re looking very strongly at Salt Lake City. They call it SLC. There are “punks” there. Lots and lots of punks. They have blue hair, they’re running around with sheets of acid in their pockets and tripping for days and days. They’re scaring good Christians in Wyoming.”

Delbert Grady Seasons @delbertgseasons.bsky.social · 4h

Wondering what movie he just saw. My guess is “The Book of Eli” (2010)

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 7h

Trump: "I don't know what could be worse than Portland. You don't even have stores anymore. They don't even put glass up. They put plywood on their windows."

1 4 20

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 5h

The rapist is not in charge. Well, not the one in this photo anyway.

Carl Quintanilla @carlquintanilla.bsky.social · 5h

Good lord.

@apnews.com

1 12

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 6h

If it wasn’t for NBC this motherfucker would be drying off windshields for $1 tips down at the car wash

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 6h

Q: You said you might go to Gaza--

TRUMP: Who are you with?

Q: I'm representing the TV pool but I'm with NBC

TRUMP: That's too bad

2 13

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 6h

You forgot to mention the part where President Trump is a demented lying piece of shit who rapes children and is evil

BREAKING NEWS
President Trump said the Israel-Hamas cease-fire negotiations were "going very well" and said he may travel to the Middle East this weekend.

2 1 21

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 7h

Never seen a labeler get poster’s madness before. What a time to be alive.

Follow Tracker @for.shame.wtf · 7h

Some of you are blaming @jay.bsky.team or @bsky.app in general, or claiming that this is being forced by @moderation.bsky.app. That could not be further from the truth. I'm shutting it down of my own volition because some of you can't be trusted to use this information reasonably and responsibly.

7 22 140

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 8h

Have they considered making him an offer he can’t refuse

Sahil Kapur @sahilkapur.bsky.social · 10h

Ruben @gallego.senate.gov, D-Ariz., says GOP senators tell him they want a health care deal. “The biggest sticking point now that I’m hearing from them is like, even if we get something, [Mike] Johnson is just going to tank it. So why? Why would we move if Johnson is going to tank it?”

1 8

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 8h

Yes indeed

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 8h

I’ll be fully prepared with canned retorts

1 1

Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

Jonny Five @deadandgoated.bsky.social · 8h

It's for his dog he backed over while leaving the house that morning

1 2

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 8h

If this happened to me I would simply hijack the plane and do my best to land us safely at our intended destination

Kashmir Hill @kashhill.bsky.social · 10h

This is absolutely wild. I’m on a cross country flight. We are being diverted midway through to Denver. The reason? Some dude is sitting in the exit row who didn’t pay the $155 fee and he refuses to move back to his seat.

1 10

Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

TresTiffany @trestiffany.bsky.social · 9h

“What’s your barber name?” is crazy 😂

37 400 1.8K

Reposted by Halloweean Miles Schlong

Funny Karate Bear (But Spooky ooooooo!) @thedimpsler.bsky.social · 8h

Carlie Kirk

1 3

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 8h

Just saw a guy with a tiny flagpole attached to the top of his car, and the American flag on it was flying at half mast. Give it a rest already you fuckin dork.

2 19

Halloweean Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · 8h

When I’m president of the United States, I’m going to bring down the most comically draconian and vindictive persecution of Mike Johnson lol. It’s going to be absolutely horrible and wildly unbecoming of my office. I almost feel sorry for him, and the country. I can hardly be blamed though.