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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 2d

“Ugh, stop, stop, just fuckin’ STOP already.”
“Ahhh, another perfectly satisfied young lady.”

Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 3d

I’m picturing the “sex god” claiming to bring his partner to climax only to be told he’s licking the grates on the nearby stovetop. 😂

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 3d

Like I need an excuse to spoil him. 😜

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 3d

The matzoh ball soup. 😉

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 3d

Over the past 48 hours, that was theoretically at risk, so this means a little something extra to me today. 😉

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 3d

Just got home from shoulder replacement surgery, and started the healing process with some pastrami and some Jewish penicillin.

Glad to be on the other side of this. Plenty of recovery still to go.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 5d

Explain your username:

I dunno, they scribbled this on a note and stuck it on me when I was little. It’s entirely their fault. I wanted Muscles McSexy. But the union only allows one per name and I’d have to make up a middle initial; seriously, Muscles Q. McSexy? GTFO.

kelsey jaffer 👻 @kelatonin.bsky.social · 5d

Explain your username:

Kelsey ➡️ Kel

Melatonin help sleep

Kelatonin

Tea’s so happy being Teddy Roosevelt @teaberryblue.net · 5d

Explain your user name:

Tea is my first (nick) name, I like Teaberry Gum and Berry-Blue Jell-o, and I have been using this as a handle since college, that’s really all there is to it.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 8d

Graffiti has caught up with the 21st century. 🤣

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Reposted by Alex Weitzman

Michael Allan Schneider @quadbonus.bsky.social · 9d

👹ACTORS!!!👹

It's been over a year since the last one, so get ready to jump into the triumphant return of my workshop:

THE ONE THAT BOOKED

Grab a spot while you can!!

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 12d

a man in a suit and tie is smiling and says space !

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is smiling and says space !

media.tenor.com

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 19d

So.

Kenvue. (Owners of Tylenol.)

You should sue the administration.

…c’monnnnnnn. Do it. It’ll be fun.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 20d

Kimmel’s back?

Okay.

I wanna know if there were conditions he’s being asked to accept. That’s REALLY important context for this development.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 20d

a cartoon of a bird carrying a lion on its back with the words # attack hug below it .

ALT: a cartoon of a bird carrying a lion on its back with the words # attack hug below it .

media.tenor.com

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Reposted by Alex Weitzman

The Onion @theonion.com · 20d

BREAKING: Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 20d

Look, @lastweektonight.com, I love you guys, and far be it for me to speak for the entirety of voiceover, but

NO
NO
NO NO NO
DO NOT SEND TED CRUZ TO US
WE DO NOT WANT HIM

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 20d

I like how, in The Prince of Egypt, little baby Moses lays it on REAL thick for the Queen when she uncovers him.

“Oh, what a surprise, a royal maternal figure, what’s an eminently adorable and adoptable and rescue-able infant like me to do? Goo goo.”

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Reposted by Alex Weitzman

The Weeping Somnambulist @pigeon75.bsky.social · 23d

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Reposted by Alex Weitzman

smelly wolf penis @gnarlyanimal.bsky.social · Sep 7

required reading

Do not let these milquetoast white men content creators convince you that we are doomed. They are selling fear and profiting off of it.

His health is failing. The cult has lost its momentum. The Epstein victims are actively making their case and trials will be happening, worldwide. The GOP is fighting amongst themselves about everything. Dems are winning their elections at federal and state levels. The military is being sent to cities to then stand around and get mocked. Judges have ruled it's illegal to be sent to blue cities in the first place. Alligator Alcatraz got shut down. They're desperate to hire people for ICE because people keep quitting. Protests are happening every week, everywhere.

We are in a very scary and very chaotic time. Project 2025 is terrifying. People are being emboldened to be violent, and people are being traumatized and harmed. The country has been divided and damaged, but not beyond repair and rebuild. We will get through this, we can't just give up and comply in advance. Don't let the bastards get you down.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 23d

If Matt Damon is rich enough to start his own TV network, he has the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible right now.

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Reposted by Alex Weitzman

Sophie Labelle @assignedmale.bsky.social · 26d

The government won't tell you that they are fascists, but they will tell you that anti-fascists are their enemies.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 24d

If I were you guys, I’d be fighting to get Kimmel back on the air, even if he’s mean to Thin-Skinned Daddy-Man. I wouldn’t do that dance.

You’re gonna look even stupider for way longer than you think, if you don’t.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 24d

The mockery will be all the more savage, the insight all the more biting, the disrespect to your inherently disrespectable words and deeds all the more uproariously laughed at.

It’ll happen immediately, everywhere where comedy still gets done. It’ll happen later, when those silenced return again.

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 24d

BTW, a stark reminder for MAGA:

This doesn’t actually get rid of comedic, critical, satirical voices.

You can dance like little idiots that your thin-skinned daddy-man scared a gutless corpo into silencing itself, for the moment.

Because your dance will be the very next bit of parodic gristle.

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Reposted by Alex Weitzman

Linsay Rousseau @linsayrousseau.bsky.social · 24d

The silencing of #Colbert and now #Kimmel is a disgrace to the industry. This is what censorship looks like.
#NexstarMedia #ABC #Disney

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Alex Weitzman @alexweitzman.bsky.social · 24d

Heck yeah!!!

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