alonelyrobot.bsky.social
@alonelyrobot.bsky.social
Pinned
Being told to “be myself” makes me want to hit myself in the head with a rock.
September 25, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Reposted
September 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Reposted
“Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.”

— Linus Van Pelt
September 24, 2025 at 5:21 PM
This morning I was at someone’s house and they were watching a replay of a baseball game where a guy got beaned in the face with a fastball. The pitcher was a wreck. People were crying. Then they broke for commercials and the first ad had Jean-Ralphio throwing an apple in Isaac Newton’s face.
September 25, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Someone at Fox News just learned the phrase “cognitive dissonance” because they say it ALL. THE. TIME.
September 25, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Reposted
J.D. Vance might be the most fatherless man who has ever walked the Earth.

I mean obviously he had no choice in the circumstances of his birth and upbringing, but it feels like literally EVERY point where a positive role model might have entered his life instead realized he wasn't worth the effort.
September 24, 2025 at 11:44 PM
September 25, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I wish you people would stop posting that one “liberal” lady, because next week, she’ll just flirt with the conservative “comedian” on her podcast.
September 24, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Rowlf is my favorite Muppet, and I somehow didn’t know until fairly recently (maybe from a @kenplume.bsky.social thread?) that he was once the main Muppet.
It’s worth remembering that Rowlf was *the* Muppet with anything approaching national household name recognition at the time, so this was IBM booking the breakout star of THE JIMMY DEAN SHOW. (This segment features a cameo by legendary Muppets writer Jerry Juhl as the customer.)
September 24, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I’d be disappointed if this wasn’t just plagiarizing Peter David.
THE RETURN OF THE AMAZING BULK
Written by Atom Mudman Bezecny
September 24, 2025 at 6:01 PM
This played in movie theaters across the world.
September 24, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I just started to text to check in with someone I haven’t talked to in a while and saw the last text I sent them was me doing the same thing 11 months ago and they didn’t respond then. Hope they’re ok.
September 24, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Does Quizno’s still have plates shaped like word balloons? Does Quizno’s still have Quizno’s?
September 23, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Reposted
I told the Reverend he made me proud to be a Christian.
September 21, 2025 at 1:53 PM
You know Jimmy’s gonna cry tonight.
September 23, 2025 at 4:02 PM
I don’t want to know this person.
September 23, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Reposted
September 22, 2025 at 7:09 PM
A great piece of writing from 20 years ago that speaks to the issues of today.

outlawvern.com/2005/09/01/m...
Memories of the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards haunt me as Hurricane Katrina destroys New Orleans | VERN'S REVIEWS on the FILMS of CINEMA
(It's not as bad as it sounds. I'm pretty proud of this one actually. I should submit it to TV Guide.)
outlawvern.com
September 23, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Batman ‘66 season 2 had 60 episodes.
September 23, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Did Borat do anything at Kirk’s funeral?
September 23, 2025 at 3:21 AM
@jamesgunn.bsky.social should be a guest on @jimmykimmellive.bsky.social when it comes back.
September 22, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Kim Cattrall is played by Paul Walker’s brother.
Just had the a great awful idea come to mind: a cross over between Sex snd the City & the Fast and the Furious
September 22, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Someone on here was saying to stop caring about Disney because your most treasured childhood memory wasn’t a cartoon, and while I get the sentiment, all the humans in my childhood memories are also nazis now, so
September 22, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Some of you seem surprised by this, but the last funeral I went to was in Texas and the preacher had a whole chunk on how people who needed therapy after having a gun pointed at them were weak.
“What do YOU HAVE? You have NOTHING, you are nothing. You are wickedness, you are jealousy, you are hatred, YOU ARE NOTHING. You can build nothing, produce nothing, create nothing."
September 22, 2025 at 3:24 PM
I’ve been working on something for a couple weeks, and I just made myself laugh rereading it, so that’s a good sign, I guess?
September 22, 2025 at 3:23 AM