Andy Beckerman
@andybeckerman.bsky.social
I host the Beginnings & Couples Therapy podcasts. TV writer. Former philosophy professor. Casiopop king. Figuring out dystopia.
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
We are the daughters of the cats Alf couldn't eat
November 17, 2025 at 9:47 PM
We are the daughters of the cats Alf couldn't eat
You know, Sarah Hurwitz is right, if you can just divorce your brain from the myriad images of shredded Palestinian children, and listen to the cold logic of what she's saying, you can say rationally, and not emotionally, that everything she says is the demented ramblings of a psychotic halfwit.
November 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
You know, Sarah Hurwitz is right, if you can just divorce your brain from the myriad images of shredded Palestinian children, and listen to the cold logic of what she's saying, you can say rationally, and not emotionally, that everything she says is the demented ramblings of a psychotic halfwit.
Cops in real life: doing donuts in the Wal-Mart parking lot dressed in full Klan gear firing uzis out the window.
Result: promotions for everyone!
Cops in TV shows: accidentally put an extra comma on a speeding ticket
Result: IA investigation & due to the error, ten serial killers are freed
Result: promotions for everyone!
Cops in TV shows: accidentally put an extra comma on a speeding ticket
Result: IA investigation & due to the error, ten serial killers are freed
November 24, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Cops in real life: doing donuts in the Wal-Mart parking lot dressed in full Klan gear firing uzis out the window.
Result: promotions for everyone!
Cops in TV shows: accidentally put an extra comma on a speeding ticket
Result: IA investigation & due to the error, ten serial killers are freed
Result: promotions for everyone!
Cops in TV shows: accidentally put an extra comma on a speeding ticket
Result: IA investigation & due to the error, ten serial killers are freed
When you call ICE "nazis", very online people pop up to say *actually* Nazi Germany got ideas from the Jim Crow South. Here's the thing, considering 50% of America is functionally illiterate, I'm gonna namecheck the bad guys from FAMOUS MOVIE Indiana Jones rather than Corporal Cornelius Vandertits
November 22, 2025 at 6:40 AM
When you call ICE "nazis", very online people pop up to say *actually* Nazi Germany got ideas from the Jim Crow South. Here's the thing, considering 50% of America is functionally illiterate, I'm gonna namecheck the bad guys from FAMOUS MOVIE Indiana Jones rather than Corporal Cornelius Vandertits
Excited to announce I am now an Evangelical influencer, and Fox Faith has asked me to premiere a clip from their new Jesus podcast series starring Kristen Bell as Mary Magdalene & Neal McDonough as Jesus! #ReadRevelations
November 21, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Excited to announce I am now an Evangelical influencer, and Fox Faith has asked me to premiere a clip from their new Jesus podcast series starring Kristen Bell as Mary Magdalene & Neal McDonough as Jesus! #ReadRevelations
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
Rolling out the Matt Christman quote from after Charlottesville (2017) again:
November 21, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Rolling out the Matt Christman quote from after Charlottesville (2017) again:
Left out of the generative AI convo is the fact that IT WILL *NEVER* WORK in any real way because it is based on a defective model of how language works.
Pay artists to make things! I thought it'd be funny for Garfield to kiss Heathcliff like in the VJ Day photo, so I paid an artist to draw it!
Pay artists to make things! I thought it'd be funny for Garfield to kiss Heathcliff like in the VJ Day photo, so I paid an artist to draw it!
November 18, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Left out of the generative AI convo is the fact that IT WILL *NEVER* WORK in any real way because it is based on a defective model of how language works.
Pay artists to make things! I thought it'd be funny for Garfield to kiss Heathcliff like in the VJ Day photo, so I paid an artist to draw it!
Pay artists to make things! I thought it'd be funny for Garfield to kiss Heathcliff like in the VJ Day photo, so I paid an artist to draw it!
Found this at the boardwalk next to the Big Johnson t-shirts.
November 17, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Found this at the boardwalk next to the Big Johnson t-shirts.
If I get to reboot Six Feet Under, I'm updating the flash forward to everyone’s deaths: long covid, water wars, tornado full of buzzsaws, real long covid, shot by bird flu-tainted bullets, choked to death on a Raisinette, organs harvested by a maniacal billionaire, comically long covid & soul cancer
November 16, 2025 at 11:56 PM
If I get to reboot Six Feet Under, I'm updating the flash forward to everyone’s deaths: long covid, water wars, tornado full of buzzsaws, real long covid, shot by bird flu-tainted bullets, choked to death on a Raisinette, organs harvested by a maniacal billionaire, comically long covid & soul cancer
TV & film writers have spent decades trying to write nuanced, multifaceted villains, and then you read the half-literate ramblings of the imbeciles in the Epstein e-mails & realize the true way to write bad guys is to imagine them as Lennie from Of Mice and Men but with six different kinds of CTE
November 14, 2025 at 9:06 PM
TV & film writers have spent decades trying to write nuanced, multifaceted villains, and then you read the half-literate ramblings of the imbeciles in the Epstein e-mails & realize the true way to write bad guys is to imagine them as Lennie from Of Mice and Men but with six different kinds of CTE
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Nice talk with Marc Hollander of Aksak Maboul & founder of Crammed Discs! Growing up in post-war Brussels, decolonizing your aesthetic, parental desires & choosing your own path + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAk...
Nice talk with Marc Hollander of Aksak Maboul & founder of Crammed Discs! Growing up in post-war Brussels, decolonizing your aesthetic, parental desires & choosing your own path + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAk...
November 14, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Nice talk with Marc Hollander of Aksak Maboul & founder of Crammed Discs! Growing up in post-war Brussels, decolonizing your aesthetic, parental desires & choosing your own path + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAk...
Nice talk with Marc Hollander of Aksak Maboul & founder of Crammed Discs! Growing up in post-war Brussels, decolonizing your aesthetic, parental desires & choosing your own path + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsAk...
Are you telling me the newspaper that spent the last two years going gaga for genocide *also* helped cover up ties between The World's Most Famous Pedophile and Donald Trump?!? Existential vertigo, man; my whole worldview is now topsy-turvy
November 12, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Are you telling me the newspaper that spent the last two years going gaga for genocide *also* helped cover up ties between The World's Most Famous Pedophile and Donald Trump?!? Existential vertigo, man; my whole worldview is now topsy-turvy
What's the next best thing to getting a letter from The Coen Brothers? Getting a letter from the Coen Brothers' legal representation!
November 12, 2025 at 12:23 AM
What's the next best thing to getting a letter from The Coen Brothers? Getting a letter from the Coen Brothers' legal representation!
The Ruling Elite:
November 10, 2025 at 11:49 PM
The Ruling Elite:
“And let me tell you another thing— where’s my— what happened to my fuckin’ drink—? What was I say… right, right, the Orioles haven’t been the same since ‘08… what do mean I’m cut off?!”
November 10, 2025 at 7:40 PM
“And let me tell you another thing— where’s my— what happened to my fuckin’ drink—? What was I say… right, right, the Orioles haven’t been the same since ‘08… what do mean I’m cut off?!”
Andy’s Party Tip #12: If you run into a casual acquaintance you haven’t seen in a while, and they ask you how you are doing, the appropriate response is “Not bad” and not “Kinda apprehensive about just exactly when American Kristallnact is going to pop off”.
November 9, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Andy’s Party Tip #12: If you run into a casual acquaintance you haven’t seen in a while, and they ask you how you are doing, the appropriate response is “Not bad” and not “Kinda apprehensive about just exactly when American Kristallnact is going to pop off”.
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Great talk with writer & journalist @davidjroth.bsky.social! Negative motivation, suburban existentialism, how your moral instincts develop, building solidarity from exploitation + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsDJR
Great talk with writer & journalist @davidjroth.bsky.social! Negative motivation, suburban existentialism, how your moral instincts develop, building solidarity from exploitation + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsDJR
November 7, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Great talk with writer & journalist @davidjroth.bsky.social! Negative motivation, suburban existentialism, how your moral instincts develop, building solidarity from exploitation + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsDJR
Great talk with writer & journalist @davidjroth.bsky.social! Negative motivation, suburban existentialism, how your moral instincts develop, building solidarity from exploitation + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsDJR
1980: To promote your movie you have a pleasant conversation with Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show
2025: You debase yourself on 80 different video podcasts. “Smellboy” has 19 million followers so you smell strangers shoes with him on the street. You are an A-list star. Your film grosses $19,000.
2025: You debase yourself on 80 different video podcasts. “Smellboy” has 19 million followers so you smell strangers shoes with him on the street. You are an A-list star. Your film grosses $19,000.
November 6, 2025 at 2:27 PM
1980: To promote your movie you have a pleasant conversation with Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show
2025: You debase yourself on 80 different video podcasts. “Smellboy” has 19 million followers so you smell strangers shoes with him on the street. You are an A-list star. Your film grosses $19,000.
2025: You debase yourself on 80 different video podcasts. “Smellboy” has 19 million followers so you smell strangers shoes with him on the street. You are an A-list star. Your film grosses $19,000.
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Nice talk with Thalia Zedek of Come, Live Skull, Thalia Zedek Band... We talk the geography of belonging, the political tumult of the ‘60s, poetry & vulnerability, when to flee fascism + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsZe...
Nice talk with Thalia Zedek of Come, Live Skull, Thalia Zedek Band... We talk the geography of belonging, the political tumult of the ‘60s, poetry & vulnerability, when to flee fascism + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsZe...
October 31, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Nice talk with Thalia Zedek of Come, Live Skull, Thalia Zedek Band... We talk the geography of belonging, the political tumult of the ‘60s, poetry & vulnerability, when to flee fascism + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsZe...
Nice talk with Thalia Zedek of Come, Live Skull, Thalia Zedek Band... We talk the geography of belonging, the political tumult of the ‘60s, poetry & vulnerability, when to flee fascism + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsZe...
I have a different take on American reality than the “Everyone is twelve now” guy, and it’s called: What would a psychotic oaf do?
“We’re going to intentionally starve 40 million people.” By golly, by gum, that’s exactly the kind of malevolent recklessness I’d expect from a psychotic oaf!
“We’re going to intentionally starve 40 million people.” By golly, by gum, that’s exactly the kind of malevolent recklessness I’d expect from a psychotic oaf!
October 31, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I have a different take on American reality than the “Everyone is twelve now” guy, and it’s called: What would a psychotic oaf do?
“We’re going to intentionally starve 40 million people.” By golly, by gum, that’s exactly the kind of malevolent recklessness I’d expect from a psychotic oaf!
“We’re going to intentionally starve 40 million people.” By golly, by gum, that’s exactly the kind of malevolent recklessness I’d expect from a psychotic oaf!
Reposted by Andy Beckerman
I dunno, man. Sometimes the only way to get a stupid idea out of my head is to just draw it. Otherwise it cycles around and around in my brain forever.
October 30, 2025 at 7:35 PM
I dunno, man. Sometimes the only way to get a stupid idea out of my head is to just draw it. Otherwise it cycles around and around in my brain forever.
PR isn't a science. We've had 80 years of films showing Nazis as depraved, blood-drinking ghouls & soulless, shit-eating simpletons & *yet* 30% of Americans will still line up to get Klaus Barbie face tattoos & buy Big Johnson "With a Big Johnson in you, everything is going to be all Reich" t-shirts
October 30, 2025 at 7:34 PM
PR isn't a science. We've had 80 years of films showing Nazis as depraved, blood-drinking ghouls & soulless, shit-eating simpletons & *yet* 30% of Americans will still line up to get Klaus Barbie face tattoos & buy Big Johnson "With a Big Johnson in you, everything is going to be all Reich" t-shirts
Don’t think I can wait over a month to start opening my Pre-Cooked Pasta Advent Calendar. What will be behind Dec. 3rd? A single, soft pre-cooked rotini? Farfalle? What secrets lie behind the 18th? Or 23rd? A rolled-up piece of linguine? 1/4 of a tortellini? The path to Christmas is lined with ziti!
October 30, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Don’t think I can wait over a month to start opening my Pre-Cooked Pasta Advent Calendar. What will be behind Dec. 3rd? A single, soft pre-cooked rotini? Farfalle? What secrets lie behind the 18th? Or 23rd? A rolled-up piece of linguine? 1/4 of a tortellini? The path to Christmas is lined with ziti!
RFK Jr. answers the question, "What if Dr. Mengele had experimented on himself?"
October 29, 2025 at 4:33 PM
RFK Jr. answers the question, "What if Dr. Mengele had experimented on himself?"
Heartwarming video in 2022: A kitten and a duck are best friends. They clean each other & share food.
Heartwarming video 2025: An ICE agent chasing a child falls into an open sewer. He is so scared he shits himself. While trying to crawl out, a blast of sewage knocks him into a pile of dead rats.
Heartwarming video 2025: An ICE agent chasing a child falls into an open sewer. He is so scared he shits himself. While trying to crawl out, a blast of sewage knocks him into a pile of dead rats.
October 28, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Heartwarming video in 2022: A kitten and a duck are best friends. They clean each other & share food.
Heartwarming video 2025: An ICE agent chasing a child falls into an open sewer. He is so scared he shits himself. While trying to crawl out, a blast of sewage knocks him into a pile of dead rats.
Heartwarming video 2025: An ICE agent chasing a child falls into an open sewer. He is so scared he shits himself. While trying to crawl out, a blast of sewage knocks him into a pile of dead rats.