Mad Auntie Kristy
@auntiekristy.bsky.social
wistful writer. reluctant poet. tired native. full of fire and bad metaphors. published under Kristine Wyllys.
“the banshee of affirmations” -@morriswayts
https://ko-fi.com/A457ISS
she/her/eldritch abomination.
“the banshee of affirmations” -@morriswayts
https://ko-fi.com/A457ISS
she/her/eldritch abomination.
Pinned
My Mother’s White Devil: the final but not finale.
Auntie Kristy published a post on Ko-fi
ko-fi.com
Need a break from doomscrolling? Want to read a trauma dumped story before my therapist? WELL YOU’RE IN LUCK. THE PROMISED STORY IS COMPLETED:
trigger warnings for abuse, addiction, death, gambling, and general fuckery.
ko-fi.com/post/My-Moth...
trigger warnings for abuse, addiction, death, gambling, and general fuckery.
ko-fi.com/post/My-Moth...
This isn't even my family. I'm just practicing for Thanksgiving.
I'M TWO MARGARITAS DEEP AND ABOUT TO RUIN THIS FAMILY DINNER TALKING ABOUT TRUMP SUCKING DICK.
November 14, 2025 at 10:47 PM
This isn't even my family. I'm just practicing for Thanksgiving.
I'M TWO MARGARITAS DEEP AND ABOUT TO RUIN THIS FAMILY DINNER TALKING ABOUT TRUMP SUCKING DICK.
November 14, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I'M TWO MARGARITAS DEEP AND ABOUT TO RUIN THIS FAMILY DINNER TALKING ABOUT TRUMP SUCKING DICK.
Today feels like a good day to burn some bridges.
November 1, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Today feels like a good day to burn some bridges.
IT SAUTES! AND SEARS! IT SLOW COOKS AND HAS A BUTTON FOR QUINOA. I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER EATEN QUINOA IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SOCIETY IS TRYING TO PEER PRESSURE ME INTO IT MUCH LIKE KALE BUT IF I WANTED TO, IT HAS A WHOLE BUTTON FOR IT.
I've been waxing poetically about @alwayscoffee.bsky.social for a decade and I'll continue for the rest of my decades because y'all. My girl. She is brilliant and kind and loyal and wise and funny and the purest of magics and I'm so bloody grateful for her.
October 24, 2025 at 5:56 PM
IT SAUTES! AND SEARS! IT SLOW COOKS AND HAS A BUTTON FOR QUINOA. I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER EATEN QUINOA IN MY LIFE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SOCIETY IS TRYING TO PEER PRESSURE ME INTO IT MUCH LIKE KALE BUT IF I WANTED TO, IT HAS A WHOLE BUTTON FOR IT.
I've been waxing poetically about @alwayscoffee.bsky.social for a decade and I'll continue for the rest of my decades because y'all. My girl. She is brilliant and kind and loyal and wise and funny and the purest of magics and I'm so bloody grateful for her.
October 24, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I've been waxing poetically about @alwayscoffee.bsky.social for a decade and I'll continue for the rest of my decades because y'all. My girl. She is brilliant and kind and loyal and wise and funny and the purest of magics and I'm so bloody grateful for her.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT ALT TEXTING JUST THIS ONCE
October 10, 2025 at 1:37 PM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT ALT TEXTING JUST THIS ONCE
I have nearly killed myself with overtime the last few months but also we got 18's girlfriend here and we are 48 hours from move in day and you know. That's not too shabby for a girl who a handful of months ago needed help just feeding her family.
October 8, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I have nearly killed myself with overtime the last few months but also we got 18's girlfriend here and we are 48 hours from move in day and you know. That's not too shabby for a girl who a handful of months ago needed help just feeding her family.
Alright, lovelies. It's Friday morning. Auntie is a week from move in day, coming off another 50 hour work week, and having her Friday morning fountain drink which will be followed by a beer. My heart is heavy, my brain is stuffed, and I miss y'all like mad. Tell me some good things going on.
October 3, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Alright, lovelies. It's Friday morning. Auntie is a week from move in day, coming off another 50 hour work week, and having her Friday morning fountain drink which will be followed by a beer. My heart is heavy, my brain is stuffed, and I miss y'all like mad. Tell me some good things going on.
In the midst of every awful thing (and some good things too, tbf), I've been obsessively tracking the Global Sumud Flotilla and there's one, ONE, tiny ship still sailing toward Gaza and I just ....
an older man with a beard is crying while wearing a suit .
Alt: An old man with white hair and a beard wearing a suit holding his hand to his mouth and crying.
media.tenor.com
October 3, 2025 at 4:20 AM
In the midst of every awful thing (and some good things too, tbf), I've been obsessively tracking the Global Sumud Flotilla and there's one, ONE, tiny ship still sailing toward Gaza and I just ....
Me: Apparently I gave you autism by taking Tylenol.
18: Don't worry about it. The rapture is happening tomorrow anyway.
18: Which you will not participate in.
18: Because you gave me Autism.
Me: 😐
18: Hope that headache was worth it, sinner.
18: Don't worry about it. The rapture is happening tomorrow anyway.
18: Which you will not participate in.
18: Because you gave me Autism.
Me: 😐
18: Hope that headache was worth it, sinner.
September 23, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Me: Apparently I gave you autism by taking Tylenol.
18: Don't worry about it. The rapture is happening tomorrow anyway.
18: Which you will not participate in.
18: Because you gave me Autism.
Me: 😐
18: Hope that headache was worth it, sinner.
18: Don't worry about it. The rapture is happening tomorrow anyway.
18: Which you will not participate in.
18: Because you gave me Autism.
Me: 😐
18: Hope that headache was worth it, sinner.
I have somehow ended up on the side of TikTok where people are prepping their homes for everyone left behind after the 23rd (or maybe 24th?) of September's Rapture and I am torn between amusement and religious trauma.
September 21, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I have somehow ended up on the side of TikTok where people are prepping their homes for everyone left behind after the 23rd (or maybe 24th?) of September's Rapture and I am torn between amusement and religious trauma.
I wish I could go back in time to New Mom Me and gently take her by the shoulders, look her in the eye and say, "baby, it doesn't matter if he won't latch anymore. You're gonna be parenting teen him through an apocalypse. Giving him formula will be fine."
September 21, 2025 at 1:47 PM
I wish I could go back in time to New Mom Me and gently take her by the shoulders, look her in the eye and say, "baby, it doesn't matter if he won't latch anymore. You're gonna be parenting teen him through an apocalypse. Giving him formula will be fine."
........y'all.
I just finished signing a lease.
We move October 10th.
😭😭🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
I just finished signing a lease.
We move October 10th.
😭😭🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
September 19, 2025 at 3:30 PM
........y'all.
I just finished signing a lease.
We move October 10th.
😭😭🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
I just finished signing a lease.
We move October 10th.
😭😭🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
*bursts into psychiatrist's office* I SMELL OF CIGARETTES AND SADNESS TODAY, MORGAN.
September 18, 2025 at 2:16 PM
*bursts into psychiatrist's office* I SMELL OF CIGARETTES AND SADNESS TODAY, MORGAN.
You guys. I'm fucking sob-laughing.
My current favorite resident is an old black lady who calls me beautiful and makes crawfish in the shelter kitchen and tonight she slid up to me all conspiratorial like, slipped me a mini candy bar, and:
My current favorite resident is an old black lady who calls me beautiful and makes crawfish in the shelter kitchen and tonight she slid up to me all conspiratorial like, slipped me a mini candy bar, and:
September 17, 2025 at 7:39 AM
You guys. I'm fucking sob-laughing.
My current favorite resident is an old black lady who calls me beautiful and makes crawfish in the shelter kitchen and tonight she slid up to me all conspiratorial like, slipped me a mini candy bar, and:
My current favorite resident is an old black lady who calls me beautiful and makes crawfish in the shelter kitchen and tonight she slid up to me all conspiratorial like, slipped me a mini candy bar, and:
Today can honestly go fuck itself. 😀😀😀
September 12, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Today can honestly go fuck itself. 😀😀😀
Whoop there it is.
RFK has already been out this week blaming school shootings on psychiatric meds.
September 12, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Whoop there it is.
Listen. I'm not a conspiracy theorist* but also .....
*I am a conspiracy theorist. A massive conspiracy theorist regarding all things government where it's less of a conspiracy and more of an educated guess given their everything.
*I am a conspiracy theorist. A massive conspiracy theorist regarding all things government where it's less of a conspiracy and more of an educated guess given their everything.
September 12, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Listen. I'm not a conspiracy theorist* but also .....
*I am a conspiracy theorist. A massive conspiracy theorist regarding all things government where it's less of a conspiracy and more of an educated guess given their everything.
*I am a conspiracy theorist. A massive conspiracy theorist regarding all things government where it's less of a conspiracy and more of an educated guess given their everything.
"violence is never the answer!!"
No, see, but sometimes it is. Like, I get what you're saying, but also sometimes violence is absolutely the answer.
No, see, but sometimes it is. Like, I get what you're saying, but also sometimes violence is absolutely the answer.
September 11, 2025 at 2:20 PM
"violence is never the answer!!"
No, see, but sometimes it is. Like, I get what you're saying, but also sometimes violence is absolutely the answer.
No, see, but sometimes it is. Like, I get what you're saying, but also sometimes violence is absolutely the answer.
IF YOU DON'T STOP RIGHT NOW AND LOOK AT THIS I SWEAR TO GOD:
Darlings! Who wants to see the cover of Offerings for Ordinary Gods, coming July 2026 from @clashbooks.bsky.social?
Spec horror ✔️
Mythic metaphors ✔️
Haunted cottage (or castle) read ✔️
Tarot cards✔️
Cover art by @katelanfoisy.bsky.social, btw!
Spec horror ✔️
Mythic metaphors ✔️
Haunted cottage (or castle) read ✔️
Tarot cards✔️
Cover art by @katelanfoisy.bsky.social, btw!
September 6, 2025 at 9:57 PM
IF YOU DON'T STOP RIGHT NOW AND LOOK AT THIS I SWEAR TO GOD:
El is good, solid people. If you can, please slide them some relief. If you can't, please boost.
I’m at $482 of $925 for Sept. rent. Could someone help me find $10 tonight? Your reposts & donations mean I can recover from a job that’s been breaking me down—and be home to care for my arthritic dog—while I rebuild a freelancing business.
Thank you!
Thank you!
August 31, 2025 at 1:30 AM
El is good, solid people. If you can, please slide them some relief. If you can't, please boost.
As someone who grew up deep in the evangelical church, whose father rubbed elbows, and sang for, the moral majority, sometimes it takes every bit of willpower in me not to scream, "THESE PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO FAST TRACK THE RAPTURE."
August 31, 2025 at 1:17 AM
As someone who grew up deep in the evangelical church, whose father rubbed elbows, and sang for, the moral majority, sometimes it takes every bit of willpower in me not to scream, "THESE PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO FAST TRACK THE RAPTURE."
I am 3 beers in on my first weekend off from the shelter in two months. How are Auntie's babies doing?
August 31, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I am 3 beers in on my first weekend off from the shelter in two months. How are Auntie's babies doing?
EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE BUT THIS SHIRT ISN'T.
August 31, 2025 at 12:36 AM
EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE BUT THIS SHIRT ISN'T.
Reposted by Mad Auntie Kristy
Friend of mine's kids were both injured in the shooting the other day, if you're feeling up to donating. gofund.me/72eb76d9
August 29, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Friend of mine's kids were both injured in the shooting the other day, if you're feeling up to donating. gofund.me/72eb76d9