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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned)

@azurebitch.bsky.social

1.8K followers 770 following 8.3K posts

She/her (/it but only if you're chill). Trans autistic wolfdyke. White. Hugo-nominated author, poet, gamer, statistician, bitch with teeth. 💙 In girlfriends with @skybun.bsky.social 18+ to follow. Southern Ontario. Writing: AzureCanis.itch.io

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · Jun 14

This is one of the hardest things I've ever done: asking for help.

After a financially devastating divorce, I am asking for help getting FFS, a gender-affirming surgery for which I am having to pay a vast majority out of pocket.

Any bit helps.

www.gofundme.com/f/help-blue-...

Donate to Help Blue (author of Unknown Number) get her surgery, organized by Blue Neustifter

I'll be honest: Choosing to make this project, to ask for help, i… Blue Neustifter needs your support for Help Blue (author of Unknown Number) get her surgery

www.gofundme.com

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 3h

I am so grateful for time with creatures like myself (on a lot of levels). Reminds me that the all the goals and shit I'm chasing aren't all of life, and that moments of connection make me happier than having another check mark on my to-do list.

Reposted by Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned)

Bunny Summers 🐰🏳️‍⚧️ @skybun.bsky.social · 6h

Trans women are so damn hot

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 8h

I am right and I should say it

Angela Quinton @werewolf.pizza · 8h

“Let Samara Weaving have a gun!”

– @azurebitch.bsky.social

Reposted by Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned)

S E Case @secase.bsky.social · 12h

Look at this, we're almost to $8,000 WOW

WHO will be the person to push it over $8k??? Will it be you??? Why not??? It would be an amazing accomplishment you could add to your resume

www.kickstarter.com/projects/iro...

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Reposted by Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned)

PSX Bunlith 🪄 BLM ACAB 🇵🇸 @b0tster.yeag.gay · 14h

fall ❤️🖤🍁

bunlith (goth trans rabbit fursona in a witch hat) jumping through autumn leaves!!

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 15h

How do I preorder this

Reposted by Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned)

DOG of BLUD @dogblud.bsky.social · 15h

I told Ependa this screenshot looked like a bargain-bin book cover and the rest attended to itself

A Guild Wars 2 screenshot turned into a fake book cover reading

PHOEBE
IS NOT GETTING HER PUSSY ATE
BECAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY ANIMALS AROUND

"Why on earth did you choose that for a title?"
- Washington Post

"They're making it weird."
- New York Times

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 15h

That's a good way to view it. I'll try to focus on that aspect, less on the reaction and more on it being a practice for myself.

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Like I get it, I definitely fit RSD criteria among other things, but boy I just.. sometimes social media interaction feels like such a minefield

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Yeah. I guess the real answer is "boy I wish everyone had access to good trauma work resources and therapists"

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

No, I appreciate you were commiserating! Just feeling a big helpless about it, didn't mean to come across as irritated at you.

Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Yeah and that's why I want to say *something* because I've been on the autistic receiving end of "I did something this person didn't like and they ghosted me and I never knew why" and it sucks but man sometimes the reactions I get make me feel like I'm not doing it right. But maybe it is what it is

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Oh yeah. "You're right I should check my privilege for being able to have a piece of clothing feels good, I'll go away now" definitely happens internally sometimes

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Haha I've considered the big announcement but always worry that will come across as super passive aggressive (which, to be fair, this thread could also be viewed as much I guess)

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

God that's so hard, I'm so sorry.

And yeah that's the part that hurts most, I think, is the feeling of "don't you have any idea how hard I've had to work to find scraps of joy in my life? Aren't I allowed to enjoy something without having to immediately give you therapy?"

Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Yeah, you're right. Thank you

Reposted by Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned)

🌱🐾 thistle ΘΔ& 🔜 hysterectomy @thistle.critter.land · 16h

new icon by @wavyrr.bsky.social 🥹

a painting of a coyote in a field of prairie thistle flowers

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Wow tag your violent content Chal

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Me too. Like I *do get it*. Sometimes other people's good news both makes me happy for them while simultaneously triggering a CPTSD cascade internally. But I care enough about the other person's joy to take that to my therapist or a good friend or a journal.

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

See that's my hope. I expect a lot of people on social media are as neurodivergent as I am, and so when I go "hey I don't like this, please don't" it's partly out of a hope that maybe no one has expressed to them that's hurtful before? But boy the reactions sometimes.

Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

I'm.. not talking about myself doing this to others, I'm asking about what to do when others react to *me* this way. Where I show a picture of a cute outfit or a nice meal and immediately get someone who turns it into a complaint about themselves

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Thank you. I try that and get blocked by them or such a lot but I guess that doesn't necessarily mean I'm doing it wrong. Always hard to tell if I'm fumbling something or it's just a lose lose

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

Yeah I'm afraid that may be the case, which then speaks to muting but man that always feels rude. It's so weird that "I will ignore you forever without telling you" is more polite than saying "hey please don't do that again, thank you"

Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

For sure, and I think there were times in my life, like back in my teens especially, where I probably had similar reactions and hadn't learned where to direct them. I get where it comes from. But I also don't know how to go "hey, please don't" in a way that people can hear without spiraling.

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Big Dyke Energy (GFM in pinned) @azurebitch.bsky.social · 16h

I mean yes but I can't control the time others spend on social media, so I'm trying to figure out if there's anything on my side of the equation I can do to handle it in a way that is kind to myself while also not setting others off

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