there are people on the internet i’ve never met in real life who have supported every single project i’ve put out for years and there are people in my actual family who have never read one single word i’ve written lol

The best part of this is Blue immediately understanding what Cam Bynum wants to do and tagging along

I hope nobody finds my tweets about how the Bears suck and sends them to my employer demanding my termination for speaking ill of the dead

I know some people get depressed around the holidays, but please keep in mind this is a very exciting time of year for those of us who like eating cold food while standing in front of an open refrigerator.

Somebody get Rudy Giuliani on CNN. I need to know how to feel about this Kendrick album.

Rep Matt Gaetz has announced he longer wishes to be considered for Attorney General — even worse he has to tell his girlfriend she can’t host prom at the DOJ.

Rep Matt Gaetz announced he is withdrawing from consideration for Attorney General — still no word on who he’s taking to the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.

Suing this machine for stealing my nickname from my jv basketball days.

Jake Paul should fight Dianne Feinstein next

(Getting to ask God one question.)

Iiiiiiiiiiiiis THIS your card?

Judges rule Katie Taylor has won the Jake Paul-Mike Tyson fight

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite leafy vegetable?

Endiiiiiiiiive! Will always love you!

Water Sports Statistician
Kink

🤝
P Value