Author | Lightnews

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip

@canglong333.bsky.social

320 followers 290 following 7.2K posts

Rumored to be a meat popsicle. But, really a leprechaun. Maybe a dirtbag. Warning: typos and snark ahead. I’m pissed off. Bad hip/knee. Spicy like Laoganma sauce. Unhip like @imtiredthatisall.lol said. And proud of it! :)

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unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · Feb 10

Bumping this up given recent events.

Ginger the garden witch @mkkraemer.bsky.social · Jan 3

your card is the Six of Athames. This card represents a period of calm journey for you. The journey may involve a career transition or the start of some new venture. Alternatively, this may be a quiet restorative period following some tumult in your life. In any case, you are entering calm waters.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 16h

Yeah, all you New Yorkers contemplating voting for Cuomo….don’t you think the nipple piercings should back in those dark COVID days?

Ian Miles Schlong @tedcruznipples.com · Sep 30

These photos of Governor Andrew Cuomo’s highly disturbing nipple situation got me through some of the darkest times of the coronavirus pandemic

Photo of Andrew cuomo at some kind of covid presser. You can clearly see through his shirt that both nipples have double barbell piercings

A closer shot of the nipples from the previous photo. Yup. It’s undeniable. And nothing was ever the same after we saw them.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 16h

AI is filtering everything now

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

Wishing the nation would follow what Arizona and Hawaii already know…daylight savings time sucks ass.

In fact….year round should be standard time.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

I just looked out my bathroom window and what do I see?

A World Series omen…..

A blue jay in the Cleveland suburbs….just took the photo

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

What’s the appropriate sentence?

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

It was weird last night. As I was passing out candy, I had a fair number of adults coming to his house for Halloween candy and NO KIDS with them.

One woman was nearly my age, if not older.

WTH?

Never had that happen before.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

Thought that applied to those who use horse dewormer, have brain worms, inject bleach, or do the double-jack off dance.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

This guy looks like a bad hombre named Boris. Or Chuckleduck Norris.

In other words, his lack of intellectual powers are written all over his face.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

Who is George Springer?

Why is George Springer?

Questions I should not ponder with this bad headache.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

Someone wants someone I don’t know to tell you to keep your shirt on, @gpatrick.bsky.social

So, I’ll tell you so it’s less of a shock

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unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

Whackadoodles all them. Unfortunately they have already or will at some point spawn.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 2d

We’re creeping up on that Great Depression largesse and the bigwigs just don’t give a shit.

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unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 3d

Is it just me or a fair number of adults without kids went trick or treating this year?

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 3d

I’m pretty sure even Abe had curtains over the commode window.

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 3d

So, this Halloween…I’m officially one of the old folks out on the driveway/porch stairs handing out candy….me and my fucking cane and the blanket to help keep my knee and hip warm.
🫩

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 3d

a woman in a catsuit is standing in a garage

ALT: a woman in a catsuit is standing in a garage

media.tenor.com

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 3d

Even some white men are demanding more from the white male sector but they are hardheaded

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 3d

This where when I was a young, single, and obnoxious guy I would have written, “pics or it didn’t happen”…

Now: “oh.”

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 4d

Squirrel bait

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unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 4d

Counterpoint:
Explaining complex and detailed things to wife who’s type A: catch-22

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unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 4d

Did I sound flip?

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 4d

Oh….that’s good.

Now I need a word to explain how bad my private disgust with the dipshit clowns I deal with in a professional capacity

Grandiloquent Word of the Day @grandiloquentwords.bsky.social · 4d

Coulrophobia [KOHL-ruh-FOH-bee-yuh]
(n.)
- An abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns.

Example Sentence:
“From that evening forward, Johnnie suffered from what the school counselor, with professional detachment, labeled acute coulrophobia.”

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 6d

My wife has thoughts….admittedly heavy-handed NO.

“But, dear….”

“What did I just say?”

“But…”

“Don’t make me use English…”

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 6d

I hope this isn’t a one-off

unhip semi-old fart with a bad hip @canglong333.bsky.social · 6d

With a name like his, you know it better be bad…