William 🧿 Kuechenberg
@cinemasicko.bsky.social
High-Concept, Lowbrow! Nicholl Top 50. Repped at Bohemia Group. Former Ha-Ha Man at Cracked. TV and feature writer looking for work.
*Dignified professor whose valise has just popped open, scattering his papers to the winds:* MY CURRICULA!!!
December 4, 2025 at 8:23 PM
*Dignified professor whose valise has just popped open, scattering his papers to the winds:* MY CURRICULA!!!
Donald Trump looked disgusting — scalp protruding— in his bone-colored hair before the Oval Office. Very very disrespectful.
December 4, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Donald Trump looked disgusting — scalp protruding— in his bone-colored hair before the Oval Office. Very very disrespectful.
I read this book in HS after hearing that Modest Mouse’s song King Rat, which rules, was inspired by this book and therefore, I reasoned, the book must also rule.
Transitive property stays winning, this book does indeed rule.
Transitive property stays winning, this book does indeed rule.
a nice companion to this is You Can't Win by Jack Black which covers his life as a hobo in the late 1800s, riding trains, going to a jail a bunch, stealing shit but living by a code about it. its great. 12 bucks on AK press with their holiday discount
www.akpress.org/youcantwin.h...
www.akpress.org/youcantwin.h...
December 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I read this book in HS after hearing that Modest Mouse’s song King Rat, which rules, was inspired by this book and therefore, I reasoned, the book must also rule.
Transitive property stays winning, this book does indeed rule.
Transitive property stays winning, this book does indeed rule.
Got CULT OF THE LAMB + all dlc for a steep discount knowing absolutely nothing about it.
So far it’s kinda incredible! Don’t know what I was expecting but HADES + ANIMAL CROSSING works surprisingly well, like peanutbutter and chocolate.
So far it’s kinda incredible! Don’t know what I was expecting but HADES + ANIMAL CROSSING works surprisingly well, like peanutbutter and chocolate.
December 4, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Got CULT OF THE LAMB + all dlc for a steep discount knowing absolutely nothing about it.
So far it’s kinda incredible! Don’t know what I was expecting but HADES + ANIMAL CROSSING works surprisingly well, like peanutbutter and chocolate.
So far it’s kinda incredible! Don’t know what I was expecting but HADES + ANIMAL CROSSING works surprisingly well, like peanutbutter and chocolate.
Ride n grind*
*smoke weed, drink tea, and meditate
*smoke weed, drink tea, and meditate
December 4, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Ride n grind*
*smoke weed, drink tea, and meditate
*smoke weed, drink tea, and meditate
Reposted by William 🧿 Kuechenberg
Bible???? I don't think so! I only read STRAIGHTble! HELLOOOO it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve or Steve!
December 4, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Bible???? I don't think so! I only read STRAIGHTble! HELLOOOO it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve or Steve!
Nobody in Hollywood cares what’s on your CV except for the “references” part.
December 3, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Nobody in Hollywood cares what’s on your CV except for the “references” part.
Next time I visit my aunt in Arizona I’m bringing raw hamburger, a big box propped up with a stick, and a string.
Motion-activated trail cameras in southeastern Arizona captured pictures last month of a new, never-before-seen jaguar, according to the University of Arizona Wild Cat Research and Conservation Center.
Remote cameras catch another new jaguar in Arizona
Motion-activated trail cameras in southeastern Arizona captured pictures last month of a new, never-before-seen jaguar, according to the University of Arizona Wild Cat Research and Conservation Center.
tucson.com
December 3, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Next time I visit my aunt in Arizona I’m bringing raw hamburger, a big box propped up with a stick, and a string.
Reposted by William 🧿 Kuechenberg
Selling all my worldly possessions to focus solely on my tunnelling expeditions
December 3, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Selling all my worldly possessions to focus solely on my tunnelling expeditions
Spotify not pulling any punches this year.
December 3, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Spotify not pulling any punches this year.
Scored these bad boys for two bucks each at the Valley Value thrift store, so yeah, things are turnin around for Ol Sweet William.
December 3, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Scored these bad boys for two bucks each at the Valley Value thrift store, so yeah, things are turnin around for Ol Sweet William.
I consider myself something of a fajita expert and so far Tequilas is the best value:quality ratio in LA imo.
December 3, 2025 at 2:50 AM
I consider myself something of a fajita expert and so far Tequilas is the best value:quality ratio in LA imo.
Reposted by William 🧿 Kuechenberg
We're hosting an emergency fundraiser to help fund a kidney procedure, this account is ran by someone in the US and is currently uninsured and we need help. Currently we're $13.2k away from meeting our goal
Thank you all for the support so far, we're getting close to avoid debt!
gofund.me/16ef32cb1
Thank you all for the support so far, we're getting close to avoid debt!
gofund.me/16ef32cb1
December 2, 2025 at 2:53 PM
We're hosting an emergency fundraiser to help fund a kidney procedure, this account is ran by someone in the US and is currently uninsured and we need help. Currently we're $13.2k away from meeting our goal
Thank you all for the support so far, we're getting close to avoid debt!
gofund.me/16ef32cb1
Thank you all for the support so far, we're getting close to avoid debt!
gofund.me/16ef32cb1
Reposted by William 🧿 Kuechenberg
He seems to be constantly fighting 'wokeness' these days...
December 2, 2025 at 7:06 PM
He seems to be constantly fighting 'wokeness' these days...
Weird thing I wasn’t expecting about getting into shape is that now at the slightest physical exertion my body is like “okay chief, message received, now activating Mad Catz Turbomode” and I’ll start sweating buckets while, like, putting away the dishes.
December 2, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Weird thing I wasn’t expecting about getting into shape is that now at the slightest physical exertion my body is like “okay chief, message received, now activating Mad Catz Turbomode” and I’ll start sweating buckets while, like, putting away the dishes.
Reposted by William 🧿 Kuechenberg
It will be even more surreal when he stops attending because he's mad about the optics of dozing off, and they have to have the meetings anyway, performing their weird drooling obsequence competition to his gilded bust installed in the middle of the table
December 2, 2025 at 7:13 PM
It will be even more surreal when he stops attending because he's mad about the optics of dozing off, and they have to have the meetings anyway, performing their weird drooling obsequence competition to his gilded bust installed in the middle of the table
Got to the “big twist” in HADES 2 and I know everyone is media illiterate now but I am begging writers of all kinds to stop giving away the twist as the literal first thing we learn.
December 2, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Got to the “big twist” in HADES 2 and I know everyone is media illiterate now but I am begging writers of all kinds to stop giving away the twist as the literal first thing we learn.
Threw on IT’S FLORIDA, MAN expecting something silly to watch with lunch a la DRUNK HISTORY but instead got a stunning Coen Bros. style surrealist farce about redemption and the irrepressible human spirit?????
December 2, 2025 at 6:30 AM
Threw on IT’S FLORIDA, MAN expecting something silly to watch with lunch a la DRUNK HISTORY but instead got a stunning Coen Bros. style surrealist farce about redemption and the irrepressible human spirit?????
Absolutely wild find at the thrift store yesterday for a buck. Honesty they shouldn’t ever sell QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER anywhere else.
(Photo framed carefully to show I also have good taste)
(Photo framed carefully to show I also have good taste)
December 1, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Absolutely wild find at the thrift store yesterday for a buck. Honesty they shouldn’t ever sell QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER anywhere else.
(Photo framed carefully to show I also have good taste)
(Photo framed carefully to show I also have good taste)
Made an Insta because I had to in order to apply to the Rocky cast.
Anyway I’m fire.thief on there but don’t follow me there unless you’re okay with really sporadic posting and male nudity.
Anyway I’m fire.thief on there but don’t follow me there unless you’re okay with really sporadic posting and male nudity.
December 1, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Made an Insta because I had to in order to apply to the Rocky cast.
Anyway I’m fire.thief on there but don’t follow me there unless you’re okay with really sporadic posting and male nudity.
Anyway I’m fire.thief on there but don’t follow me there unless you’re okay with really sporadic posting and male nudity.
This ACHEWOOD exchange has been permanently rattling around in my head like a spare locking lugnut in a glovebox for almost two decades now.
December 1, 2025 at 9:31 PM
This ACHEWOOD exchange has been permanently rattling around in my head like a spare locking lugnut in a glovebox for almost two decades now.
Had a pal in HS who, when he was born, his parents flipped a coin: if his mom won he’d be named for her grandfather (first & last name), and if his dad won he’d take his dad’s name.
His mom won so his last name was, no joke, Semen.
Had his dad won? His name would’ve been Gary Gamble.
His mom won so his last name was, no joke, Semen.
Had his dad won? His name would’ve been Gary Gamble.
December 1, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Had a pal in HS who, when he was born, his parents flipped a coin: if his mom won he’d be named for her grandfather (first & last name), and if his dad won he’d take his dad’s name.
His mom won so his last name was, no joke, Semen.
Had his dad won? His name would’ve been Gary Gamble.
His mom won so his last name was, no joke, Semen.
Had his dad won? His name would’ve been Gary Gamble.
Reposted by William 🧿 Kuechenberg
Start your week with Prince smoking the While My Guitar Gently Weeps solo
December 1, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Start your week with Prince smoking the While My Guitar Gently Weeps solo
The therapy-speak in HADES II is so, so, so tacky.
December 1, 2025 at 7:00 AM
The therapy-speak in HADES II is so, so, so tacky.
Went to Rocky last night and few like I’ve visited the Fountains of Youth.
Gotta get this back in to my life.
Gotta get this back in to my life.
November 30, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Went to Rocky last night and few like I’ve visited the Fountains of Youth.
Gotta get this back in to my life.
Gotta get this back in to my life.