Claire Luisa
@claireluisabiz.bsky.social
retired rapper. m’lady/my liege
🎤🧚🏼♀️🇵🇭🌴🐕 🪷🏳️🌈🔮💅🏼🎙️♊️🏹🪴🧋🍉
instagram.com/claireluisabiz <- comedy or something
🎤🧚🏼♀️🇵🇭🌴🐕 🪷🏳️🌈🔮💅🏼🎙️♊️🏹🪴🧋🍉
instagram.com/claireluisabiz <- comedy or something
Pinned
(I regret to inform you that I’ve been sucked in by Threads, which is terrible but less boring, if you’re so inclined I’m the same handle there)
May 9, 2025 at 4:15 PM
(I regret to inform you that I’ve been sucked in by Threads, which is terrible but less boring, if you’re so inclined I’m the same handle there)
do Philly people in LA call it “Vawns”?
May 9, 2025 at 4:15 PM
do Philly people in LA call it “Vawns”?
I forgot I was on here but peep these (I just applied decals didn’t paint those details—but I absolutely could)
Shout out to @claireluisabiz.bsky.social for getting my nails right for Luigichella. I'm going to present my nails to the judge, then she will set Luigi free, we will all get universal healthcare and a free Nintendo Switch 2!
May 9, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I forgot I was on here but peep these (I just applied decals didn’t paint those details—but I absolutely could)
I also cannot stop thinking about this beaut 🥹
Still thinking about this dog/alligator guy from the “Alligator Art” section at the Great American Alligator Museum in New Orleans.
March 5, 2025 at 10:00 PM
I also cannot stop thinking about this beaut 🥹
eating a slice of king cake is like taking a pregnancy test—if you get the baby you’re going to have to spend some money
March 4, 2025 at 5:54 PM
eating a slice of king cake is like taking a pregnancy test—if you get the baby you’re going to have to spend some money
any minute now there will be a Pope Francis horny emoji chain text and also a post about how we should all test our drugs
February 22, 2025 at 8:48 PM
any minute now there will be a Pope Francis horny emoji chain text and also a post about how we should all test our drugs
Honey, she’s Asian! Why are you surprised??
February 21, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Honey, she’s Asian! Why are you surprised??
RIP Laura Gilpin, you would have loved the anglerfish who swam to the surface
February 15, 2025 at 8:47 PM
RIP Laura Gilpin, you would have loved the anglerfish who swam to the surface
don’t forget Situationship Saturday tomorrow! the candy will be on sale!!!
February 14, 2025 at 5:16 PM
don’t forget Situationship Saturday tomorrow! the candy will be on sale!!!
I’m once again kinda bored here unless it’s news stories, I’m all but off Tw!t bc I have some faves on there who aren’t anywhere else. And Threads weirdly got a lot better? Funnier and less mean?? Though it’s still part of the evil M3t@ that I also can’t quit!! So I’m kinda over there, same handle 🙃
January 31, 2025 at 7:18 PM
I’m once again kinda bored here unless it’s news stories, I’m all but off Tw!t bc I have some faves on there who aren’t anywhere else. And Threads weirdly got a lot better? Funnier and less mean?? Though it’s still part of the evil M3t@ that I also can’t quit!! So I’m kinda over there, same handle 🙃
Reposted by Claire Luisa
Reposted by Claire Luisa
At an estimated $160 billion, the total estimated economic loss of the fire damage in LA is still dwarfed by Elon’s net worth. He could rebuild the whole city and still be one of the richest people on earth. I say we eat him.
January 11, 2025 at 7:21 AM
At an estimated $160 billion, the total estimated economic loss of the fire damage in LA is still dwarfed by Elon’s net worth. He could rebuild the whole city and still be one of the richest people on earth. I say we eat him.
the Palisades fire from my office way across town
January 7, 2025 at 11:16 PM
the Palisades fire from my office way across town
go off, polyandrous queen
December 27, 2024 at 5:37 PM
go off, polyandrous queen
Reposted by Claire Luisa
“Can you explain this gap in your resume?”
“Yes that’s when late-stage capitalism failed me”
“Yes that’s when late-stage capitalism failed me”
December 24, 2024 at 12:47 AM
“Can you explain this gap in your resume?”
“Yes that’s when late-stage capitalism failed me”
“Yes that’s when late-stage capitalism failed me”
me: asks for advice from randos
rando who is qualified to give the advice :::does so in a condescending tone and also doesn’t read my original query close enough to understand what I’m asking:::
rando who is qualified to give the advice :::does so in a condescending tone and also doesn’t read my original query close enough to understand what I’m asking:::
December 21, 2024 at 7:31 PM
me: asks for advice from randos
rando who is qualified to give the advice :::does so in a condescending tone and also doesn’t read my original query close enough to understand what I’m asking:::
rando who is qualified to give the advice :::does so in a condescending tone and also doesn’t read my original query close enough to understand what I’m asking:::
Reposted by Claire Luisa
A voodoo doll but you only do nice cute things to it like giving it a tiny little massage.
December 21, 2024 at 5:19 PM
A voodoo doll but you only do nice cute things to it like giving it a tiny little massage.
medicated #ADHD hotties and other speed freaks, does anyone have experience with #Rhabdomyolysis ? medlineplus.gov/ency/article... #adhdsky
Rhabdomyolysis: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia
Rhabdomyolysis is the breakdown of muscle tissue that leads to the release of muscle fiber contents into the blood. These substances are harmful to the kidney and often cause kidney damage.
medlineplus.gov
December 21, 2024 at 6:15 PM
medicated #ADHD hotties and other speed freaks, does anyone have experience with #Rhabdomyolysis ? medlineplus.gov/ency/article... #adhdsky
this happens to me when I’m reading ingredients labels and see food coloring names 😩
Oh no I just started watching Juror #2 but it got the song Mambo #5 stuck in my head.
December 21, 2024 at 12:15 AM
this happens to me when I’m reading ingredients labels and see food coloring names 😩
It’s a Yesferatu for me, dawg
December 20, 2024 at 7:18 PM
It’s a Yesferatu for me, dawg
companies who do holiday parties at ~fancy~ pizza places are either troIIing or clueless
December 18, 2024 at 6:24 PM
companies who do holiday parties at ~fancy~ pizza places are either troIIing or clueless
slangin’ plantidepressants at the company craft fair (they sold out in 1/2 an hour :)
December 17, 2024 at 9:02 PM
slangin’ plantidepressants at the company craft fair (they sold out in 1/2 an hour :)
How people can just not mask in HOSPITALS is wild to me
December 15, 2024 at 10:08 PM
How people can just not mask in HOSPITALS is wild to me
the internet can be an ugly and terrible place but once every six months the Two-Headed Calf poem comes across your feed so now you’re sad for a different but beautiful reason
December 13, 2024 at 6:08 PM
the internet can be an ugly and terrible place but once every six months the Two-Headed Calf poem comes across your feed so now you’re sad for a different but beautiful reason
no disrespect but I keep reading about his back condition and thinking
December 12, 2024 at 11:56 PM
no disrespect but I keep reading about his back condition and thinking