Pablo Naruto
@coffinzone.bsky.social
Not so much mysterious as poorly documented
🎵 Postin' pig poop balls, what a way to make a living 🎵
January 21, 2026 at 8:57 AM
🎵 Postin' pig poop balls, what a way to make a living 🎵
A long-running bit of mine is putting on my best David Attenborough impression and describing the life cycle of the North American Jerking Vulture
January 17, 2026 at 10:21 PM
A long-running bit of mine is putting on my best David Attenborough impression and describing the life cycle of the North American Jerking Vulture
It's been many years at this point but I'll always hold the Oconee in my heart or possibly one of the filter organs
My favorite Twitter prompt was "RT this with your home river," so reskeet this with your home river.
Mine is the Patuxent.
Mine is the Patuxent.
January 13, 2026 at 12:40 AM
It's been many years at this point but I'll always hold the Oconee in my heart or possibly one of the filter organs
Some days you just gotta fuck around and get Korean food by yourself at 10pm
January 8, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Some days you just gotta fuck around and get Korean food by yourself at 10pm
My kidneys have been replaced by a pachinko machine in jackpot mode
January 7, 2026 at 6:27 PM
My kidneys have been replaced by a pachinko machine in jackpot mode
fuck/marry/kill rum sodomy and the lash
January 7, 2026 at 12:23 AM
fuck/marry/kill rum sodomy and the lash
Based on my existing sample 2026 is the year of extremely dumb self injury
January 6, 2026 at 5:17 AM
Based on my existing sample 2026 is the year of extremely dumb self injury
Reposted by Pablo Naruto
They say 1 in 6 people with a gambling addiction will attempt suicide... I like those odds
January 1, 2026 at 9:17 AM
They say 1 in 6 people with a gambling addiction will attempt suicide... I like those odds
My new year's resolution is to become a grizzled swordsmith living in the mountains who forges an unparalleled blade for someone else's quest for vengeance
January 1, 2026 at 7:50 AM
My new year's resolution is to become a grizzled swordsmith living in the mountains who forges an unparalleled blade for someone else's quest for vengeance
This is the year I get even weirder and more reclusive
January 1, 2026 at 7:48 AM
This is the year I get even weirder and more reclusive
Starting the year off right: sitting in a hospital waiting room after cutting the tip off my thumb
January 1, 2026 at 2:15 AM
Starting the year off right: sitting in a hospital waiting room after cutting the tip off my thumb
This offers still on the table if anyone's interested
If allowed free rein over the company, I pledge to cut OpenAI's losses by 90 percent in the coming year by shutting down all operations and giving myself 500 million dollars
OpenAI is losing money on its pricey ChatGPT Pro plan, CEO Sam Altman says
December 30, 2025 at 4:10 PM
This offers still on the table if anyone's interested
Just had a glass spontaneously shatter in my hand, how's your day going
December 29, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Just had a glass spontaneously shatter in my hand, how's your day going
"You look like Tor Johnson in an Elvis wig"
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 27, 2025 at 2:58 AM
"You look like Tor Johnson in an Elvis wig"
Pippi Gangstalking
December 23, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Pippi Gangstalking
(Redman voice) time for some night meat
December 14, 2025 at 1:52 AM
(Redman voice) time for some night meat
Nothing quite like getting hit in the ribs with your own full weight to take the wind out of your sails
December 13, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Nothing quite like getting hit in the ribs with your own full weight to take the wind out of your sails
Inventing a series of increasingly annoying chess houserules
December 7, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Inventing a series of increasingly annoying chess houserules
The infamous two beer hangover
December 4, 2025 at 9:26 AM
The infamous two beer hangover
Men will literally cruise the seas for American gold instead of firing guns, shedding tears, or going to therapy
November 21, 2025 at 10:17 AM
Men will literally cruise the seas for American gold instead of firing guns, shedding tears, or going to therapy
Reposted by Pablo Naruto
Olivia Nuzzi watching Cocoon with a towel on the bed
November 18, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Olivia Nuzzi watching Cocoon with a towel on the bed