crimesididntcommit🏳️⚧️
@crimesididntcommit.bsky.social
mdni. musician, thought leader, brand ambassador for a little thing called “having a good time”
music + ticket links here:
https://linktr.ee/crimesididntcommit
music + ticket links here:
https://linktr.ee/crimesididntcommit
Pinned
my new album Made to Fade is out everywhere now. buy it on bandcamp or stream on the evil service of your choosing, i hope you love it 💚 12 songs of angst, self-hauntings, regrets and trans becoming.
crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com/album/made-t...
crimesididntcommit.bandcamp.com/album/made-t...
i’m tired of being trapped inside of a magical bottle for hundreds of years
January 13, 2026 at 8:38 PM
i’m tired of being trapped inside of a magical bottle for hundreds of years
i can’t believe the creator of dildo died. say what you will about his politics later in life bur that man’s creation has touched almost everyone’s lives
January 13, 2026 at 8:35 PM
i can’t believe the creator of dildo died. say what you will about his politics later in life bur that man’s creation has touched almost everyone’s lives
the revived corpse of jerry springer will be fighting me in a skyscraper rooftop boxing match for one night only, the broadcast beamed into outer space
January 13, 2026 at 8:17 PM
the revived corpse of jerry springer will be fighting me in a skyscraper rooftop boxing match for one night only, the broadcast beamed into outer space
i’m bathing in bleach in the backyard in the dark
January 13, 2026 at 6:55 AM
i’m bathing in bleach in the backyard in the dark
i frequently find myself sprinting through laser tag halls chased by a giant claw machine arm overhead
January 13, 2026 at 5:31 AM
i frequently find myself sprinting through laser tag halls chased by a giant claw machine arm overhead
man i love depeche mode
January 13, 2026 at 5:00 AM
man i love depeche mode
if i was sent through the jennifer hudson spirit tunnel i would end up arrested and on the news
January 13, 2026 at 2:28 AM
if i was sent through the jennifer hudson spirit tunnel i would end up arrested and on the news
the cusp is one of my favorite things to be on
January 13, 2026 at 2:25 AM
the cusp is one of my favorite things to be on
you think dan soder and jon hamm ever call each other on the phone and get confused because they sound identical and think the other person is just their evil twin
January 13, 2026 at 2:21 AM
you think dan soder and jon hamm ever call each other on the phone and get confused because they sound identical and think the other person is just their evil twin
i carry the deep burden of him being my favorite novelist ever, it’s astonishing how much he sucks and it’s insane that his meth-addicted twink boyfriend got him into the right wing podcast griftosphere
January 13, 2026 at 2:10 AM
i carry the deep burden of him being my favorite novelist ever, it’s astonishing how much he sucks and it’s insane that his meth-addicted twink boyfriend got him into the right wing podcast griftosphere
i’ve always felt that this poster was designed to repel every single person on the planet except for specifically me. i’m the exact one soul lured in by it
January 13, 2026 at 2:08 AM
i’ve always felt that this poster was designed to repel every single person on the planet except for specifically me. i’m the exact one soul lured in by it
i genuinely think a woman doing such a great job at directing american psycho permanently damaged bret easton ellis’s brain lol
January 13, 2026 at 1:59 AM
i genuinely think a woman doing such a great job at directing american psycho permanently damaged bret easton ellis’s brain lol
there’s a new aldi where i live with an absurdly oversized sign for how small the place is and i felt like the willem meme walking up
January 13, 2026 at 12:36 AM
there’s a new aldi where i live with an absurdly oversized sign for how small the place is and i felt like the willem meme walking up
an ocean,
of feelings,
does bathe
of feelings,
does bathe
January 12, 2026 at 11:15 PM
an ocean,
of feelings,
does bathe
of feelings,
does bathe
i had a dream the other night where i was watching a movie with michael douglas from 90s hunting a serial killer and the camera zoomed in on him dramatically and he went “he’s in the tunnels!!!” and i wish i could see the rest so bad
January 12, 2026 at 11:02 PM
i had a dream the other night where i was watching a movie with michael douglas from 90s hunting a serial killer and the camera zoomed in on him dramatically and he went “he’s in the tunnels!!!” and i wish i could see the rest so bad
john wick sucking rival gay assassins off at an alarmingly fast rate, he’s dodging mouths as they try to suck him off first, he’s gaining leverage in grapple fights and going down on 10 guys in cumproof suits at once, he’s paying for prep with a single special coin, it’s wild
January 12, 2026 at 11:01 PM
john wick sucking rival gay assassins off at an alarmingly fast rate, he’s dodging mouths as they try to suck him off first, he’s gaining leverage in grapple fights and going down on 10 guys in cumproof suits at once, he’s paying for prep with a single special coin, it’s wild
benicio del toro is getting roadhead from leo while sipping a modello, leo is in the bathrobe getting sucked off while arguing with the read theory nerd on the phone, sean penn is trying to become a member of a men’s club where they just blow each other all day long in that little hidden room
January 12, 2026 at 10:38 PM
benicio del toro is getting roadhead from leo while sipping a modello, leo is in the bathrobe getting sucked off while arguing with the read theory nerd on the phone, sean penn is trying to become a member of a men’s club where they just blow each other all day long in that little hidden room
i hope they do one blowjob after another next
January 12, 2026 at 10:36 PM
i hope they do one blowjob after another next
seeing a band i’ve played with post an ai vid of themselves on their insta and wishing i could travel back in time to stop the invention of the computer
January 12, 2026 at 8:38 PM
seeing a band i’ve played with post an ai vid of themselves on their insta and wishing i could travel back in time to stop the invention of the computer
i might just watch the ice episode and no others because i am so desperate to see how out of touch and bad it must be lol
January 12, 2026 at 8:37 PM
i might just watch the ice episode and no others because i am so desperate to see how out of touch and bad it must be lol
perfect date idea: we listen to all of turn on the bright lights by interpol and say nothing and then you go home
January 12, 2026 at 8:32 PM
perfect date idea: we listen to all of turn on the bright lights by interpol and say nothing and then you go home
doing borat voice while weeping
January 12, 2026 at 8:25 PM
doing borat voice while weeping
a full year of persistence. it’s incredible
January 12, 2026 at 8:16 PM
a full year of persistence. it’s incredible
him and toni both were doing something in that movie that i could never possibly explain to anyone on earth. it was like they were replaced with aliens on set
January 12, 2026 at 8:12 PM
him and toni both were doing something in that movie that i could never possibly explain to anyone on earth. it was like they were replaced with aliens on set
i’ve had an obscure barry manilow song stuck in my head all day. so it’s a great day
January 12, 2026 at 8:01 PM
i’ve had an obscure barry manilow song stuck in my head all day. so it’s a great day