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Oliver Darkshire

@deathbybadger.bsky.social

6.6K followers 270 following 1.4K posts

dire homosexual 🏳️‍🌈 - ONCE UPON A TOME [2022] 📚 - ISABELLA NAGG AND THE POT OF BASIL [2025] 🪴- One Page RPGS 🎲 (www.patreon.com/deathbybadger) - 🏠 Manchester, UK https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 12d

some exciting news: another book! announcing The Devil and Mrs Gooch, a fantasy in which our capricious friend The Devil falls head over hoof for dread entrepreneur Gwendolyn Gooch, and her latest diabolical scheme: the rented apartment. expect torrid results. releasing USA May 2026 from W.W. Norton

cover for The Devil and Mrs Gooch, by Oliver Darkshire, featuring a woman in a flaming ballgown leading a caprine devil by a leash, who stares up at her in adoration. Marked "Household Gramarye Book 2"

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 4h

this is *exactly* how that conversation goes down

Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 4h

when someone says "my dice are cursed" you sort of have to agree with them because if you say "marius you are a grown man and I know you know that's not how probability works" they won't say anything but they'll treat you like you are in league with the cursed dice

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 20h

you in god mode is the stuff of legends
ancient hero myth stuff
complete with terrible curse etc

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

my party is just 30 self replicating chocobos and I can't make them stop. why can't they all be gay this would solve all my problems

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

I was about to tweet "does anybody know how to stop breeding chocobos" but then I remembered 1/1000th of my feed is final fantasy nerds and 1/10th is problematic furries so I decided not to cause a diplomatic incident

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

I have no complaints

Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

look kids it's gay venom

...is he eating that man or

ok everyone look away, gay venom is busy

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

I'd make a great therapist because I'd just be like "molly, babes, you need to fucking kill him, don't take any more of his shit girl okay that's our 7 minutes! I'll see you in 6 months, there's free drugs in the bowl help yourself"

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

(me, with several respectable qualifications in counseling, halfway into your fifth session) *removes my glasses* you seem like a complicated person with many feelings

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 1d

I have no idea how to respond to this that doesn't seem flippant because it feels like something I should not be flippant about

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 2d

I am playing the Final Fantasy Tactics remake and maybe games were just weirder in 1997, but I was browsing the weapon store and alongside fire knife and bronze shield I present to you The Stick That Turns People Atheist

a screencap from Final Fantasy Tactics, from the store, showing Gokuu's Pole, which 'when attacking, has a chance of granting Atheist"

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

the chart can be cruel but yes we do

Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

I would love to get into this, but I simply do not have the spiritual energy, I am an elderly husk who has survived too many wars online, I pray for the vitality of my youth

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

this checks out

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

now I'm just wondering how many barbarians you have to kill before you get exiled from the golden retriever part of the graph

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

hard to say until one has a person at the table, but I have my suspicions

Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

oh, the players for sure

Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

which is exactly the reason it would be fun not to tell youu

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 3d

I had to put together this chart to explain to one of my D&D groups how I categorize new players but I feel it actually has broader utility

a chart with 2 axis - one for golden retriever across to yeen, and another for himbo down to demon twink

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 4d

you would not believe the arguments I've had over this, the thing that I literally wrote with my hands

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 4d

unfortunately there is no way to be so crystal clear that someone can't wilfully misinterpret you, the moment you put pen to paper to say "weekends are great" you almost guarantee that someone is going to come at you 10 years later screaming "you said paprika vampires are real so I killed my uncle"

Paul Haine @paulhaine.bsky.social · 4d

Kemi Badenoch claiming Terry Pratchett as her favourite author is wild

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 4d

2004: wow social media keep in touch with your friends online

2026: you are about to be held accountable by a 14 year old for a passive aggressive email you sent in 1991. overhead, vultures drift in lazy circles

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 8d

"proboscidean" youd think I was being paid by the character wouldn't you

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Oliver Darkshire @deathbybadger.bsky.social · 8d

I usually forget about my one page rpgs about 3 hours after posting them so occasionally one comes back like a boomerang to hit me in the face and I'm like I have no recollection of this creation

lorem ipsum 🇧🇷🇺🇸 @whiskeynachos.bsky.social · 8d

I used to use this on Twitter before I came here.

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Reposted by Oliver Darkshire

Az @amisamileandme.bsky.social · 8d

I DID use mastodon for a bit and may yet in the future. But @deathbybadger.bsky.social is nevertheless correct

lorem ipsum 🇧🇷🇺🇸 @whiskeynachos.bsky.social · 8d

I used to use this on Twitter before I came here.

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