Oliver Darkshire
@deathbybadger.bsky.social
dire homosexual 🏳️🌈 - ONCE UPON A TOME [2022] 📚 - ISABELLA NAGG AND THE POT OF BASIL [2025] 🪴- One Page RPGS 🎲 (www.patreon.com/deathbybadger) - 🏠 Manchester, UK
https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire
https://linktr.ee/oliverdarkshire
Pinned
some exciting news: another book! announcing The Devil and Mrs Gooch, a fantasy in which our capricious friend The Devil falls head over hoof for dread entrepreneur Gwendolyn Gooch, and her latest diabolical scheme: the rented apartment. expect torrid results. releasing USA May 2026 from W.W. Norton
me and my Friend, who I touch lightly on the waist yet firmly on the shoulder, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his ear (as friends do)
“Two Friends” [1926] at Städel Museum, Frankfurt Germany, by Karl Hofer
November 25, 2025 at 12:33 PM
me and my Friend, who I touch lightly on the waist yet firmly on the shoulder, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his ear (as friends do)
there is a tabletop rpg I really enjoy called bluebeards bride and the setup is quite easy, all you will need is some six sided dice, a copy of the book, a free evening, and 5 men you want to irrevocably traumatize
November 25, 2025 at 9:38 AM
there is a tabletop rpg I really enjoy called bluebeards bride and the setup is quite easy, all you will need is some six sided dice, a copy of the book, a free evening, and 5 men you want to irrevocably traumatize
the first wave of gay book smut has arrived and honestly I'd forgotten how entertaining written pornography can be, we should never have given this up for video. (no-one call or talk to me, daddy is busy doing research)
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
November 23, 2025 at 8:30 AM
the first wave of gay book smut has arrived and honestly I'd forgotten how entertaining written pornography can be, we should never have given this up for video. (no-one call or talk to me, daddy is busy doing research)
EVIL VIZIER (writing a diary): events in the capital are proceeding apace
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
November 22, 2025 at 9:00 AM
EVIL VIZIER (writing a diary): events in the capital are proceeding apace
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
KING (from the next room): king want cake. cake now. cake. yum yum.
EVIL VIZIER (scribbling): the complexity of the political situation at court continues to thwart my ambitions
zeus:
what if instead of working i just became a bird today
November 21, 2025 at 10:41 AM
zeus:
fiyero they're lesbians leave them ALONE
my favourite part of WICKED 2 was when they got to the song about Fucking and she pulled on the most enormous and thick sweater blanket you've ever seen
November 21, 2025 at 7:53 AM
fiyero they're lesbians leave them ALONE
ME: we have to defeat Bumshite the Lich, for he holds the rod of Inserting and Uninserting, the kingdoms are in grave danger
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
I fully do not understand people who enjoy shopping in TTRPGs. I can go shopping in real life. The mall is right there and I have the entire internet on my phone. Why would I also go shopping in a fictional world? That's a chore! I don't want chores, I want adventure and drama.
November 20, 2025 at 5:42 PM
ME: we have to defeat Bumshite the Lich, for he holds the rod of Inserting and Uninserting, the kingdoms are in grave danger
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
PLAYERS: okay. feels a bit unambitious. if we have to.
ME: ugh I suppose, if you REALLY want, we can also (sigh) go dress shopping on the way
PLAYERS: can we skip the lich
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
November 20, 2025 at 10:03 AM
I am on a book hunt for
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
well written sex scenes between two men
written by a man
but I am coming up with the same 5 books I've already read, and tomb dust. how is this possible. (and no, I don't need a romance, I need devastating smut)
ARTHUR: so you put the sword in the stone, that I might pull it out and be king
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
November 19, 2025 at 5:20 PM
ARTHUR: so you put the sword in the stone, that I might pull it out and be king
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
MERLIN: yes it was quite the jape
ARTHUR: and you turned me into a fish
MERLIN: hilarious
ARTHUR: merlin I need you to be more serious
MERLIN: your best friend is fucking your wife
ARTHUR: less serious than that
SWEET TERRA FIRMA
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
November 18, 2025 at 6:51 AM
SWEET TERRA FIRMA
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
BLESSED LANDFALL
humans should not be in the sky or on the seas
I am dirt mammal
I crave the soil
one thing I have learned on this trip is that if you ask for food in a way they don't approve of the Italians will literally ignore you and make it the way they think you should like it, which is very funny and I regret to say they were in every case correct
November 17, 2025 at 5:17 PM
one thing I have learned on this trip is that if you ask for food in a way they don't approve of the Italians will literally ignore you and make it the way they think you should like it, which is very funny and I regret to say they were in every case correct
do you think it's anti-romantasy as in counteracting like antifreeze, or in reverse like anticlockwise or opposed to like antisocial, or tiny food like antipasto
This week, I was sent a proof from one of the big publishers. In their pack, they described it as an "anti romantasy".
An anti romantasy.
I have so many thoughts about this, I honestly don't know where to begin.
An anti romantasy.
I have so many thoughts about this, I honestly don't know where to begin.
November 17, 2025 at 10:49 AM
do you think it's anti-romantasy as in counteracting like antifreeze, or in reverse like anticlockwise or opposed to like antisocial, or tiny food like antipasto
I was ambushed by a booktoker and unfortunately if I am surprised I default to candour so I think they asked what author I disliked and I was like well ayn rand can burn in hell but now I worry I misheard the question
November 16, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I was ambushed by a booktoker and unfortunately if I am surprised I default to candour so I think they asked what author I disliked and I was like well ayn rand can burn in hell but now I worry I misheard the question
Imagine challenging a god to anything in ancient greece, you'd be like "hey Apollo I bet you I'm more skilled at the flute" and he'd be like okay if you win I turn you into a goat and if you lose I will chase you randily for miles and then also turn you into a goat
November 16, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Imagine challenging a god to anything in ancient greece, you'd be like "hey Apollo I bet you I'm more skilled at the flute" and he'd be like okay if you win I turn you into a goat and if you lose I will chase you randily for miles and then also turn you into a goat
being an englishman in europe comes with unique complications such as "how do I make this machine of nozzles that only spits out coffee and nonsense dispense hot water for the dusty teabags I located on that shelf" as everyone looks on in bemused horror
November 16, 2025 at 8:45 AM
being an englishman in europe comes with unique complications such as "how do I make this machine of nozzles that only spits out coffee and nonsense dispense hot water for the dusty teabags I located on that shelf" as everyone looks on in bemused horror
I have arrived in Italy and I regret to report everyone is gorgeous, insane face cards flying around for zero reason, even the twink at the hotel desk is hot, what is in the water in this country, I feel like an english troll from under a bridge
November 14, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I have arrived in Italy and I regret to report everyone is gorgeous, insane face cards flying around for zero reason, even the twink at the hotel desk is hot, what is in the water in this country, I feel like an english troll from under a bridge
woe to us, who witness the screaming airport baby. screaming airport baby cannot be reasoned with. it cannot comprehend the suffering it inflicts. it is a phenomenon. a spirit of chaos sent to test us in troubled times. screaming airport baby what omens do you bring
November 14, 2025 at 3:02 PM
woe to us, who witness the screaming airport baby. screaming airport baby cannot be reasoned with. it cannot comprehend the suffering it inflicts. it is a phenomenon. a spirit of chaos sent to test us in troubled times. screaming airport baby what omens do you bring
I feel about planes how geralt of rivia feels about portals, yes they may be faster but you are tampering with unholy forces, man was not meant to travel this way, we moved on too quickly from travel by horse
November 14, 2025 at 12:36 PM
I feel about planes how geralt of rivia feels about portals, yes they may be faster but you are tampering with unholy forces, man was not meant to travel this way, we moved on too quickly from travel by horse
someone tried to fistbump me and I missed it, it wasn't even their fault it was a stationary target, like I aimed for it but I literally missed it so then we were both standing there staring at each other like what now
November 13, 2025 at 11:18 AM
someone tried to fistbump me and I missed it, it wasn't even their fault it was a stationary target, like I aimed for it but I literally missed it so then we were both standing there staring at each other like what now
do you think you would get thrown off the traitors if you made out with another man in the betrayal garden, would claudia call the police
November 13, 2025 at 6:35 AM
do you think you would get thrown off the traitors if you made out with another man in the betrayal garden, would claudia call the police
the weavings of the fates cannot be undone by mortal hand
Found a butterfly in my accommodation so I carefully picked it and took it outside, only for a crow to immediately fly down and snatch it midair 😱
November 12, 2025 at 12:34 PM
the weavings of the fates cannot be undone by mortal hand
I watched season 4 of the witcher so you don't have to and look I usually like enjoy fantasy show sex and blood as much as the next guy, and I'm not one to use the term torture porn lightly, but a few good actors can't rescue a script ghostwritten by the marquis de sade
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I watched season 4 of the witcher so you don't have to and look I usually like enjoy fantasy show sex and blood as much as the next guy, and I'm not one to use the term torture porn lightly, but a few good actors can't rescue a script ghostwritten by the marquis de sade
fellas is it maximum alpha to be crammed into a wooden horse with fifty other sweaty guys at 1.25x speed
*maximum alpha at 1.25x speed* continuously lives on in my head, unfortunately.
November 11, 2025 at 9:03 AM
fellas is it maximum alpha to be crammed into a wooden horse with fifty other sweaty guys at 1.25x speed
GOD: what are you doing
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
is having sex with angels considered monster-fucking
kind of in a weird mood today, should we have an off piste skeet
November 10, 2025 at 2:19 PM
GOD: what are you doing
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
ANGEL: boning the humans
GOD: horniel, you have a flaming cloaca and that is a monkey, can that thing even consent, get back to work before I write you up, your nebulas are a mess
Reposted by Oliver Darkshire
❤️ Enjoyment: 5/5 | 🖋 Writing: 5/5 | 🎭 Immersion: 4/5
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
November 8, 2025 at 2:31 PM
❤️ Enjoyment: 5/5 | 🖋 Writing: 5/5 | 🎭 Immersion: 4/5
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton
Non-stop giggles at the fairytale style of the story of Isabella and hew newfound wizardry fixing everyone else's problems. I demand justice for the grimalkin!
#OliverDarkshire
#Fantasy
#Funny
#HodderAndStoughton