@distantvortex.bsky.social
When in doubt, "yes, I am being sarcastic."
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We represent the Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild
We will kidnap your children, pepper spray your priests, and shoot your mothers in the face
The Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild
We will kidnap your children, pepper spray your priests, and shoot your mothers in the face
January 22, 2026 at 12:27 AM
We represent the Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild
We will kidnap your children, pepper spray your priests, and shoot your mothers in the face
The Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild
We will kidnap your children, pepper spray your priests, and shoot your mothers in the face
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Whistleblowers just shared a memo showing DHS instructing ICE to force their way into peoples' houses without a proper warrant. Why is this not on all the networks right now? This is a criminal conspiracy to violate rights under color of law.
January 22, 2026 at 12:55 AM
Whistleblowers just shared a memo showing DHS instructing ICE to force their way into peoples' houses without a proper warrant. Why is this not on all the networks right now? This is a criminal conspiracy to violate rights under color of law.
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Orin is probably the preeminent fourth amendment scholar in the United States. He is also extremely professional. This is the way he says "I wish a bitch would try"
This DHS memorandum says that the DHS General Counsel's office has adopted a new position that the Fourth Amendment allows entry into the home to make an arrest just based on an administrative warrant.
I would like to see that argument.
documentcloud.org/documents/26...
I would like to see that argument.
documentcloud.org/documents/26...
January 22, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Orin is probably the preeminent fourth amendment scholar in the United States. He is also extremely professional. This is the way he says "I wish a bitch would try"
The best time to dismantle the right wing power structure was about "before it started" ago. The next best time is immediately.
January 13, 2026 at 1:32 AM
The best time to dismantle the right wing power structure was about "before it started" ago. The next best time is immediately.
Anybody want a little hope?
In 2023 I became obsessed with videos of dads in cargo shortswaiting in parking lots during Taylor Swift's Eras Tour. So when she came to town, I grabbed a camera and headed down to talk to them. I thought it'd be funny. It turned out to be something else entirely.
December 24, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Anybody want a little hope?
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Bari Weiss flatters the ego of a very specific sort of self-important man with wildly over-inflated senses of their own intelligence -- judgmental, conservative half-wits who view themselves as rational intellectual giants. Their admiration for Weiss is one of the easiest ways to spot them.
December 22, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Bari Weiss flatters the ego of a very specific sort of self-important man with wildly over-inflated senses of their own intelligence -- judgmental, conservative half-wits who view themselves as rational intellectual giants. Their admiration for Weiss is one of the easiest ways to spot them.
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Whether it's MAGA influencers saying "Hitler was cool" or suburban liberals putting up signs that say "we believe in science," both sides have made some provocative statements.
December 21, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Whether it's MAGA influencers saying "Hitler was cool" or suburban liberals putting up signs that say "we believe in science," both sides have made some provocative statements.
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told my landlord he no longer has to apologize for being white and he lowered my rent by 25%. told the grocer it's now the trump kennedy center and he sold me potatoes for $1. told PG&E it's a christian nation now and electricity is free. try it sometime
December 22, 2025 at 2:38 AM
told my landlord he no longer has to apologize for being white and he lowered my rent by 25%. told the grocer it's now the trump kennedy center and he sold me potatoes for $1. told PG&E it's a christian nation now and electricity is free. try it sometime
But you should apologize for being a Republican.
JD Vance: "In the United States of America you don't have to apologize for being white anymore"
December 22, 2025 at 11:43 AM
But you should apologize for being a Republican.
Finally, someone else who says, "crash like a bandicoot."
Making some taquitos for dinner (will melt cheese over)
and then crash like a bandicoot :)
Good night my amazing friends - love y'all
Snagz ✊🏽♥️🔥✌🏽💨
and then crash like a bandicoot :)
Good night my amazing friends - love y'all
Snagz ✊🏽♥️🔥✌🏽💨
December 22, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Finally, someone else who says, "crash like a bandicoot."
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So Bari Weiss’s first real editorial intervention at CBS is to repress coverage of American concentration camps.
December 22, 2025 at 3:05 AM
So Bari Weiss’s first real editorial intervention at CBS is to repress coverage of American concentration camps.
This person might consider cutting down on the quantity of crack that he dissolves in his energy drink.
Considering what's going on in the world right now ALL past favorite shows are now mute! If you're enjoying these shows at this point with the world on fire you're a moron! Waste the fucking time I can't watch any of the shows I used to love anymore because the world is on fire assholes wake up!
December 21, 2025 at 9:23 PM
This person might consider cutting down on the quantity of crack that he dissolves in his energy drink.
I wrote this a few years ago and has been disseminating it;
Trump Derangement Syndrome affects 100% of all Trump supporters. It causes them to believe, against all reason and evidence, that Trump has the intelligence, experience and temperament to execute the duties of president in any capacity.
Trump Derangement Syndrome affects 100% of all Trump supporters. It causes them to believe, against all reason and evidence, that Trump has the intelligence, experience and temperament to execute the duties of president in any capacity.
December 17, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I wrote this a few years ago and has been disseminating it;
Trump Derangement Syndrome affects 100% of all Trump supporters. It causes them to believe, against all reason and evidence, that Trump has the intelligence, experience and temperament to execute the duties of president in any capacity.
Trump Derangement Syndrome affects 100% of all Trump supporters. It causes them to believe, against all reason and evidence, that Trump has the intelligence, experience and temperament to execute the duties of president in any capacity.
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I don’t understand how a guy with 360° peripheral vision can’t catch anyone.
December 16, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I don’t understand how a guy with 360° peripheral vision can’t catch anyone.
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lmao
December 15, 2025 at 11:05 PM
lmao
I would say he's out of his depth, but I think he could drown in a cookie pan, so let's just get him out of there.
Seems like we go through this drama with Snowflake Dan every other week.
December 16, 2025 at 6:50 AM
I would say he's out of his depth, but I think he could drown in a cookie pan, so let's just get him out of there.
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Mike Johnson is proof God wants us to punch people.
December 13, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Mike Johnson is proof God wants us to punch people.
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The real lesson of Christmas is that if God had wanted to win over working-class Judeans, he should have sent down a less divisive Messiah.
December 13, 2025 at 2:12 AM
The real lesson of Christmas is that if God had wanted to win over working-class Judeans, he should have sent down a less divisive Messiah.
omfg
SCOOP — Gregg Phillips, a conspiracy theorist with no emergency management experience who helped produce the election-denying documentary ‘2000 Mules’ with Dinesh D’Souza and has faced numerous legal inquiries, has been named head of FEMA’s Office of Response and Recovery.
My story:
My story:
Conspiracy theorist election denier given FEMA’s second-most important role
Gregg Phillips will lead the Office of Response and Recovery, “the heart of what FEMA does.”
www.thehandbasket.co
December 10, 2025 at 1:27 PM
omfg
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Very shitty people who become opposed to other very shitty people are still very shitty people
LESLEY STAHL: You contributed to the toxic culture. You were out there pounding, insulting people
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: You've contributed to it as well
STAHL: I want you to respond to what you have done in terms of insulting people
MTG: I'd like for you to respond to that
December 8, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Very shitty people who become opposed to other very shitty people are still very shitty people
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The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow
December 6, 2025 at 4:29 AM
The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow
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Nuzzi is like Trump in this sense: the worst thing about America is not that someone that awful exists, the worst thing is that much of the press promotes and normalizes it for clicks.
November 27, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Nuzzi is like Trump in this sense: the worst thing about America is not that someone that awful exists, the worst thing is that much of the press promotes and normalizes it for clicks.
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No matter how long I live after we get through this dark chapter, I will never get over the immorality, the amorality, the corruption, the criminality and the cruelty in service to one of the worst humans to ever walk the earth.
November 26, 2025 at 1:13 AM
No matter how long I live after we get through this dark chapter, I will never get over the immorality, the amorality, the corruption, the criminality and the cruelty in service to one of the worst humans to ever walk the earth.
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Maybe it wasn’t really about Zelensky’s suit after all? 🤨
November 20, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Maybe it wasn’t really about Zelensky’s suit after all? 🤨