in lieu of a closing argument, i tap for seven and cast Platinum Angel
February 2, 2026 at 3:24 AM
in lieu of a closing argument, i tap for seven and cast Platinum Angel
Reposted by Fio Fiorello
what do you want for dinner
August 23, 2024 at 3:17 AM
what do you want for dinner
sexual prank known as the dick-suck-ditch in which the prankster sucks your dick and runs away
January 30, 2026 at 12:58 AM
sexual prank known as the dick-suck-ditch in which the prankster sucks your dick and runs away
Ralph Nader Ginsburg
January 29, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Ralph Nader Ginsburg
none of my posts are made up bullshit. my posts are the evening fucking news. sooby the dooh and shaggy fuckin on the cavman in the museum more at 11
January 29, 2026 at 6:38 AM
none of my posts are made up bullshit. my posts are the evening fucking news. sooby the dooh and shaggy fuckin on the cavman in the museum more at 11
You should be able to sponsor an ICE agent's public execution, like planting a tree in Africa. For $300 you can decide how they die and what animal their remains are fed to
January 29, 2026 at 2:30 AM
You should be able to sponsor an ICE agent's public execution, like planting a tree in Africa. For $300 you can decide how they die and what animal their remains are fed to
Hey that's cool man, I'm gonna play Need For Speed: Carbon and pretend your neck is the gas pedal until you stop moving
January 29, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Hey that's cool man, I'm gonna play Need For Speed: Carbon and pretend your neck is the gas pedal until you stop moving
Aquafina ®️, Water That Drinks You ™️
January 28, 2026 at 6:43 PM
Aquafina ®️, Water That Drinks You ™️
check out the specs on my new penis
January 28, 2026 at 12:02 AM
check out the specs on my new penis
I am now accepting submissions (you may forfeit your deeded property to me)
January 27, 2026 at 6:10 PM
I am now accepting submissions (you may forfeit your deeded property to me)
tried to shift into 5th gear and my car just printed me an IOU
January 27, 2026 at 6:08 PM
tried to shift into 5th gear and my car just printed me an IOU
couldn't really enjoy Slumdog Millionaire because about a third of the way through I started watching a new movie in my mind where Regis Philbin beats the shit out people
January 24, 2026 at 7:17 PM
couldn't really enjoy Slumdog Millionaire because about a third of the way through I started watching a new movie in my mind where Regis Philbin beats the shit out people
Pursuit of Happiness is a movie about a guy who did the "was the Grink there?" joke so hard about a mural that it brought him out of poverty
January 23, 2026 at 8:48 PM
Pursuit of Happiness is a movie about a guy who did the "was the Grink there?" joke so hard about a mural that it brought him out of poverty
Reposted by Fio Fiorello
hold on moosely
but don't elk doe
but don't elk doe
January 23, 2026 at 6:16 PM
hold on moosely
but don't elk doe
but don't elk doe
POLITICS MYTHS
MYTH: america has descended into lawless authoritarianism
FACT: nah we chillin
MYTH: america has descended into lawless authoritarianism
FACT: nah we chillin
January 23, 2026 at 6:14 PM
POLITICS MYTHS
MYTH: america has descended into lawless authoritarianism
FACT: nah we chillin
MYTH: america has descended into lawless authoritarianism
FACT: nah we chillin
Reposted by Fio Fiorello
Why do people under 25 describe themselves with the same words as this packet of deli ham
January 13, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Why do people under 25 describe themselves with the same words as this packet of deli ham
one of my deepest darkest secrets is that i think They Might Be Giants could do up to four totally instrumental albums and they should do at least two
MY INTERROGATOR: give him his cyanide pill back
MY INTERROGATOR: give him his cyanide pill back
January 15, 2026 at 3:38 AM
one of my deepest darkest secrets is that i think They Might Be Giants could do up to four totally instrumental albums and they should do at least two
MY INTERROGATOR: give him his cyanide pill back
MY INTERROGATOR: give him his cyanide pill back
Reposted by Fio Fiorello
this happened at my buddy's first wedding
Using a combination of glitches in Super Mario World, Yoshi can be taken into the final battle, where he can eat Peach upon Bowser's defeat. With Peach gone, the ending will not play, and Mario and Yoshi will simply stare at each other forever.
January 14, 2026 at 9:28 PM
this happened at my buddy's first wedding
All-timer of all time
January 14, 2026 at 7:11 PM
All-timer of all time
Reposted by Fio Fiorello
The murderer’s name is Jonathan Ross. www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...
Star Tribune identifies ICE agent who fatally shot woman in Minneapolis
Jonathan Ross was dragged in a separate incident last year by a fleeing driver, according to court records.
www.startribune.com
January 8, 2026 at 7:07 PM
The murderer’s name is Jonathan Ross. www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...
ME (trying to cryogenically freeze myself): fuck. this feels like it might be regular freezing
January 8, 2026 at 7:54 AM
ME (trying to cryogenically freeze myself): fuck. this feels like it might be regular freezing
Reposted by Fio Fiorello
HER (having sex with me): please stop doing magic tricks
ME: i can skip most of the rest of them but there's one i already committed to, like, hours ago
ME: i can skip most of the rest of them but there's one i already committed to, like, hours ago
October 15, 2025 at 2:06 AM
HER (having sex with me): please stop doing magic tricks
ME: i can skip most of the rest of them but there's one i already committed to, like, hours ago
ME: i can skip most of the rest of them but there's one i already committed to, like, hours ago
a spider laid his eggs directly into my heart and now i have the compassion of a million baby spiders
January 7, 2026 at 4:33 AM
a spider laid his eggs directly into my heart and now i have the compassion of a million baby spiders