You know who I’m sick of? Astronauts. “The eagle has landed” “I’m on the moon”. Shut the fuck up

: electric boogaloo

Stunning. That just sent me off looking up Paul d’Amato and the rest of the series, thanks for the prompt

What if Shake Shack made shakshuka

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

They say if you give a man a fish, he’ll have one photo for his dating profile

For sure, every day I spend on longform writing has three or four days beforehand of getting absolutely nowhere and getting real mad about it, but that’s where all the processing happens

20:53: “I can briefly accept this joint at the bar, I am an adult”

23:37: *putting whipped cream on granola because we’re out of yogurt*

RSVPTSD

Is it wrong to dip potato chips in Nutella

When staging protests, cumulative impact is rather the fucking point

I mostly came here to get away from it tbh

Nancy Mace Windu

Wait until you count the toll of the first four Mambos

I am in fact begging people to signal more virtue. That would slightly raise the net global virtue

“I take safety more serious than you could ever imagine”

Dude I can imagine not being in a burning house

What odds that the bearded dude looking at his phone ordered delivery so he could get a sandwich and kidnap a rider at the same time? Cowboy-hat cosplay thugs.

This is superb

So tell me what what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want what I really want
I wanna
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAAKEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA̷͓̫̫͙͇͉͙̾̎̏̀̄̃͘͝Ą̴̪̩͖͚̃̑̅̈́͗̐͜ͅẠ̷͆A̶͇̘̯̓͗̇̍̍̂A̶͚͙̘̖̟̹̦̐̿̽̊͗Á̷̡̟̘͓͗͝À̶̡̳͎̥͚̑̌̑̍̀̋͊Ặ̵̺̩̰̈́͌̆̇̀͜A̸̝͈͂̈́̽̈̋A̶̡̰͖̠̠̞̠͈͂̍̇̏͛̀̒̚Ą̷̡͕͈̘̠̺̤̆̂̾́̅̉́H̷͕̋̌̿̀̃͘̕̕H̶͕̳͒͜͝H̸͓̳̱͇͉̦͌͌̔͐̀͐̇Ĥ̶̢̼̖͉̣H̶̛͉͕̜͍̯͉̋̐͗̀̄͗H̸͈̙̬̎̕H̸̠̠̺̺̪͓͑H̵̠̦̟͓͙͖̥̊̓͑͑́̔͠H̴͎͈̭̟̫͚̠̊̓̓̍͑̂̽͝ͅ

Ah yes, Jesus never broke any Roman imperial laws, he was publicly executed for unrelated voluntary execution reasons

New teleportation pods to be installed at Dallas Fort Worth

fair play if trump does unveil a magic bed that can cure all known illnesses I will have to hand it to him

Sending the military into Portland to sort out the line at Blue Star Donuts

For the people who think that fears were exaggerated, this is the US president telling US soldiers to shoot people in a US city if those people protest at government facilities.

Truly impressive for a fake cop to drop his own gun onto the hand of a guy he’s arresting, who then has to be the one to consider safety and throw the thing clear