Grant Howitt
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gshowitt.bsky.social
Grant Howitt
@gshowitt.bsky.social
8.7K followers 500 following 1.1K posts
I make roleplaying games, toy soldiers, and bad decisions.
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gshowitt.bsky.social
I'll be around on the stall at the end of the day. But we might have sold out of stuff by then.

So the way is clear: come in the morning and buy something, then come back and get me to sign it so we still look busy

As ever, I will sign anything including books I have not written.
rowanrookanddecard.bsky.social Rowan Rook and Decard @rowanrookanddecard.bsky.social · 1d
it's DRAGONMEET WEEEEEEK! 🐉😃🎉
November 25, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
gshowitt.bsky.social
Back at it again. Couldn't stop writing 'em if I tried.

November's free game is ONE COURSE ULTIMATE MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY. Patrons get it a week early here: www.patreon.com/posts/144283...
It is the past, and it is America. You and your classy associates have gathered at the palatial mansion of Shelby Deville, your classiest associate. As you sit down to eat dinner, two terrible truths are revealed to you: - They’re only serving one course. - They’re... dead! Glancing around the room, it seems like everyone has a motive - you included. You’ve got twenty minutes (half an hour if you take your time and chew your food properly) to solve this mystery. A DRAMATIC TURN Each comes with THINGS TO SAY (or DO); please say (or do) these things as the game progresses. It will flow better if you can do them in order, but don’t feel like you have to if inspiration strikes. Once you’ve said everything on your character card and done everything on your role, you can reveal something dramatic about yourself: you’ve been in love with one of the other characters for years, you’re Shelby’s secret half-sibling or illegitimate child, you’ve been spying for the Russians, etc, etc. CHARACTER Plumbford Derrick. Self-made oil man. You are an investor in Deville Plastics. You need your stake back, but thanks to a tricky contract, Shelby has authority over your money while alive. THINGS TO SAY O “It’s just like my daddy always used to say...” O “You remind me of my third wife...” O “Tell me, you ever drink crude oil?” ROLE You are the Red Herring. It really seems like youdunnit, but you dunt. THINGS TO DO ⬜ Reveal something incriminating. Refuse to elaborate on it when questioned. ⬜ Awkwardly excuse yourself and leave the room. Return after exactly ninety seconds ⬜ Accuse someone of something obviously false to shift attention away from yourself ⬜ Reveal the real, shameful reason for your secrecy (not the murder)
November 24, 2025 at 1:10 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
Back at it again. Couldn't stop writing 'em if I tried.

November's free game is ONE COURSE ULTIMATE MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY. Patrons get it a week early here: www.patreon.com/posts/144283...
It is the past, and it is America. You and your classy associates have gathered at the palatial mansion of Shelby Deville, your classiest associate. As you sit down to eat dinner, two terrible truths are revealed to you: - They’re only serving one course. - They’re... dead! Glancing around the room, it seems like everyone has a motive - you included. You’ve got twenty minutes (half an hour if you take your time and chew your food properly) to solve this mystery. A DRAMATIC TURN Each comes with THINGS TO SAY (or DO); please say (or do) these things as the game progresses. It will flow better if you can do them in order, but don’t feel like you have to if inspiration strikes. Once you’ve said everything on your character card and done everything on your role, you can reveal something dramatic about yourself: you’ve been in love with one of the other characters for years, you’re Shelby’s secret half-sibling or illegitimate child, you’ve been spying for the Russians, etc, etc. CHARACTER Plumbford Derrick. Self-made oil man. You are an investor in Deville Plastics. You need your stake back, but thanks to a tricky contract, Shelby has authority over your money while alive. THINGS TO SAY O “It’s just like my daddy always used to say...” O “You remind me of my third wife...” O “Tell me, you ever drink crude oil?” ROLE You are the Red Herring. It really seems like youdunnit, but you dunt. THINGS TO DO ⬜ Reveal something incriminating. Refuse to elaborate on it when questioned. ⬜ Awkwardly excuse yourself and leave the room. Return after exactly ninety seconds ⬜ Accuse someone of something obviously false to shift attention away from yourself ⬜ Reveal the real, shameful reason for your secrecy (not the murder)
November 24, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
lizzieposte.bsky.social
Gender is a spectrum from just wanting have fun to being back in town, and to varying degrees, each of us contains attributes of both, which is a beautiful thing
November 24, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
rowanrookanddecard.bsky.social
Oh traveller! Come closer. No, closer. Much closer, let me smell your fetor friend. Yesssss. Hmm? What do I want? Oh the wrong question for such a discerning punchinello as yourself! Peruse my menu, and see what delights you...
November 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
Probably “If I Only Had Four Hands,” if only for the many ways it manages to rhyme “pedipalps”
elainelithgow.bsky.social 🌱Elaine Lithgow 🌱 @elainelithgow.bsky.social · 5d
Alright Spire and Heart nerds, what song would you request from the travelling Witness?
A screenshot of a document featuring a list of songs: D10 Popular songs and their vibes 1: A Pitchkin Never Dances: A merry jig filled with crude jokes. 2: One Final Delve: A sorrowful cautionary tale of hubris and loss. 3: The Basilisk hunt: A satirical recounting of a House Gryndel hunt gone wrong. 4: What Waits Below?: An inspiring melody about the adventure, wonders, and riches to be found in the Heart. 5: One Mask For Two: An emotion-tugging duet about a forbidden Drow and Aelfir romance. 6: Last March Of The 33rd: A dolorous foot-pounding marching song often sung at military funerals. 7: If I Only Had Four Hands: A bawdy song about courting a disinterested spiderblood Midwife. 8: Sleep Little Monsters: An ‘educational’ nursery rhyme describing various monsters of the Heart. 9: Our Stolen Moon: A provocative song about Aelfir oppression (banned in many inns). 10: Till Next We Sign: A popular refrain-heavy parting song often used to signal last orders.
November 21, 2025 at 8:49 AM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
ursidice.bsky.social
Wanna encase your magic drained corpse in a moving coffin and depose a local warlord with your weird pals and undead thralls?

Well, do I have the game for you.

Playtest alpha of Nukeromancers: Rise of the Cabalites is PWYW to download now.

ursidice.itch.io/nukeromancer...
Nukeromancers: Rise of the Cabalites by Ursidice
Ride a nuclear Harley through a horde of skeletons while firing a flamethrower into the sky.
ursidice.itch.io
November 20, 2025 at 4:07 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
So, like. It's two hours of unedited recording. But I do throw a couple of jokes in there and spend a full five minutes knocking the shit out the very concept of AI "art"
November 20, 2025 at 10:34 AM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
asherelbein.bsky.social
I cosign every single word of this

anthonymoser.github.io/writing/ai/h...
I do understand: you want permission. There’s a machine in the corner wrapped in human skin that makes things out of shit and blood to look like whatever you want (as long as you don’t look too closely). You gave one to your teacher and they didn’t notice. Your boss told you to use it after they laid off half the team and it was fine. You fed one to your kids and they liked it. You want to know you can use it sometimes without me thinking less of you. You don’t need me to believe it’s useful, you just want me to be polite about it. But I am a hater, and I will not be polite. The machine is disgusting and we should break it. The people who build it are vapid shit-eating cannibals glorifying ignorance. I strongly feel that this is an insult to life itself.
November 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
D66 Things Guards Say When You Pass A Stealth Check (Fantasy)
This is a D66 table which is too long to fit into the alt text. It's 36 different things a Guard might say when you pass a stealth check. Here's a selection, anyway: “Huh. Guess it must have been the wind.” “Blimey, the size of the size of the rats ‘round here!” “I must be tired.” “Don’t bother. This place makes all sorts of weird noises.” “You’re hearing things! You ought to lay off the whiskey.” “Guess it was nothing.” “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” “Go on, get out of here!” “I’m not checking it. You check it.” “Come on, who’d try to sneak in here?” “Ugh. I hate this job.” “Any more noises like that and I’ll be forced to stand up and take a look.” “I don’t feel like getting shanked in the ribs tonight. Just let it slide.” “What you mean, ‘strange noise?’ Sounds like a perfectly normal noise to me.” “My doctor said I’m not supposed to investigate mysterious sounds after 6pm.” *aimlessly whistles a sea shanty, and dreams of their true purpose: sailing the mighty ocean* “Ohhh, my aching back! I can barely stand up straight, let alone search for intruders!” “Geoffrey? Is that you? I’ve told you not to do the hiding thing any more. It’s dangerous.” “I think someone must have left a window open somewhere.” to themselves: “Don’t be scared. Shh. There’s no such thing as ghosts.” “Probably just a harmless drunk. They kip in here sometimes.” “Hey, your shift’s over! It’s my time to guard. Let me have this, Sylvia.” reading aloud, weeping: “Dear Erik. I am very sorry, but I must leave you. I’ve found a new lover. He wants to start a family. I can’t wait for your promotion any longer.” “No, no: my grandfather told me about a time he investigated a nearby disruption. I’m not going to make the same mistake.”
November 19, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
important.website
Mark Z. Danielewski's new novel of beautiful wonderful innocent pigs finding themselves in a labyrinthine pen whose dimensions violate euclidean physics. The pigs do not know fear and nothing happens to them :) More pen space for my great lovely pigs to roam :)
November 19, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
stevenbailey.bsky.social
When I arrive at the party
A photo of a sign, white text on red background: JESUS... WHO IS HE? WHY DID HE COME?
November 19, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
zedecksiew.bsky.social
🙏CHAPTER SERF🙏

I finished it! A Warhammer 40K adventure & TTRPG where you *don't* play Space Marines. Instead you play those little hooded freaks loitering in the background while Space Marines hog the limelight.

PDF here: drive.google.com/file/d/1V4Mt...

1/
November 18, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
hugobookclub.bsky.social
Comic strip showing a stand-up comedian under the title "The Ones Who Bomb In Omegas" He is saying "Hooboy, I should not have brought up the child. This is a tough room, but not the worst room in the city. Am I right?"
November 18, 2025 at 1:55 AM
gshowitt.bsky.social
"Sure. Fuck it."
mattthr.bsky.social Matt Thrower @mattthr.bsky.social · 7d
This mural has gone up in Kingston, ostensibly for Christmas but AI has ensured it's actually to celebrate the return of our dark lord Cthulhu
November 18, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
emiliusdraws.bsky.social
#3157 A helpful tutorial
A digital drawing of one of those drawing tutorials that says 'don't do this, do this.' The drawing is of an almost naked middle-aged man doing a flying kick. The 'Don't do this' one has a bunch of areas circled and a cross under it. The 'Do this' one is exactly the same but without the circles and a tick instead of a cross. The text reads 'Needlessly adding red circles will ruin your art' and a smaller bit of text at the bottom reads 'Bonus tip! Add a tick under all your art so people think you did it right.'
November 17, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
mooseallain.bsky.social
How delightfully quaint some of these old Devon village names are, their etymologies lost in the mists of time.
Road sign for 'Skirmish Paintball'
November 17, 2025 at 3:24 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
I'm really proud of LEXICUTIONERS. The gag is that you can physically edit the game you're playing to change the mechanics and fictional world.

Can you spot the one-sentence tutorial I put into the game - which is in the preview image - that encourages you to start really fucking up the core text?
November 14, 2025 at 12:18 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
this is why my Breath of the Wild cartridge doesn't have a box; I stripped the liner out of it and drew a fake Spelunky cover so my niece would have something to open on Christmas day alongside the digital download
mikestrawmedia.com Mike Straw | Insider-Gaming.com @mikestrawmedia.com · 12d
One reason I love, and will always love, physical: There is nothing better than getting a game my kids want for their birthday/Christmas and seeing them open it.

You don't get that joy and experience with an all-digital experience.
November 14, 2025 at 12:04 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
Nate is legitimately one of the best living writers in the UK. No-one can match his absolute mastery of the grotesque. You should hire him to write for you
frogcroakley.bsky.social frogcroakley.bsky.social @frogcroakley.bsky.social · 12d
Folks it pains me to ask so bluntly, but could anyone use some work doing by me? I've got to find income for three months until my next royalty payment, and I'm not having much luck.
November 13, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
rowanrookanddecard.bsky.social
We'd like to congratulate Nunavut on having the most RRD games per capita. They just received lots of 1pg games for their community centre! Specifically:

🔸3 copies x 6 volumes x 13 games in each = 234 games
🔸Pop. = 36,858 (across Qikiqtaaluk , Kivalliq, Kitikmeot)
🔸That's a game per 157 people!
November 11, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
dumbmike.bsky.social
The James Bond franchise faces a big problem: me, the viewer, has been shot at the start of the movie through the barrel of my gun, and I'm dripping blood over my own eye balls (they're in the gun)
November 11, 2025 at 7:40 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
I remember chatting to my dad about Corbyn, and he said that I shouldn't believe everything I hear from progressives, that politicians don't deliver what they promise. And I said that if they all don't deliver what they promise why shouldn't I vote for the guy who's at least lying in my direction
theangelremiel.bsky.social Ian Rennie @theangelremiel.bsky.social · 13d
The important thing to remember about smug patronising headlines like this is that they aren't aimed at the "kids" they're theoretically addressing. They're aimed at their parents. www.thetimes.com/comment/colu...
Sorry kids, Greens’ fantasy politics don’t add up
Now Zack Polanski’s party is polling level with Labour it’s time to subject his platform to the scrutiny given to the grown-ups
www.thetimes.com
November 12, 2025 at 12:16 PM
gshowitt.bsky.social
I read Borges’ Ficciones when I was twenty one and, having found the ideal book, largely stopped reading books
runwithskizzers.bsky.social Preeti Chhibber @runwithskizzers.bsky.social · 14d
performative reading, lack of reading skills, nobody's reading anymore -- NO!

tell me about a book that changed you

for me? the *extremely* ahistorical novel, THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY which I read at 13 and was like, "Oh, art can be *everything* to a maker, for good and bad"
November 12, 2025 at 8:30 AM
Reposted by Grant Howitt
extrafabulous.bsky.social
November 10, 2025 at 4:58 PM