Hannah Breedshaft
@hbreadlove.bsky.social
A man on the street once tried to read me my fortune and said “all I’m getting is horses?” and just left it at that
Thinking about how I accidentally described the premise of Pacific Rim in my wedding vows but I had never seen or heard of Pacific Rim?
February 5, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Thinking about how I accidentally described the premise of Pacific Rim in my wedding vows but I had never seen or heard of Pacific Rim?
Someone do the math for me on the fact that my parents just left after a long visit and the fact that I’ve listened to Riot! by Paramore three times today
January 27, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Someone do the math for me on the fact that my parents just left after a long visit and the fact that I’ve listened to Riot! by Paramore three times today
Me (making small talk in Philly with minimal football knowledge): think the boys are gonna tush push today?
January 19, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Me (making small talk in Philly with minimal football knowledge): think the boys are gonna tush push today?
All I want for Christmas is a driveway
December 17, 2024 at 10:54 PM
All I want for Christmas is a driveway
I’m going to think about this every day for the rest of my life
someone you find attractive at a funeral is a 'mourning would'
December 1, 2024 at 10:16 PM
I’m going to think about this every day for the rest of my life
Reposted by Hannah Breedshaft
someone you find attractive at a funeral is a 'mourning would'
December 1, 2024 at 4:16 PM
someone you find attractive at a funeral is a 'mourning would'
Watching Ravens/Eagles as a Philly resident and former Baltimorean and all I have to say is Go Birds (ambiguous)!
December 1, 2024 at 10:11 PM
Watching Ravens/Eagles as a Philly resident and former Baltimorean and all I have to say is Go Birds (ambiguous)!
My newest bit is putting perfume on my finger and sticking it up my husband’s nose so that he’ll remember my scent if I die first (or do we all do that?)
November 23, 2024 at 3:30 AM
My newest bit is putting perfume on my finger and sticking it up my husband’s nose so that he’ll remember my scent if I die first (or do we all do that?)
I’m still going to say tweet. Are we all okay with that here?
November 19, 2024 at 2:06 PM
I’m still going to say tweet. Are we all okay with that here?
Reposted by Hannah Breedshaft
me: what are you writing
therapist: [flips notepad to show doodle of an ugly clown crying] it's you
therapist: [flips notepad to show doodle of an ugly clown crying] it's you
November 16, 2024 at 6:29 AM
me: what are you writing
therapist: [flips notepad to show doodle of an ugly clown crying] it's you
therapist: [flips notepad to show doodle of an ugly clown crying] it's you
Reposted by Hannah Breedshaft
Date: I’m leaving
Me [from inside the pillow fort]: You said you liked men who made you feel safe
Me [from inside the pillow fort]: You said you liked men who made you feel safe
November 19, 2024 at 5:34 AM
Date: I’m leaving
Me [from inside the pillow fort]: You said you liked men who made you feel safe
Me [from inside the pillow fort]: You said you liked men who made you feel safe
Reposted by Hannah Breedshaft
Cashier: did you find everything you were looking for?
Bono: *looking off into the distance*
Bono: *looking off into the distance*
November 18, 2024 at 4:50 PM
Cashier: did you find everything you were looking for?
Bono: *looking off into the distance*
Bono: *looking off into the distance*
Reposted by Hannah Breedshaft
i say tweet the same way my mom has spent everyday since 86 calling anything hooked up to a tv “nintendo”
November 18, 2024 at 6:12 PM
i say tweet the same way my mom has spent everyday since 86 calling anything hooked up to a tv “nintendo”
I haven’t been funny since 2010 twitter, here’s hoping all it takes is a new social media! Social medium? Off to a bad start.
November 18, 2024 at 4:52 PM
I haven’t been funny since 2010 twitter, here’s hoping all it takes is a new social media! Social medium? Off to a bad start.