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ADAM AMIN: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
ADAM AMIN: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
ADAM AMIN: oh god yes
AJ PIERZYNSKI: shoulda bunted

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 5h

sudden death extra innings - lip synch for your life

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 5h

every single pitcher getting out of a jam in this game has done pretty much every street fighter character’s victory pose

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 8h

new bourbon bottle plus barrel aged old fashioned with an orange juice ice cube

Russell’s reserve private barrel selection next to an an old fashioned

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 10h

the falcons throwback logo is sick, but this falcon looks like his wife just asked him for a divorce

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 11h

the brewers and cubs should all be sent to the hague for forcing a game 5 the night before i run a marathon

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 12h

I am getting Mandela effected too because I’m pretty sure they broke up in 2000, and billy corgan disappeared off the face of the earth

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Reposted by alice lastnamé

Maggie Hendricks @maggiehendricks.bsky.social · 12h

Since Broadview is so close to where I grew up and much of my family is near there, I want to be a resource for anyone heading there to protest. To begin with, here are some places where you can go and grab some food not far from the Broadview ICE facility. These are all BIPOC owned and delish.

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 1d

i got a lot of shit for owning a smart car a few years back. but i was right. if we need to have cars around, they should be small!

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Reposted by alice lastnamé

Bradford William Davis @bwd.bsky.social · 2d

we have never been so back (in the pits of Hell!)

First panel: “how I imagined 2025 as a kid” set with futuristic cityscape
Second panel: “how it turned out” with two people arguing whether or not the South won the Civil War

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Reposted by alice lastnamé

Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 2d

repost this if an editor has ever saved you from yourself

violent alien @blipstress.bsky.social · 2d

An actual hot take: Too many authors are afraid of editors watering down their voice or whatever and not afraid enough of editors letting you put any old slop on the page.

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 2d

or depending on your generation, Jasmine from Aladdin

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 2d

paulina is pronounced paw-line-ah, btw

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 2d

it’s fine to not be a local! someone made these things all up. it’s all arbitrary and meaningless!

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 2d

i didn’t know that palestine, texas was pronounced “pal-es-teen.” the guy i was seeing at the time was from the area and he told me “you don’t want people to think you’re not from around here, do you?”

i said “no, i do not want to be from around here”

Merriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 2d

What’s the word where you’re from that, when pronounced exactly as it looks, identifies a tourist immediately?

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Reposted by alice lastnamé

Tyrone @thetyrone.bsky.social · 2d

This is one of the rare times in Illinois politics when you could call for the governor to be jailed and be incorrect.

Gregory Pratt @royalpratt.bsky.social · 2d

The President of the United States is calling for the mayor of Chicago and governor of Illinois to be jailed.

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Reposted by alice lastnamé

Laura Jedeed @laurajedeed.bsky.social · 2d

More propaganda with painfully normal people zip-tied at the side of the road please, this will for sure convince the American people that you're the good guys

Homeland Security @DHSgov

We're having an All Night Revival

Still frame from a video: Painfully normal people zip tied on the side of the road, sitting on a guardrail in a row

14:30 07 Oct 25 2.1M Views

5 Reposts

940 Quotes 42.2K

2,584 Bookmarks

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alice lastnamé @jdvalenzuela.bsky.social · 2d

coffee flavored milk

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Reposted by alice lastnamé

Em, spookily 👻 @lefttheprairie.bsky.social · 3d

If you’re particularly despairing tonight, remember that you can always choose to show up tomorrow and help people. Narrow your capacity for concern to a specific person or place through volunteering. It feels good. Call your local school or aldercritter’s office to ask about opportunities.

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