John Pontoon, dissident rando
@johnpontoon.bsky.social
I once sang, “From where I stand you look like ants / and there’s an aardvark in my pants.” It wasn’t literally true at the time.
I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk.
Past talent: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon
I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk.
Past talent: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon
Pinned
Surely at some point, organizations had a sensible bias against being led by know-nothing dumbfucks? I believe this must be true because humanity has torn iron from the ground and made it into buildings a thousand feet high.
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
Fun fact: The divorce scene in the Kid Rock show was an actual divorce showing a wife leaving her conservative husband.
February 9, 2026 at 2:42 AM
Fun fact: The divorce scene in the Kid Rock show was an actual divorce showing a wife leaving her conservative husband.
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
I’ve been saying for 3 months that the Seahawks are gonna beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, which would also feature Bad Bunny handing a Grammy he just won to Liam Ramos.
February 9, 2026 at 2:24 AM
I’ve been saying for 3 months that the Seahawks are gonna beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, which would also feature Bad Bunny handing a Grammy he just won to Liam Ramos.
Yarvin reasserts himself as what passes for a right-wing intellectual.
The degree to which these people should be locked in an asylum cannot be overstated
February 9, 2026 at 4:05 AM
Yarvin reasserts himself as what passes for a right-wing intellectual.
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
February 9, 2026 at 2:11 AM
I'm hardly the first person to note this, but it's enormously instructive that our President and his followers saw the message "THE ONLY THING MORE POWERFUL THAN HATE IS LOVE" and understood it, correctly, as an attack on them
I should probably know who this “If Elon Never Needed Brown Hair Implants” guy is, right?
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 AM
I should probably know who this “If Elon Never Needed Brown Hair Implants” guy is, right?
They just did a commercial paid for by the alien with “DO NOT DEVELOP MY APP” tattooed on him.
February 9, 2026 at 2:57 AM
They just did a commercial paid for by the alien with “DO NOT DEVELOP MY APP” tattooed on him.
Izzat Sam Richardson in the commercial with Danny Trejo and John C Reilly?
February 9, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Izzat Sam Richardson in the commercial with Danny Trejo and John C Reilly?
A Seahawks championship here would mark the first time any Seattle team has won a championship, unless they have an NBA team or WNBA team or NHL team or soccer team, I don’t really follow sports. Also did the Orioles used to be in Seattle?
February 9, 2026 at 2:51 AM
A Seahawks championship here would mark the first time any Seattle team has won a championship, unless they have an NBA team or WNBA team or NHL team or soccer team, I don’t really follow sports. Also did the Orioles used to be in Seattle?
Aw damn I LOVED that time that he clapped and also the time he gave a thumbs-up, and who could forget the time he pointed somewhere? And all the tones he posed for pictures holding his kids? CRYING. Miss you, king!
It's over. He played 2 songs and then they played this Charlie Kirk montage
February 9, 2026 at 2:36 AM
Aw damn I LOVED that time that he clapped and also the time he gave a thumbs-up, and who could forget the time he pointed somewhere? And all the tones he posed for pictures holding his kids? CRYING. Miss you, king!
I’ve been saying for 3 months that the Seahawks are gonna beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, which would also feature Bad Bunny handing a Grammy he just won to Liam Ramos.
February 9, 2026 at 2:24 AM
I’ve been saying for 3 months that the Seahawks are gonna beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, which would also feature Bad Bunny handing a Grammy he just won to Liam Ramos.
Newly relevant
Meet the Nudeblum. Same as the Goldblum.
February 9, 2026 at 2:12 AM
Newly relevant
great news mom they’re gonna punt!
February 9, 2026 at 2:05 AM
great news mom they’re gonna punt!
I feel like this Trump guy has a negative attitude sometimes.
February 9, 2026 at 2:04 AM
I feel like this Trump guy has a negative attitude sometimes.
Here’s a rapist in an ad for the President’s pretend health initiative. There just weren’t any other possible celebrities, only the rapist.
February 9, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Here’s a rapist in an ad for the President’s pretend health initiative. There just weren’t any other possible celebrities, only the rapist.
guys please help I can’t find the patriotic halftime show
February 9, 2026 at 1:20 AM
guys please help I can’t find the patriotic halftime show
This would have been SO great if any one of the dudes refused to be CGed - like, Jason Alexander insists on just a ton of pancake makeup. I woulda been on there looking like Joe Pesci at the end of The Irishman.
February 9, 2026 at 1:18 AM
This would have been SO great if any one of the dudes refused to be CGed - like, Jason Alexander insists on just a ton of pancake makeup. I woulda been on there looking like Joe Pesci at the end of The Irishman.
Seattle has hit another field goal and we go into halftime 9-0 Seattle. This is John Pontoon with Bsky internet sports radio Super Bowl broadcasting, your one stop shop to drop cops and mop sloppy plops.
February 9, 2026 at 1:11 AM
Seattle has hit another field goal and we go into halftime 9-0 Seattle. This is John Pontoon with Bsky internet sports radio Super Bowl broadcasting, your one stop shop to drop cops and mop sloppy plops.
🚨 SCOOP 🚨 My phone has finally convinced me that it’s Super Bowl, two words. Now if they can just stop fucking up all capitalization. I straight up hate the your choices are 1. capitalized shit when you don’t want that; or 2. remove capitalization when you hit the caps bar. How ‘bout caps neutral?
February 9, 2026 at 12:48 AM
🚨 SCOOP 🚨 My phone has finally convinced me that it’s Super Bowl, two words. Now if they can just stop fucking up all capitalization. I straight up hate the your choices are 1. capitalized shit when you don’t want that; or 2. remove capitalization when you hit the caps bar. How ‘bout caps neutral?
Help me out, when did they stop measuring first downs with a chain attached to two poles? That was stoopid (complimentary.)
February 9, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Help me out, when did they stop measuring first downs with a chain attached to two poles? That was stoopid (complimentary.)
Reposted by John Pontoon, dissident rando
As relevant as ever.
GI Joe gif “Your ass got saaaaacked!”
February 9, 2026 at 12:07 AM
As relevant as ever.
What. A. Cowardly. Touchback.
February 9, 2026 at 12:30 AM
What. A. Cowardly. Touchback.
Seahawks have consecutive runs totaling 219 yards. How is the NFL supposed to capture the international crowd if they don’t maximize punts?
February 9, 2026 at 12:26 AM
Seahawks have consecutive runs totaling 219 yards. How is the NFL supposed to capture the international crowd if they don’t maximize punts?
As relevant as ever.
GI Joe gif “Your ass got saaaaacked!”
February 9, 2026 at 12:07 AM
As relevant as ever.
PASTED FOR A LOSS! The US economy should NOT have gone all-in on A.I.!
February 9, 2026 at 12:06 AM
PASTED FOR A LOSS! The US economy should NOT have gone all-in on A.I.!
Continuing my play-by-play, that play was exciting! Glad I could fill in here for y’all at home with no TV or whatever.
February 9, 2026 at 12:03 AM
Continuing my play-by-play, that play was exciting! Glad I could fill in here for y’all at home with no TV or whatever.