Moorepheme
@moorepheme.bsky.social
So is there someone who'll tell you you're insane or do you have to, like, eat people first?
Pinned
On my murder spree I'm going to be sure to use an interesting murder weapon like a pie server or a harpoon.
Grizzled Cop: "Yeah, Doc but what kind of blade makes wounds like this?"
Grizzled Medical Examiner: "I don't know, Schmidt. But I feel like I've seen cuts like this before..."
#truecrime
Grizzled Cop: "Yeah, Doc but what kind of blade makes wounds like this?"
Grizzled Medical Examiner: "I don't know, Schmidt. But I feel like I've seen cuts like this before..."
#truecrime
At the party:
Guy: Whoa! You're cute!
Me: Oh yeah? (Oh no.)
Guy YAH... what's your name, baby?
Me: Edith (Ugh. Am I going to have to taze this guy?)
Guy: So, what iz upp?
Me: Not much. (Sigh. Yes, I am.)
Guy: So how about we-GZZRKK!
Me: Hm. (He's kind of cute when he's unconscious.)
#dating
Guy: Whoa! You're cute!
Me: Oh yeah? (Oh no.)
Guy YAH... what's your name, baby?
Me: Edith (Ugh. Am I going to have to taze this guy?)
Guy: So, what iz upp?
Me: Not much. (Sigh. Yes, I am.)
Guy: So how about we-GZZRKK!
Me: Hm. (He's kind of cute when he's unconscious.)
#dating
January 7, 2026 at 1:09 PM
At the party:
Guy: Whoa! You're cute!
Me: Oh yeah? (Oh no.)
Guy YAH... what's your name, baby?
Me: Edith (Ugh. Am I going to have to taze this guy?)
Guy: So, what iz upp?
Me: Not much. (Sigh. Yes, I am.)
Guy: So how about we-GZZRKK!
Me: Hm. (He's kind of cute when he's unconscious.)
#dating
Guy: Whoa! You're cute!
Me: Oh yeah? (Oh no.)
Guy YAH... what's your name, baby?
Me: Edith (Ugh. Am I going to have to taze this guy?)
Guy: So, what iz upp?
Me: Not much. (Sigh. Yes, I am.)
Guy: So how about we-GZZRKK!
Me: Hm. (He's kind of cute when he's unconscious.)
#dating
Why are fantasy cities always built along the edge of insanely dangerous cliffs? I think the fantasy is that they don't have insurance premiums.
#fantasy
#fantasy
January 7, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Why are fantasy cities always built along the edge of insanely dangerous cliffs? I think the fantasy is that they don't have insurance premiums.
#fantasy
#fantasy
I have a question: how many times did your forefathers go through Ellis Island to get the extra 'r'?
"You?? Again!?"
"Watevair do you means?"
We told you, it's a myth: we don't change names!"
"Pleaze, sirs. Think of my family..."
#immigration
"You?? Again!?"
"Watevair do you means?"
We told you, it's a myth: we don't change names!"
"Pleaze, sirs. Think of my family..."
#immigration
January 7, 2026 at 2:45 AM
I have a question: how many times did your forefathers go through Ellis Island to get the extra 'r'?
"You?? Again!?"
"Watevair do you means?"
We told you, it's a myth: we don't change names!"
"Pleaze, sirs. Think of my family..."
#immigration
"You?? Again!?"
"Watevair do you means?"
We told you, it's a myth: we don't change names!"
"Pleaze, sirs. Think of my family..."
#immigration
Is it a law that new apartments can't have more than one drawer? Is there a tariff on storage or something?
January 6, 2026 at 1:02 PM
Is it a law that new apartments can't have more than one drawer? Is there a tariff on storage or something?
Again.
You mean: 'We are 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 the villains.'
You mean: 'We are 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 the villains.'
January 6, 2026 at 12:54 PM
Again.
You mean: 'We are 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 the villains.'
You mean: 'We are 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 the villains.'
On my murder spree I'm going to be sure to use an interesting murder weapon like a pie server or a harpoon.
Grizzled Cop: "Yeah, Doc but what kind of blade makes wounds like this?"
Grizzled Medical Examiner: "I don't know, Schmidt. But I feel like I've seen cuts like this before..."
#truecrime
Grizzled Cop: "Yeah, Doc but what kind of blade makes wounds like this?"
Grizzled Medical Examiner: "I don't know, Schmidt. But I feel like I've seen cuts like this before..."
#truecrime
January 6, 2026 at 3:27 AM
On my murder spree I'm going to be sure to use an interesting murder weapon like a pie server or a harpoon.
Grizzled Cop: "Yeah, Doc but what kind of blade makes wounds like this?"
Grizzled Medical Examiner: "I don't know, Schmidt. But I feel like I've seen cuts like this before..."
#truecrime
Grizzled Cop: "Yeah, Doc but what kind of blade makes wounds like this?"
Grizzled Medical Examiner: "I don't know, Schmidt. But I feel like I've seen cuts like this before..."
#truecrime
Transformers should do a storyline where a Transformer accidentally smushes a person like a juice box, and then we see them deal with the emotional trauma by becoming a buddhist who refuses to fight and wears mattresses on his feet.
"I am Sunyat-bot."
"I am Sunyat-bot."
January 6, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Transformers should do a storyline where a Transformer accidentally smushes a person like a juice box, and then we see them deal with the emotional trauma by becoming a buddhist who refuses to fight and wears mattresses on his feet.
"I am Sunyat-bot."
"I am Sunyat-bot."
Reposted by Moorepheme
Am I having a panic attack or do I just live in America
January 4, 2026 at 12:55 PM
Am I having a panic attack or do I just live in America
Why isn't the opposite of fiction, faction?
January 5, 2026 at 12:54 PM
Why isn't the opposite of fiction, faction?
Prediction for 2026: Desperate influencers accidentally but successfully initiate the craze for "cowl-neck panties," catapulting humanity into a new golden age of fashion.
January 1, 2026 at 8:12 PM
Prediction for 2026: Desperate influencers accidentally but successfully initiate the craze for "cowl-neck panties," catapulting humanity into a new golden age of fashion.
Prediction for 2026: Dunkin' Donuts introduces "Bagel Holes" which are a total and utter worldwide failure everywhere but Florida.
January 1, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Prediction for 2026: Dunkin' Donuts introduces "Bagel Holes" which are a total and utter worldwide failure everywhere but Florida.
Prediction for 2026: The University of High Point begins offering transfer credits to content creators on OnlyFans.
January 1, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Prediction for 2026: The University of High Point begins offering transfer credits to content creators on OnlyFans.
Prediction for 2026: EA secures a deal to let two contest winners determine the outcome of an actual NFL game by playing Madden:
Suresh "ToightEnds33" Bhattacherjee (representing the Houston Texans) vs. Connie "!Gramma_Slamma!" Bobak (representing the Pittsburgh Steelers).
Suresh "ToightEnds33" Bhattacherjee (representing the Houston Texans) vs. Connie "!Gramma_Slamma!" Bobak (representing the Pittsburgh Steelers).
January 1, 2026 at 7:49 PM
Prediction for 2026: EA secures a deal to let two contest winners determine the outcome of an actual NFL game by playing Madden:
Suresh "ToightEnds33" Bhattacherjee (representing the Houston Texans) vs. Connie "!Gramma_Slamma!" Bobak (representing the Pittsburgh Steelers).
Suresh "ToightEnds33" Bhattacherjee (representing the Houston Texans) vs. Connie "!Gramma_Slamma!" Bobak (representing the Pittsburgh Steelers).
Prediction for 2026: Enraged and aggravated by a deepfaked Maduro dick pic, our president mistakenly bombs Venice.
January 1, 2026 at 7:36 PM
Prediction for 2026: Enraged and aggravated by a deepfaked Maduro dick pic, our president mistakenly bombs Venice.
Prediction for 2026: South Carolina attempts to ban the metric system. Settles on a 100% tariff on any metrically-derived products or calculations.
January 1, 2026 at 7:33 PM
Prediction for 2026: South Carolina attempts to ban the metric system. Settles on a 100% tariff on any metrically-derived products or calculations.
Prediction for 2026: J.K. Rowling's daughter, Jessica Isabel Rowling is deemed the greatest Masked Singer reveal of all time after she "Wails Aerobics Jingles."
January 1, 2026 at 7:32 PM
Prediction for 2026: J.K. Rowling's daughter, Jessica Isabel Rowling is deemed the greatest Masked Singer reveal of all time after she "Wails Aerobics Jingles."
Prediction for 2026: the Dow Jones drops 10,000 points in a single day after someone realizes Salesforce doesn't actually do anything. The "company" instantly collapses in a cloud of papier-mâché dust and insects like the Oogie-Boogie man.
January 1, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Prediction for 2026: the Dow Jones drops 10,000 points in a single day after someone realizes Salesforce doesn't actually do anything. The "company" instantly collapses in a cloud of papier-mâché dust and insects like the Oogie-Boogie man.
Prediction for 2026: MAGA supporters double down and declare all fruits and vegetables "woke".
In response, McDonald's introduces the 'Merica Menu and Pizza Hut introduces blood-based sauces.
In response, McDonald's introduces the 'Merica Menu and Pizza Hut introduces blood-based sauces.
January 1, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Prediction for 2026: MAGA supporters double down and declare all fruits and vegetables "woke".
In response, McDonald's introduces the 'Merica Menu and Pizza Hut introduces blood-based sauces.
In response, McDonald's introduces the 'Merica Menu and Pizza Hut introduces blood-based sauces.
Prediction for 2026: US Supreme Court determines that restrictions on gambling using livestock for currency is unconstitutional, so reciprocally restrictions on gambling by livestock using currency is also okay.
January 1, 2026 at 4:47 PM
Prediction for 2026: US Supreme Court determines that restrictions on gambling using livestock for currency is unconstitutional, so reciprocally restrictions on gambling by livestock using currency is also okay.
Prediction for 2026: Corporations successfully petition to be able to elect a non-voting member of congress.
(Bonus prediction: They choose George Santos for his experience.)
(Bonus prediction: They choose George Santos for his experience.)
January 1, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Prediction for 2026: Corporations successfully petition to be able to elect a non-voting member of congress.
(Bonus prediction: They choose George Santos for his experience.)
(Bonus prediction: They choose George Santos for his experience.)
Prediction for 2026: Melania files for divorce; argues that she gets half of America.
January 1, 2026 at 3:36 PM
Prediction for 2026: Melania files for divorce; argues that she gets half of America.
Have you ever noticed how strange all the holiday traditions feel in the days after Christmas? I bet this is how people feel after orgies, too.
#happyholidays
#happyholidays
December 31, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Have you ever noticed how strange all the holiday traditions feel in the days after Christmas? I bet this is how people feel after orgies, too.
#happyholidays
#happyholidays
December 31, 2025 at 1:18 PM
No-no-no-nooo: this guest wasn't "hit" by a camel. She was "donkey-kicked in the face" by a camel. The news needs to correct the church's public relations BS.
www.facebook.com/GrizzysHoodN...
www.facebook.com/GrizzysHoodN...
1.3M views · 6.5K reactions | Champion Forest Baptist Church – Camel Incident Update
During a Christmas performance at Champion Forest Baptist Church, a woman was injured after being kicked by a came...
Champion Forest Baptist Church – Camel Incident Update
During a Christmas performance at Champion Forest Baptist Church, a woman was injured after being kicked by a camel. She was transported to a...
www.facebook.com
December 30, 2025 at 3:10 AM
No-no-no-nooo: this guest wasn't "hit" by a camel. She was "donkey-kicked in the face" by a camel. The news needs to correct the church's public relations BS.
www.facebook.com/GrizzysHoodN...
www.facebook.com/GrizzysHoodN...