Moorepheme
@moorepheme.bsky.social
So is there someone who'll tell you you're insane or do you have to, like, eat people first?
Mariana Islands: This is our Founding Fathers' true vision; men in Hawaiian shirts sitting around a small room in the stifling heat and impeaching the bejesus out of anyone who even smells like a king: www.civilbeat.org/beat/cnmi-ho...
America is alive and well in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
America is alive and well in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Mariana Islands: This is our Founding Fathers' true vision; men in Hawaiian shirts sitting around a small room in the stifling heat and impeaching the bejesus out of anyone who even smells like a king: www.civilbeat.org/beat/cnmi-ho...
America is alive and well in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
America is alive and well in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
United States Virgin Islands: “The Earle B. Ottley Legislative hall is a tribute to the rich history”—oh come on! Are you meeting in a church basement, USVI? What are you doing with all the Cruise Ship docking fees and Pina Colada money?
...yes, it is still better than Idaho.
...yes, it is still better than Idaho.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
United States Virgin Islands: “The Earle B. Ottley Legislative hall is a tribute to the rich history”—oh come on! Are you meeting in a church basement, USVI? What are you doing with all the Cruise Ship docking fees and Pina Colada money?
...yes, it is still better than Idaho.
...yes, it is still better than Idaho.
Guam:
Windows: A-
Carpet: D
Music stands for Ukulele Solos: C+
(Yes, I said it but you did this to yourself. ...I don’t care where Amazon delivers, you made that choice. Own it.)
Windows: A-
Carpet: D
Music stands for Ukulele Solos: C+
(Yes, I said it but you did this to yourself. ...I don’t care where Amazon delivers, you made that choice. Own it.)
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Guam:
Windows: A-
Carpet: D
Music stands for Ukulele Solos: C+
(Yes, I said it but you did this to yourself. ...I don’t care where Amazon delivers, you made that choice. Own it.)
Windows: A-
Carpet: D
Music stands for Ukulele Solos: C+
(Yes, I said it but you did this to yourself. ...I don’t care where Amazon delivers, you made that choice. Own it.)
American Samoa: Rather than waste time with a legislative building the Samoans just rent out an abandoned Olive Garden, hang pictures of their family on every surface, and wait for the world to nuke itself. Very practical. Reminds me of my grandmother’s house.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
American Samoa: Rather than waste time with a legislative building the Samoans just rent out an abandoned Olive Garden, hang pictures of their family on every surface, and wait for the world to nuke itself. Very practical. Reminds me of my grandmother’s house.
BONUS LEGISLATURES - Puerto Rico: Come on, PR. With this kind of effort, no wonder your constituents haven’t successfully become a state or shot the president.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
BONUS LEGISLATURES - Puerto Rico: Come on, PR. With this kind of effort, no wonder your constituents haven’t successfully become a state or shot the president.
Mississippi: Mississippi selected “mustard and mint” because the face you make thinking about that flavor combination is the same face people make when they visit Mississippi.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Mississippi: Mississippi selected “mustard and mint” because the face you make thinking about that flavor combination is the same face people make when they visit Mississippi.
Vermont: Wow...If L.L. Bean were a State. I know I’ve been making fun but this is actually top shelf. 10 out of 10. Would definitely legislate here.
Honestly, this alone makes me want to us to keep them from defecting to Canada.
Honestly, this alone makes me want to us to keep them from defecting to Canada.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Vermont: Wow...If L.L. Bean were a State. I know I’ve been making fun but this is actually top shelf. 10 out of 10. Would definitely legislate here.
Honestly, this alone makes me want to us to keep them from defecting to Canada.
Honestly, this alone makes me want to us to keep them from defecting to Canada.
Pennsylvania: This design motif will look familiar if you’ve ever barfed a salad.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Pennsylvania: This design motif will look familiar if you’ve ever barfed a salad.
Kansas: Kansas won't tier their chamber floor due to acrophobia but installed every other design element instead.
(Note: the bald guy is just there for the free translation services and the man with the “don’t tread on my gun rights” sign is crafting an amendment that lets him shoot people.)
(Note: the bald guy is just there for the free translation services and the man with the “don’t tread on my gun rights” sign is crafting an amendment that lets him shoot people.)
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Kansas: Kansas won't tier their chamber floor due to acrophobia but installed every other design element instead.
(Note: the bald guy is just there for the free translation services and the man with the “don’t tread on my gun rights” sign is crafting an amendment that lets him shoot people.)
(Note: the bald guy is just there for the free translation services and the man with the “don’t tread on my gun rights” sign is crafting an amendment that lets him shoot people.)
Massachusetts: In Fish We Trust.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Massachusetts: In Fish We Trust.
California: Back to adventures in carpet (title of your sex tape), which -- to be fair to the selection in the California state house -- looks much better if you’re on methamphetamines.
(Fun fact: thanks to Proposition #51, the picture above the speaker is actually Jeremy Piven.)
(Fun fact: thanks to Proposition #51, the picture above the speaker is actually Jeremy Piven.)
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
California: Back to adventures in carpet (title of your sex tape), which -- to be fair to the selection in the California state house -- looks much better if you’re on methamphetamines.
(Fun fact: thanks to Proposition #51, the picture above the speaker is actually Jeremy Piven.)
(Fun fact: thanks to Proposition #51, the picture above the speaker is actually Jeremy Piven.)
Nebraska: Nebraska is apparently still considering the separation of church and State.
They are also the only unicameral legislature because why would you need a second church--I mean, chamber?
They are also the only unicameral legislature because why would you need a second church--I mean, chamber?
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Nebraska: Nebraska is apparently still considering the separation of church and State.
They are also the only unicameral legislature because why would you need a second church--I mean, chamber?
They are also the only unicameral legislature because why would you need a second church--I mean, chamber?
Texas: This meanwhile, is awful. Your chamber looks like a converted gymnasium.
(Note: this photo is from during session, but there was a rumor a representative shook hands with a gay person, so they adjourned to limit the exposure and have the building fumigated while he underwent a transplant.)
(Note: this photo is from during session, but there was a rumor a representative shook hands with a gay person, so they adjourned to limit the exposure and have the building fumigated while he underwent a transplant.)
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Texas: This meanwhile, is awful. Your chamber looks like a converted gymnasium.
(Note: this photo is from during session, but there was a rumor a representative shook hands with a gay person, so they adjourned to limit the exposure and have the building fumigated while he underwent a transplant.)
(Note: this photo is from during session, but there was a rumor a representative shook hands with a gay person, so they adjourned to limit the exposure and have the building fumigated while he underwent a transplant.)
North Dakota: You know, I tried to find something to criticize here and couldn’t. The building interior looks nice and without pretension. The frugality and focus on needs rather than pomposity makes an unnervingly potent argument for the fictional reality which Republicans pretend to embrace.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
North Dakota: You know, I tried to find something to criticize here and couldn’t. The building interior looks nice and without pretension. The frugality and focus on needs rather than pomposity makes an unnervingly potent argument for the fictional reality which Republicans pretend to embrace.
Arizona: The carpet is there to remind them what water looks like.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Arizona: The carpet is there to remind them what water looks like.
Iowa: "Programs heah, get ya’ programs heah! Can’t tell yah elected rep-reesentatives without a program!"
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Iowa: "Programs heah, get ya’ programs heah! Can’t tell yah elected rep-reesentatives without a program!"
Nevada: So dull. Is this an attempt at good taste? That chuck wagon has long since departed my monoeconomic friends. Lean in.
Why not go with a chamber decorated like a giant roulette wheel? The numbers could be the districts with a center-spindle chandelier and a giant ball bearing as a gavel.
Why not go with a chamber decorated like a giant roulette wheel? The numbers could be the districts with a center-spindle chandelier and a giant ball bearing as a gavel.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Nevada: So dull. Is this an attempt at good taste? That chuck wagon has long since departed my monoeconomic friends. Lean in.
Why not go with a chamber decorated like a giant roulette wheel? The numbers could be the districts with a center-spindle chandelier and a giant ball bearing as a gavel.
Why not go with a chamber decorated like a giant roulette wheel? The numbers could be the districts with a center-spindle chandelier and a giant ball bearing as a gavel.
Florida: “Our constituents elect us to represent them and their values: sitting around watching TV while the world burns.”
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Florida: “Our constituents elect us to represent them and their values: sitting around watching TV while the world burns.”
New York: New York’s Legislature -- who got a great deal on their carpet by the way -- repossessed a cathedral and inherited the rest of the furniture from their Great Uncle Vinny, who you know had good taste. Pass me another bagel.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
New York: New York’s Legislature -- who got a great deal on their carpet by the way -- repossessed a cathedral and inherited the rest of the furniture from their Great Uncle Vinny, who you know had good taste. Pass me another bagel.
Louisiana: Holy cr--Is that a crypt? What is wrong with these people?
The U.S. needs to look into the Louisiana Refund.
The U.S. needs to look into the Louisiana Refund.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Louisiana: Holy cr--Is that a crypt? What is wrong with these people?
The U.S. needs to look into the Louisiana Refund.
The U.S. needs to look into the Louisiana Refund.
New Hampshire: It took me a while to realize what was wrong here: the Alabama of New England has their House set up like a high school auditorium.
Do they have a law against writing things down? And does everyone in New Hampshire meet or just the representatives and their immediate families?
Do they have a law against writing things down? And does everyone in New Hampshire meet or just the representatives and their immediate families?
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
New Hampshire: It took me a while to realize what was wrong here: the Alabama of New England has their House set up like a high school auditorium.
Do they have a law against writing things down? And does everyone in New Hampshire meet or just the representatives and their immediate families?
Do they have a law against writing things down? And does everyone in New Hampshire meet or just the representatives and their immediate families?
Georgia: Wow, I'm still recovering from Indiana...
I get a sense that in Georgia, everything is *perfect* and *exactly* how it should be so legislation isn’t necessary.
And you know how you go to some states and find fashions still in use that were outdated years ago back home? This is that state.
I get a sense that in Georgia, everything is *perfect* and *exactly* how it should be so legislation isn’t necessary.
And you know how you go to some states and find fashions still in use that were outdated years ago back home? This is that state.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Georgia: Wow, I'm still recovering from Indiana...
I get a sense that in Georgia, everything is *perfect* and *exactly* how it should be so legislation isn’t necessary.
And you know how you go to some states and find fashions still in use that were outdated years ago back home? This is that state.
I get a sense that in Georgia, everything is *perfect* and *exactly* how it should be so legislation isn’t necessary.
And you know how you go to some states and find fashions still in use that were outdated years ago back home? This is that state.
Indiana: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA AHHHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA OH GOD HAHA HA I CAN'T BREATHE HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Indiana: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA AHHHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA OH GOD HAHA HA I CAN'T BREATHE HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA
Delaware: I think they stole this design from one of my middle-school art projects.
Honestly, what is with all the contrast? This chamber should include a warning for people at risk of seizures.
Honestly, what is with all the contrast? This chamber should include a warning for people at risk of seizures.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Delaware: I think they stole this design from one of my middle-school art projects.
Honestly, what is with all the contrast? This chamber should include a warning for people at risk of seizures.
Honestly, what is with all the contrast? This chamber should include a warning for people at risk of seizures.
Montana: Carpet by Jackson Pollock’s brother, Marvin (there was some confusion at the T-Mobile telegraph office.)
Also, the large mural of Indians and wolves isn’t a painting but a strange phenomenon where all the things Montana has killed spontaneously appear like the photograph in The Shining.
Also, the large mural of Indians and wolves isn’t a painting but a strange phenomenon where all the things Montana has killed spontaneously appear like the photograph in The Shining.
January 21, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Montana: Carpet by Jackson Pollock’s brother, Marvin (there was some confusion at the T-Mobile telegraph office.)
Also, the large mural of Indians and wolves isn’t a painting but a strange phenomenon where all the things Montana has killed spontaneously appear like the photograph in The Shining.
Also, the large mural of Indians and wolves isn’t a painting but a strange phenomenon where all the things Montana has killed spontaneously appear like the photograph in The Shining.