Brian M. Milton
@munchkinstein.bsky.social
Short, rumpled Scotsman. Has a terrible pain in all the diodes down his left hand side.
Not on social media as much as he used to be but if he is, it will be occasional writing and a lot of stupid bollocks.
He/Him
https://munchkinstein.co.uk
Not on social media as much as he used to be but if he is, it will be occasional writing and a lot of stupid bollocks.
He/Him
https://munchkinstein.co.uk
The boy stood on the burning deck,
A string of sausages around his neck.
A baked potato in his eye,
There he stood, ready to die.
Not sure, but I suspect this version was by the Maths teacher who wrote the school pantomimes I was in.
A string of sausages around his neck.
A baked potato in his eye,
There he stood, ready to die.
Not sure, but I suspect this version was by the Maths teacher who wrote the school pantomimes I was in.
Which lines of poetry live rent-free in your head?
December 7, 2025 at 8:57 AM
The boy stood on the burning deck,
A string of sausages around his neck.
A baked potato in his eye,
There he stood, ready to die.
Not sure, but I suspect this version was by the Maths teacher who wrote the school pantomimes I was in.
A string of sausages around his neck.
A baked potato in his eye,
There he stood, ready to die.
Not sure, but I suspect this version was by the Maths teacher who wrote the school pantomimes I was in.
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
A study published by The British Medical Journal has shown that if there is a new Doctor Who episode broadcast during the period from Christmas to New Year’s Day, the UK sees a lower mortality rate the following year.
December 6, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Good morning and a very happy Sea Devil Sunday to all who celebrate.
Rando Who side project The War Between The Land And The Sea starts tonight but there's also an unnecessary omnibus of The Sea Devils on the iPlayer if you can't be arsed with the original six episodes.
#DoctorWho
Rando Who side project The War Between The Land And The Sea starts tonight but there's also an unnecessary omnibus of The Sea Devils on the iPlayer if you can't be arsed with the original six episodes.
#DoctorWho
December 7, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Good morning and a very happy Sea Devil Sunday to all who celebrate.
Rando Who side project The War Between The Land And The Sea starts tonight but there's also an unnecessary omnibus of The Sea Devils on the iPlayer if you can't be arsed with the original six episodes.
#DoctorWho
Rando Who side project The War Between The Land And The Sea starts tonight but there's also an unnecessary omnibus of The Sea Devils on the iPlayer if you can't be arsed with the original six episodes.
#DoctorWho
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
I live in Wales and today received my Join Us letter from Reform UK, complete with SAE which I posted back to them, immediately, empty. If every other person in Wales did this, Reform would spend over £1.5 million on postage. Not sorry. Join me Cymru.
December 6, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I live in Wales and today received my Join Us letter from Reform UK, complete with SAE which I posted back to them, immediately, empty. If every other person in Wales did this, Reform would spend over £1.5 million on postage. Not sorry. Join me Cymru.
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
My takeaway from the World Cup draw is this - give Trump a made-up award & he becomes nearly human. Let’s give Trump a made-up award every day like an Advent calendar. Tomorrow - the Lanarkshire Orthodontist of the Year
December 6, 2025 at 1:40 PM
My takeaway from the World Cup draw is this - give Trump a made-up award & he becomes nearly human. Let’s give Trump a made-up award every day like an Advent calendar. Tomorrow - the Lanarkshire Orthodontist of the Year
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
![[Scene is a JOB INTERVIEW. The bosses taking the interview are FATHER and MOTHER CHRISTMAS. In the chair across the desk from is the interviewee: RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER, sitting legs crossed. Rudolph is effusive and expressive with his hands / hooves.]
RUDOLPH:
...and in addition to my sleigh-pulling experience, l just genuinely love working with other reindeer. I mean I'm a real 'reindeer reindeer' you know? Haha!
FATHER CHRISTMAS [Looking delighted]:
Wonderful! Well, I think we've found our candidate...
So, uh...
Rudolph with your nose so bright...
...won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
[A chilly pause. We focus on Rudolph, who folds his arms, looks away in silent fury, his nose casting light about the room as he does so. He drags his eyes back to Father Christmas, his expression now of pure, cold contempt.]
RUDOLPH:
So this is about my nose.
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
One of my bulbs has gone.
RUDOLPH:
Go to Halfords!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
It's closed till Tuesday.
RUDOLPH:
No, right, OK... I get it... this is like a narrative thing for you, isn't it?
[Rolling his eyes, gesticulating, getting more angry as he begins to rant]:
Like...powerful white male saves the shunned outsider by making a gimmick of their difference?
[We see Father and Mother Christmas looking awkward, a bit scared, askance at each other]
RUDOLPH:
So in your head, what, like, the other reindeer who've bullied me my whole life will suddenly start respecting Mr Fog Lamp up front?
[Rudolph is waving his hooves now]
I mean, I notice you haven't interviewed my AUNTY for this job. Rita the Red-Arsed Reindeer? She applied!
Her nose is even brighter than mine, but because the disease has spread to her ARSE she's not the right KIND of diversity mascot...
[Finally Rudolph stands up, knocking his chair backwards. Father Christmas looks shocked, Mother Christmas looks terrified.]
RUDOLPH:
This is BULLSHIT!
FATHER CHRISTMAS:
SECURITY...!
[A little Elf enters to tackle Rudolph]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreie3mb32pphq6abkfu4w62sikexg3dtwyw3qgcrfdcwhoi3o7gbleu@jpeg)
Good to see he's saying it.
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
John Swinney defends immigration as Scotland faces rise of Reform
Exclusive: First minister mounts robust defence of diversity as SNP prepares campaign for Holyrood election in May
www.theguardian.com
December 6, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Good to see he's saying it.
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
velociraptor = distanceraptor / timeraptor
December 5, 2025 at 5:10 PM
velociraptor = distanceraptor / timeraptor
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
On this front, a reminder that (in Scotland at least), people are very supportive of capping donations to political parties and supplementing / replacing it with per-vote based public funding. 60% supported public funding for parties and 51% selected options that *at least* capped private donations!
December 5, 2025 at 9:06 PM
On this front, a reminder that (in Scotland at least), people are very supportive of capping donations to political parties and supplementing / replacing it with per-vote based public funding. 60% supported public funding for parties and 51% selected options that *at least* capped private donations!
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
Oor Wullie: the Adult Years
🧵
Wullie joins an apprenticeship as a plasterer but is sacked due his constant tomfoolery and being off every Monday after a weekend on pills. He gets a job at Blockbuster and spends most of his day watching video nasties
🧵
Wullie joins an apprenticeship as a plasterer but is sacked due his constant tomfoolery and being off every Monday after a weekend on pills. He gets a job at Blockbuster and spends most of his day watching video nasties
December 5, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Oor Wullie: the Adult Years
🧵
Wullie joins an apprenticeship as a plasterer but is sacked due his constant tomfoolery and being off every Monday after a weekend on pills. He gets a job at Blockbuster and spends most of his day watching video nasties
🧵
Wullie joins an apprenticeship as a plasterer but is sacked due his constant tomfoolery and being off every Monday after a weekend on pills. He gets a job at Blockbuster and spends most of his day watching video nasties
Aww, aff tae fling a piece oot a windae in commemoration.
news.stv.tv/scotland/cre...
news.stv.tv/scotland/cre...
Creator of legendary Jeely Piece song dies aged 86
The folk singer had worked as a teacher and later became a bookseller.
news.stv.tv
December 5, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Aww, aff tae fling a piece oot a windae in commemoration.
news.stv.tv/scotland/cre...
news.stv.tv/scotland/cre...
Doing editing of short stories for "a thing" and I can only apologise to those who are getting my comments which, far too often, end up being "Sentence make brain go clung! Help explainy words of clever to dimmly me."
This thing is hard and you should be in awe of those who do it on the regular.
This thing is hard and you should be in awe of those who do it on the regular.
December 5, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Doing editing of short stories for "a thing" and I can only apologise to those who are getting my comments which, far too often, end up being "Sentence make brain go clung! Help explainy words of clever to dimmly me."
This thing is hard and you should be in awe of those who do it on the regular.
This thing is hard and you should be in awe of those who do it on the regular.
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
If anyone cares at all, EV battery recycling is now hitting 99% recovery for important metals
Please remind me again what the recycle rate for fossil fuels is
interestingengineering.com/energy/recyc...
Please remind me again what the recycle rate for fossil fuels is
interestingengineering.com/energy/recyc...
New recycling tech recovers nearly pure nickel and cobalt from old EV batteries
Researchers have developed an eco-friendly recycling tech that extracts 99 percent pure nickel and cobalt from waste batteries.
interestingengineering.com
December 5, 2025 at 12:17 AM
If anyone cares at all, EV battery recycling is now hitting 99% recovery for important metals
Please remind me again what the recycle rate for fossil fuels is
interestingengineering.com/energy/recyc...
Please remind me again what the recycle rate for fossil fuels is
interestingengineering.com/energy/recyc...
Ah yes, those nostalgic fun times of childhood when I had to run upstairs to turn the electric blanket on an hour before bed or else I'd be curling up into a tight ball under multiple blankets, unable to unroll because the only heat was generated by myself.
Also, ice on windows is never boring.
Also, ice on windows is never boring.
one fun thing about this graphic is that IT'S GOOD MOST PEOPLE DON'T REGULARLY DIE BY FREEZING TO DEATH IN THEIR HOMES AND WE SHOULD, AS A BROAD PROGRESSIVE MOVEMENT, BE ADVOCATING FOR LESS CARBON-INTENSIVE HEATING AND NOT ANPRIM 'YOU WILL FREEZE TO DEATH AND LIKE IT' BULLSHIT DRESSED UP AS 'COZY'
December 5, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Ah yes, those nostalgic fun times of childhood when I had to run upstairs to turn the electric blanket on an hour before bed or else I'd be curling up into a tight ball under multiple blankets, unable to unroll because the only heat was generated by myself.
Also, ice on windows is never boring.
Also, ice on windows is never boring.
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
Ah, somebody just randomly went and liked this, so I may as well give my Penguin covers thread a bump for new followers. 🧵👇🏻
December 4, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Ah, somebody just randomly went and liked this, so I may as well give my Penguin covers thread a bump for new followers. 🧵👇🏻
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
Lithgow wis better kennt in Lanark as Lugless Wull - his lugs haein been cuttit aff by the irate brithers o a lassie he’d had a liaison wi as a lad. In later life, when asked aboot the pain, he confessed that it could hae been meikle waur - it could have been a lot worse!!
Lithgow was the first Scottish travel writer. Poland was a favourite destination and a home from home:
"And for auspiciousness I may rather term it to be a mother and nurse for the youth and younglings of Scotland who are yearly sent hither in great numbers, than a proper Dame for her own birth..."
"And for auspiciousness I may rather term it to be a mother and nurse for the youth and younglings of Scotland who are yearly sent hither in great numbers, than a proper Dame for her own birth..."
Sir William Lithgow on 17th Scots in Poland. "Here I found abundance of gallant rich merchants, my countreymen who were all very kind to me, and so were they by the way in every place where I came, the conclusion being ever sealed with deep draughts and ‘God be with you’"
December 4, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Lithgow wis better kennt in Lanark as Lugless Wull - his lugs haein been cuttit aff by the irate brithers o a lassie he’d had a liaison wi as a lad. In later life, when asked aboot the pain, he confessed that it could hae been meikle waur - it could have been a lot worse!!
Thinking of all the booksellers now we're in December
youtu.be/lp3oW8_jf2I?...
youtu.be/lp3oW8_jf2I?...
If Book Titles were Honest
YouTube video by Foil Arms and Hog
youtu.be
December 4, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Thinking of all the booksellers now we're in December
youtu.be/lp3oW8_jf2I?...
youtu.be/lp3oW8_jf2I?...
It's Glesga, nae wean spiks Proaper Inglis lik this pudduck-coupend bawbag an yon's a guid hing.
2 in 3 of Nigel Farage’s current and former partners do not speak English as their first language.
December 4, 2025 at 8:03 AM
It's Glesga, nae wean spiks Proaper Inglis lik this pudduck-coupend bawbag an yon's a guid hing.
Make a movie better by adding John Carpenter's to the title:
John Carpenter's Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 AD
John Carpenter's Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 AD
John Carpenter's The Sting.
(It is, I promise you, a very different movie.)
(It is, I promise you, a very different movie.)
Make a movie better by adding John Carpenter's to the title:
December 3, 2025 at 8:05 AM
Make a movie better by adding John Carpenter's to the title:
John Carpenter's Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 AD
John Carpenter's Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 AD
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
Calling British short science-fiction writers who have had stories published this year - window closing soon for Best of British Science Fiction 2025. Get your story in under the door!
December 2, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Calling British short science-fiction writers who have had stories published this year - window closing soon for Best of British Science Fiction 2025. Get your story in under the door!
Oh to have a Coward version of the A-Team.
"I do so adore it when one's plans achieve fruition. Cup of tea?"
"I do so adore it when one's plans achieve fruition. Cup of tea?"
In Noel Coward’s screenplay for the pilot of The A-Team, Mr T’s catchphrase “quit your jibber jabber” was actually “kindly desist from your gibberish gabberish”
December 2, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Oh to have a Coward version of the A-Team.
"I do so adore it when one's plans achieve fruition. Cup of tea?"
"I do so adore it when one's plans achieve fruition. Cup of tea?"
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
Adding alt text to this because this is fucking amazing and everyone deserves to read it.
December 2, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Adding alt text to this because this is fucking amazing and everyone deserves to read it.
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
1 December is the day we must mark the sad passing 504 years ago of Giovanni di Lorenzo de’ Medici – or Pope Leo X, as he was also known. Leo was not one of those popes memorable for a sordid life, but is known for two things. Firstly, this:
December 1, 2025 at 9:13 AM
1 December is the day we must mark the sad passing 504 years ago of Giovanni di Lorenzo de’ Medici – or Pope Leo X, as he was also known. Leo was not one of those popes memorable for a sordid life, but is known for two things. Firstly, this:
Reposted by Brian M. Milton
It's my birthday!
As such, I'd like you to consider leaving a book review or preordering one - doesn't have to be one of mine. It really helps authors out.
Also, here is a photo of John Dee's obsidian scrying mirror, which I found cool.
As such, I'd like you to consider leaving a book review or preordering one - doesn't have to be one of mine. It really helps authors out.
Also, here is a photo of John Dee's obsidian scrying mirror, which I found cool.
December 1, 2025 at 9:08 AM
It's my birthday!
As such, I'd like you to consider leaving a book review or preordering one - doesn't have to be one of mine. It really helps authors out.
Also, here is a photo of John Dee's obsidian scrying mirror, which I found cool.
As such, I'd like you to consider leaving a book review or preordering one - doesn't have to be one of mine. It really helps authors out.
Also, here is a photo of John Dee's obsidian scrying mirror, which I found cool.