Nick Leonard
@nickdammit.bsky.social
Artist, comedian, writer, drag queen, bum.
I not only wear an analog watch, I use the glow from my cell phone to read my analog watch.
February 18, 2026 at 4:41 AM
I not only wear an analog watch, I use the glow from my cell phone to read my analog watch.
I say we just fast forward to the part with the bunker, the Lamppost and the trials.
February 18, 2026 at 12:19 AM
I say we just fast forward to the part with the bunker, the Lamppost and the trials.
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Announcer: This program is intended for mature audiences only
Me: HELL YEAH LET'S SEE THE TITS
Me: HELL YEAH LET'S SEE THE TITS
February 16, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Announcer: This program is intended for mature audiences only
Me: HELL YEAH LET'S SEE THE TITS
Me: HELL YEAH LET'S SEE THE TITS
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Contractor: So what features do you want for your parking lot?
Trader Joes: Too small. Hard to access. Counter-intuitive. Same as always
Trader Joes: Too small. Hard to access. Counter-intuitive. Same as always
February 9, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Contractor: So what features do you want for your parking lot?
Trader Joes: Too small. Hard to access. Counter-intuitive. Same as always
Trader Joes: Too small. Hard to access. Counter-intuitive. Same as always
My idea:
1: Hire one of those delivery robots.
2: Fart into it.
3: Have it delivered to someone.
4: Surprise!
I'm a genius.
1: Hire one of those delivery robots.
2: Fart into it.
3: Have it delivered to someone.
4: Surprise!
I'm a genius.
February 9, 2026 at 6:21 AM
My idea:
1: Hire one of those delivery robots.
2: Fart into it.
3: Have it delivered to someone.
4: Surprise!
I'm a genius.
1: Hire one of those delivery robots.
2: Fart into it.
3: Have it delivered to someone.
4: Surprise!
I'm a genius.
There's a nap for that.
February 9, 2026 at 6:18 AM
There's a nap for that.
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Antifa would be a beautiful girl's name
February 3, 2026 at 7:47 AM
Antifa would be a beautiful girl's name
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Just please don't let Grimace show up in the Epstein files
February 3, 2026 at 4:19 AM
Just please don't let Grimace show up in the Epstein files
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Doctor: Your wrist pain is from repetitive motion. Can you stop doing it at work?
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
March 20, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Doctor: Your wrist pain is from repetitive motion. Can you stop doing it at work?
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
[Cut to me doing the jerkoff gesture thru every conference call]
Me: Sadly, no
Reposted by Nick Leonard
I’m auctioning off this piece on Instagram! All proceeeds go to THE ADVOCATES FOR HUMAN RIGHTS in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Let’s show some love for our friends in this wonderful place !
January 26, 2026 at 8:31 PM
I’m auctioning off this piece on Instagram! All proceeeds go to THE ADVOCATES FOR HUMAN RIGHTS in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Let’s show some love for our friends in this wonderful place !
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Melania poster altered to say "my husband fucks kids"
January 26, 2026 at 5:55 AM
Melania poster altered to say "my husband fucks kids"
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Donald Trump has sued his accusers, employees and associates over 4,000 times.
He has sued for defamation 34 times since 2015.
He has never sued anyone for calling him a pedophile.
He has sued for defamation 34 times since 2015.
He has never sued anyone for calling him a pedophile.
January 25, 2026 at 5:50 PM
Donald Trump has sued his accusers, employees and associates over 4,000 times.
He has sued for defamation 34 times since 2015.
He has never sued anyone for calling him a pedophile.
He has sued for defamation 34 times since 2015.
He has never sued anyone for calling him a pedophile.
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Comics retailing legend Greg Ketter standing up to ICE in Minneapolis. Yes, that's tear gas. He's 70 years old.
January 25, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Comics retailing legend Greg Ketter standing up to ICE in Minneapolis. Yes, that's tear gas. He's 70 years old.
Reposted by Nick Leonard
don’t make me come over there and boost your confidence. I will fucking lift your ass up because you’re worth it, motherfucker
February 1, 2024 at 5:13 AM
don’t make me come over there and boost your confidence. I will fucking lift your ass up because you’re worth it, motherfucker
Reposted by Nick Leonard
A reminder to the news media: “conflicting accounts” is what you say BEFORE the incontrovertible video evidence appears. After that, your job is to ask why one side is lying, not to repeat the lie and pretend no one knows the truth.
January 25, 2026 at 12:28 PM
A reminder to the news media: “conflicting accounts” is what you say BEFORE the incontrovertible video evidence appears. After that, your job is to ask why one side is lying, not to repeat the lie and pretend no one knows the truth.
Reposted by Nick Leonard
ICE detained a 2-year-old girl in Minneapolis and put the child on a flight to a detention center in Texas, despite a court ordering her release: www.startribune.com/agents-detai...
January 24, 2026 at 12:29 AM
ICE detained a 2-year-old girl in Minneapolis and put the child on a flight to a detention center in Texas, despite a court ordering her release: www.startribune.com/agents-detai...
Reposted by Nick Leonard
this administration is actual real evil. how can anyone approve of this
ICE has detained a 2-year-old girl in Minneapolis, despite a judge ordering the baby’s release.
January 24, 2026 at 1:56 AM
this administration is actual real evil. how can anyone approve of this
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Anyone who approves of ICE is broken or evil or both. No exceptions
January 24, 2026 at 4:32 AM
Anyone who approves of ICE is broken or evil or both. No exceptions
Reposted by Nick Leonard
My favorite thing about JD Vance is that nobody likes him
January 24, 2026 at 7:45 AM
My favorite thing about JD Vance is that nobody likes him
Reposted by Nick Leonard
If 2016 Donald Trump were to meet 2026 Donald Trump, the younger guy would make mocking tasteless jokes about the older, dying guy
January 24, 2026 at 3:43 PM
If 2016 Donald Trump were to meet 2026 Donald Trump, the younger guy would make mocking tasteless jokes about the older, dying guy
Reposted by Nick Leonard
Nuremberg trials for ICE is the moderate position
January 24, 2026 at 4:01 PM
Nuremberg trials for ICE is the moderate position
Reposted by Nick Leonard
I wonder how many Democratic politicians expected to answer the question 'what did you do to fight the fascists?' with "In the spirit of bipartisan cooperation, I voted to fund the Gestapo"
January 23, 2026 at 11:28 PM
I wonder how many Democratic politicians expected to answer the question 'what did you do to fight the fascists?' with "In the spirit of bipartisan cooperation, I voted to fund the Gestapo"
Reposted by Nick Leonard
[releases helium-filled heart balloon]
Me: You're free now
Balloon: Ima choke a bird
Me: You're free now
Balloon: Ima choke a bird
May 17, 2025 at 6:12 PM
[releases helium-filled heart balloon]
Me: You're free now
Balloon: Ima choke a bird
Me: You're free now
Balloon: Ima choke a bird