John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
@notsimonhempsp.bsky.social
A real, honest, undecided, neutral and patriotic citizen of Rimouski-Neigette-Témiscouata-Les Basques who is 100% not the Honorable @simonhempsp.bsky.social from the same riding.
Mpsp parody
Mpsp parody
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
The Jedi revolt continues… Today we learn that MP Ng has lost the courage he showed when he spoke out against the N.F. tariffs. He’s chosen to stay in caucus in exchange for a finance critic role — hardly a first choice for his leader, but he’ll settle for leftovers.
He isn’t worth the heat!
He isn’t worth the heat!
December 12, 2025 at 9:57 PM
The Jedi revolt continues… Today we learn that MP Ng has lost the courage he showed when he spoke out against the N.F. tariffs. He’s chosen to stay in caucus in exchange for a finance critic role — hardly a first choice for his leader, but he’ll settle for leftovers.
He isn’t worth the heat!
He isn’t worth the heat!
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
La révolte Jedi se poursuit… On apprend aujourd’hui que le député Ng a perdu le courage qu’il affichait lorsqu’il dénonçait les tarifs de la N.F. Il a choisi de rester au caucus en échange d’un poste de critique aux Finances: loin d’être le premier choix de sa cheffe, mais il se contente des restes.
December 12, 2025 at 9:58 PM
La révolte Jedi se poursuit… On apprend aujourd’hui que le député Ng a perdu le courage qu’il affichait lorsqu’il dénonçait les tarifs de la N.F. Il a choisi de rester au caucus en échange d’un poste de critique aux Finances: loin d’être le premier choix de sa cheffe, mais il se contente des restes.
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Funny how the “Second Best” party is talking, the only thing y’all are moving forward is y’alls feed on Bluesky
Go touch snow 🤷♂️
We are actually moving forward the COLDEST budget that will Make the Arctic Great Again 🥶
But will Trevor the Traitor support Canada first or NF first as finance critic?
Go touch snow 🤷♂️
We are actually moving forward the COLDEST budget that will Make the Arctic Great Again 🥶
But will Trevor the Traitor support Canada first or NF first as finance critic?
December 13, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Funny how the “Second Best” party is talking, the only thing y’all are moving forward is y’alls feed on Bluesky
Go touch snow 🤷♂️
We are actually moving forward the COLDEST budget that will Make the Arctic Great Again 🥶
But will Trevor the Traitor support Canada first or NF first as finance critic?
Go touch snow 🤷♂️
We are actually moving forward the COLDEST budget that will Make the Arctic Great Again 🥶
But will Trevor the Traitor support Canada first or NF first as finance critic?
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Good news: The Jedis finally recognize what’s at stake.
Bad news: The Leader’s courage apparently didn’t get the memo.
•••
Bonne nouvelle: Les Jedis reconnaissent enfin ce qui est en jeu.
Mauvaise nouvelle: Le courage de la Cheffe, lui, n’a visiblement pas reçu le mémo.
Bad news: The Leader’s courage apparently didn’t get the memo.
•••
Bonne nouvelle: Les Jedis reconnaissent enfin ce qui est en jeu.
Mauvaise nouvelle: Le courage de la Cheffe, lui, n’a visiblement pas reçu le mémo.
December 10, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Good news: The Jedis finally recognize what’s at stake.
Bad news: The Leader’s courage apparently didn’t get the memo.
•••
Bonne nouvelle: Les Jedis reconnaissent enfin ce qui est en jeu.
Mauvaise nouvelle: Le courage de la Cheffe, lui, n’a visiblement pas reçu le mémo.
Bad news: The Leader’s courage apparently didn’t get the memo.
•••
Bonne nouvelle: Les Jedis reconnaissent enfin ce qui est en jeu.
Mauvaise nouvelle: Le courage de la Cheffe, lui, n’a visiblement pas reçu le mémo.
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Give it to the Jedi Leader for pushing away a member who disagreed with her over the Timbits tariffs from N.F.
Why the cover up, Mackenzie ?
•••
Il n’y a que la Cheffe Jedi pour écarter un député à la suite d’un désaccord sur les tarifs N.F contre nos timbits.
Que cachez-vous, Mackenzie ?
Why the cover up, Mackenzie ?
•••
Il n’y a que la Cheffe Jedi pour écarter un député à la suite d’un désaccord sur les tarifs N.F contre nos timbits.
Que cachez-vous, Mackenzie ?
December 11, 2025 at 5:25 AM
Give it to the Jedi Leader for pushing away a member who disagreed with her over the Timbits tariffs from N.F.
Why the cover up, Mackenzie ?
•••
Il n’y a que la Cheffe Jedi pour écarter un député à la suite d’un désaccord sur les tarifs N.F contre nos timbits.
Que cachez-vous, Mackenzie ?
Why the cover up, Mackenzie ?
•••
Il n’y a que la Cheffe Jedi pour écarter un député à la suite d’un désaccord sur les tarifs N.F contre nos timbits.
Que cachez-vous, Mackenzie ?
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Already busy standing up for all Canadians since we are:
AXING THE TAX 🪓
BUILDING THE IGLOOS 🧊
FIGHTING THE TARIFFS 💸
BUILDING THE WALL 🧱
FREEZING THE DEBT ❄️
In under 67 days we have done more for Canadians by delivering a GENERATIONAL budget than the Radical Jedi-Preschoolers will ever do
AXING THE TAX 🪓
BUILDING THE IGLOOS 🧊
FIGHTING THE TARIFFS 💸
BUILDING THE WALL 🧱
FREEZING THE DEBT ❄️
In under 67 days we have done more for Canadians by delivering a GENERATIONAL budget than the Radical Jedi-Preschoolers will ever do
December 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Already busy standing up for all Canadians since we are:
AXING THE TAX 🪓
BUILDING THE IGLOOS 🧊
FIGHTING THE TARIFFS 💸
BUILDING THE WALL 🧱
FREEZING THE DEBT ❄️
In under 67 days we have done more for Canadians by delivering a GENERATIONAL budget than the Radical Jedi-Preschoolers will ever do
AXING THE TAX 🪓
BUILDING THE IGLOOS 🧊
FIGHTING THE TARIFFS 💸
BUILDING THE WALL 🧱
FREEZING THE DEBT ❄️
In under 67 days we have done more for Canadians by delivering a GENERATIONAL budget than the Radical Jedi-Preschoolers will ever do
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
More than the Jedi’s will ever have 🤷♂️
Quite ironic that the NF puppet Shadow Minister of Finance who DIDN’T even mention ONCE the NF tariffs in their platform is talking about puppets
Why is “Treacherous” Trevor never mentioning that he got over 67M$ from CNFPAC? 🤔
Quite ironic that the NF puppet Shadow Minister of Finance who DIDN’T even mention ONCE the NF tariffs in their platform is talking about puppets
Why is “Treacherous” Trevor never mentioning that he got over 67M$ from CNFPAC? 🤔
December 7, 2025 at 3:14 AM
More than the Jedi’s will ever have 🤷♂️
Quite ironic that the NF puppet Shadow Minister of Finance who DIDN’T even mention ONCE the NF tariffs in their platform is talking about puppets
Why is “Treacherous” Trevor never mentioning that he got over 67M$ from CNFPAC? 🤔
Quite ironic that the NF puppet Shadow Minister of Finance who DIDN’T even mention ONCE the NF tariffs in their platform is talking about puppets
Why is “Treacherous” Trevor never mentioning that he got over 67M$ from CNFPAC? 🤔
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Jedi Party to-do list:
❌ Have more than 67 seats
❌ Fix the economy
❌ Not being in the Sith files
❌ Stop being NF puppets
✅ Being the smallest opposition party in history
✅ Only argument that they were ever relevant is when they were considered for the PPC
Is this the best that NF can buy? 🤔
❌ Have more than 67 seats
❌ Fix the economy
❌ Not being in the Sith files
❌ Stop being NF puppets
✅ Being the smallest opposition party in history
✅ Only argument that they were ever relevant is when they were considered for the PPC
Is this the best that NF can buy? 🤔
December 7, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Jedi Party to-do list:
❌ Have more than 67 seats
❌ Fix the economy
❌ Not being in the Sith files
❌ Stop being NF puppets
✅ Being the smallest opposition party in history
✅ Only argument that they were ever relevant is when they were considered for the PPC
Is this the best that NF can buy? 🤔
❌ Have more than 67 seats
❌ Fix the economy
❌ Not being in the Sith files
❌ Stop being NF puppets
✅ Being the smallest opposition party in history
✅ Only argument that they were ever relevant is when they were considered for the PPC
Is this the best that NF can buy? 🤔
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
This is the first time an official opposition is THIS FAAAAAR (-50) behind the governing party. You’ve achieved the worst score any Opposition Leader has had in 25 years of MPSP while I achieved the biggest as PM.
Thank you Minister @simonhempsp.bsky.social for building the Polar movement.
Thank you Minister @simonhempsp.bsky.social for building the Polar movement.
December 7, 2025 at 2:29 AM
This is the first time an official opposition is THIS FAAAAAR (-50) behind the governing party. You’ve achieved the worst score any Opposition Leader has had in 25 years of MPSP while I achieved the biggest as PM.
Thank you Minister @simonhempsp.bsky.social for building the Polar movement.
Thank you Minister @simonhempsp.bsky.social for building the Polar movement.
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Kinda funny how the number 2 choice of Canadians are talking rn
Last time that I went to the house I haven’t seen y’all on the government benches 🥱
Matter of fact I haven’t seen y’all anywhere except in the halls of NF 🤷♂️
Last time that I went to the house I haven’t seen y’all on the government benches 🥱
Matter of fact I haven’t seen y’all anywhere except in the halls of NF 🤷♂️
lol. He offered me Finance Minister too. Looks like, Simon wasn’t even the number 2 choice.
December 7, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Kinda funny how the number 2 choice of Canadians are talking rn
Last time that I went to the house I haven’t seen y’all on the government benches 🥱
Matter of fact I haven’t seen y’all anywhere except in the halls of NF 🤷♂️
Last time that I went to the house I haven’t seen y’all on the government benches 🥱
Matter of fact I haven’t seen y’all anywhere except in the halls of NF 🤷♂️
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
The Jedi mind tricks will not work on the hard working people of Canada. Our party is moving forward with our plans come January and no amount of jedi mind tricks will prevent us from making Canada Cold Again! #ViveleFroid
December 6, 2025 at 11:57 PM
The Jedi mind tricks will not work on the hard working people of Canada. Our party is moving forward with our plans come January and no amount of jedi mind tricks will prevent us from making Canada Cold Again! #ViveleFroid
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Truth nuke
December 7, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Truth nuke
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
If anything, I’ll make you the minister of AI because that’s AI right there…
My first & only option for minister of Finance and National Frozen Revenue was & will always be Doctor @simonhempsp.bsky.social. His experience speaks for itself I’m looking forward to Jedis voting for his budget.
My first & only option for minister of Finance and National Frozen Revenue was & will always be Doctor @simonhempsp.bsky.social. His experience speaks for itself I’m looking forward to Jedis voting for his budget.
December 6, 2025 at 11:30 PM
If anything, I’ll make you the minister of AI because that’s AI right there…
My first & only option for minister of Finance and National Frozen Revenue was & will always be Doctor @simonhempsp.bsky.social. His experience speaks for itself I’m looking forward to Jedis voting for his budget.
My first & only option for minister of Finance and National Frozen Revenue was & will always be Doctor @simonhempsp.bsky.social. His experience speaks for itself I’m looking forward to Jedis voting for his budget.
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Glad to see a Jedi member finally acknowledge that New Frengland is a real threat.
Too bad his leader remains silent, even as our Tim Hortons workers face a 67% tariff on Timbits productivity.
👇👇👇
Too bad his leader remains silent, even as our Tim Hortons workers face a 67% tariff on Timbits productivity.
👇👇👇
Me and the ever-independent @brandonlympsp.bsky.social in a bipartisan meeting with two international governance consultants discussing how to deal with the New Frengland threat. They are currently wanted by Belgium for tipping 14.9% on the bill.
December 3, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Glad to see a Jedi member finally acknowledge that New Frengland is a real threat.
Too bad his leader remains silent, even as our Tim Hortons workers face a 67% tariff on Timbits productivity.
👇👇👇
Too bad his leader remains silent, even as our Tim Hortons workers face a 67% tariff on Timbits productivity.
👇👇👇
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
AFTER CAREFUL REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION WITH THE OPPOSITION PARTIES, MY GOVERNMENT HAS DECIDED NOT TO PUBLISH THE SITH FILES IN OUR FIRST MANDATE AND WILL CEASE FURTHER COMMENTARY ON THE SUBJECT.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
December 6, 2025 at 3:22 AM
AFTER CAREFUL REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION WITH THE OPPOSITION PARTIES, MY GOVERNMENT HAS DECIDED NOT TO PUBLISH THE SITH FILES IN OUR FIRST MANDATE AND WILL CEASE FURTHER COMMENTARY ON THE SUBJECT.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
What a great choice to not release the SITH HOAX (which I’m not in)
I’ve always been the loudest opponent of releasing the files. We need to protect the privacy of those who are in it (which I’m not)
And anyways they don’t exist
But if it did, they aren’t that bad
And the Jedi are in there more
I’ve always been the loudest opponent of releasing the files. We need to protect the privacy of those who are in it (which I’m not)
And anyways they don’t exist
But if it did, they aren’t that bad
And the Jedi are in there more
AFTER CAREFUL REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION WITH THE OPPOSITION PARTIES, MY GOVERNMENT HAS DECIDED NOT TO PUBLISH THE SITH FILES IN OUR FIRST MANDATE AND WILL CEASE FURTHER COMMENTARY ON THE SUBJECT.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
December 6, 2025 at 8:27 AM
What a great choice to not release the SITH HOAX (which I’m not in)
I’ve always been the loudest opponent of releasing the files. We need to protect the privacy of those who are in it (which I’m not)
And anyways they don’t exist
But if it did, they aren’t that bad
And the Jedi are in there more
I’ve always been the loudest opponent of releasing the files. We need to protect the privacy of those who are in it (which I’m not)
And anyways they don’t exist
But if it did, they aren’t that bad
And the Jedi are in there more
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Wanted to precise that I am totally NOT in the files btw 🙅
December 6, 2025 at 8:28 AM
Wanted to precise that I am totally NOT in the files btw 🙅
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Thank you, Canada, merci!
Highest seat count in 24 years of MPSP. A strong historic mandate. I’ll give my best each day to build Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
•••
Plus grand nombre de sièges en 24 ans de MPSP. Mandat fort historique. Je donnerai mon meilleur chaque jour pour bâtir un Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
Highest seat count in 24 years of MPSP. A strong historic mandate. I’ll give my best each day to build Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
•••
Plus grand nombre de sièges en 24 ans de MPSP. Mandat fort historique. Je donnerai mon meilleur chaque jour pour bâtir un Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
November 23, 2025 at 2:45 AM
Thank you, Canada, merci!
Highest seat count in 24 years of MPSP. A strong historic mandate. I’ll give my best each day to build Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
•••
Plus grand nombre de sièges en 24 ans de MPSP. Mandat fort historique. Je donnerai mon meilleur chaque jour pour bâtir un Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
Highest seat count in 24 years of MPSP. A strong historic mandate. I’ll give my best each day to build Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
•••
Plus grand nombre de sièges en 24 ans de MPSP. Mandat fort historique. Je donnerai mon meilleur chaque jour pour bâtir un Canada Cool. 🆒🇨🇦
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
SAVE THE DATE — our new Polar cabinet will be sworn in on January 11! We’re ready to build #CanadaCool ❄️🇨🇦
•••
RÉSERVEZ LA DATE — notre nouveau cabinet Polaire sera assermenté le 11 Janvier! On est prêt à bâtir un #CanadaCool ❄️🇨🇦
•••
RÉSERVEZ LA DATE — notre nouveau cabinet Polaire sera assermenté le 11 Janvier! On est prêt à bâtir un #CanadaCool ❄️🇨🇦
November 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
SAVE THE DATE — our new Polar cabinet will be sworn in on January 11! We’re ready to build #CanadaCool ❄️🇨🇦
•••
RÉSERVEZ LA DATE — notre nouveau cabinet Polaire sera assermenté le 11 Janvier! On est prêt à bâtir un #CanadaCool ❄️🇨🇦
•••
RÉSERVEZ LA DATE — notre nouveau cabinet Polaire sera assermenté le 11 Janvier! On est prêt à bâtir un #CanadaCool ❄️🇨🇦
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Truth nuke!!!
December 1, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Truth nuke!!!
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Canada, meet your future Finance Minister and your…Future Shadow Finance Minister.
@simonhempsp.bsky.social
@simonhempsp.bsky.social
November 30, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Canada, meet your future Finance Minister and your…Future Shadow Finance Minister.
@simonhempsp.bsky.social
@simonhempsp.bsky.social
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
I would like the Opposition to know that I do IN-FACT own an air fryer and won’t accept these baseless lies
But do you know what I have and they don’t?
An actual degree in Economics
A plan for our country
Motion
Not being in the Sith files and able to be in proximity of young Padawan academies
But do you know what I have and they don’t?
An actual degree in Economics
A plan for our country
Motion
Not being in the Sith files and able to be in proximity of young Padawan academies
Another member of the Laurentian elite expected to represent everyday Canadians.
As a simple goy from the Prairies, you can expect me to stand up for the little guy against people educated by the New Frenglish.
Additionally, Minister He does not own an air fryer.
As a simple goy from the Prairies, you can expect me to stand up for the little guy against people educated by the New Frenglish.
Additionally, Minister He does not own an air fryer.
Canada, meet your future Finance Minister and your…Future Shadow Finance Minister.
@simonhempsp.bsky.social
@simonhempsp.bsky.social
December 1, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I would like the Opposition to know that I do IN-FACT own an air fryer and won’t accept these baseless lies
But do you know what I have and they don’t?
An actual degree in Economics
A plan for our country
Motion
Not being in the Sith files and able to be in proximity of young Padawan academies
But do you know what I have and they don’t?
An actual degree in Economics
A plan for our country
Motion
Not being in the Sith files and able to be in proximity of young Padawan academies
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Also suspicious that he hasn’t commented on the Sith files yet 🤔
I am hearing rumors that he was maybe even on the spaceship to the Sith planet with those Padawans 🤢
Just how deep is the RADICAL Jedi-Preschool deep state?
#FirePartisanGGRyanChang
#ReleaseTheSithFiles
I am hearing rumors that he was maybe even on the spaceship to the Sith planet with those Padawans 🤢
Just how deep is the RADICAL Jedi-Preschool deep state?
#FirePartisanGGRyanChang
#ReleaseTheSithFiles
He granted royal assent to Canada’s worst law “Quanah’s Cold Tax Bill C-2” and now he’s upset Canadians voted for change after the Preschool-Jedis’ 6-7 years in office.
If you want to fire the partisan Preschool-Jedi GG @rchangmpsp.bsky.social, complete this survey: fire-partisan-GG-RyanChang.ca.
If you want to fire the partisan Preschool-Jedi GG @rchangmpsp.bsky.social, complete this survey: fire-partisan-GG-RyanChang.ca.
November 27, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Also suspicious that he hasn’t commented on the Sith files yet 🤔
I am hearing rumors that he was maybe even on the spaceship to the Sith planet with those Padawans 🤢
Just how deep is the RADICAL Jedi-Preschool deep state?
#FirePartisanGGRyanChang
#ReleaseTheSithFiles
I am hearing rumors that he was maybe even on the spaceship to the Sith planet with those Padawans 🤢
Just how deep is the RADICAL Jedi-Preschool deep state?
#FirePartisanGGRyanChang
#ReleaseTheSithFiles
Reposted by John Citizen (Totally Not Simon He)
Uhm based? Based and snowpilled even?
Shut the fuck up Trevor Ng! I am very incredibly unfamiliar with you and your work, but I dislike you immensely and would never be you ever.
Signed, Iammabad Aktor
Signed, Iammabad Aktor
Very concerning! Someone tell the Parliamentary Budget Officer that if volunteers are scamming the PPC, the PPC are scamming Canada!
November 27, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Uhm based? Based and snowpilled even?