Two Phones Haver
@ocbf.bsky.social
One for the bluesky and one for the load!!
Pinned
Hit Google with a topic so abstruse they said Fuck it Give him Lou Costello
January 11, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Hit Google with a topic so abstruse they said Fuck it Give him Lou Costello
Fellas I need answers
January 10, 2026 at 8:21 AM
Fellas I need answers
HEARTBREAKING: Kindest Person You've Spoken To All Week Wants You To Go To Church With Them
January 10, 2026 at 4:54 AM
HEARTBREAKING: Kindest Person You've Spoken To All Week Wants You To Go To Church With Them
he said some shit the other day when I was like Yeah I drfw true crime & he said "of course ur a man so u don't have to study this stuff" I was like Huh. Interesting thing to say
failson tboy coworker is on some weird feminist YouTube, brought up Reiner to be like “lol maybe now that FATHERS are dying in family annihilation incidents men will actually DO something”
like yeah bro my thoughts exactly
like yeah bro my thoughts exactly
January 10, 2026 at 4:13 AM
he said some shit the other day when I was like Yeah I drfw true crime & he said "of course ur a man so u don't have to study this stuff" I was like Huh. Interesting thing to say
ALAN WAKE: And thats when i realized.......... The only way to escape the Fart Place ......... was to Huff my Own Fumes
*FEMUR BREAKER SCREAM*
Fuckass Epic achievement noise: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhNZ...
*FEMUR BREAKER SCREAM*
Fuckass Epic achievement noise: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhNZ...
epic games achievement sound
YouTube video by Picolas
www.youtube.com
January 9, 2026 at 2:10 AM
ALAN WAKE: And thats when i realized.......... The only way to escape the Fart Place ......... was to Huff my Own Fumes
*FEMUR BREAKER SCREAM*
Fuckass Epic achievement noise: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhNZ...
*FEMUR BREAKER SCREAM*
Fuckass Epic achievement noise: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhNZ...
Dude I need to get an air freshener or something it smells like the dentists trash can in here
January 8, 2026 at 10:29 PM
Dude I need to get an air freshener or something it smells like the dentists trash can in here
Guy just tried to hand me a one and a five that were genuinely riddled with black mold and was scandalized when I turned it down
January 8, 2026 at 10:06 PM
Guy just tried to hand me a one and a five that were genuinely riddled with black mold and was scandalized when I turned it down
Posting in your chat
I never never want to get banned
Because I love the streamer
Very much
I never never want to get banned
Because I love the streamer
Very much
January 8, 2026 at 8:14 PM
Posting in your chat
I never never want to get banned
Because I love the streamer
Very much
I never never want to get banned
Because I love the streamer
Very much
guy sees my name tag and sez Strongest man in de bible ey and I'm like Oh no wrong sam I just hear voices. Get bible mogged pussy
January 8, 2026 at 8:10 PM
guy sees my name tag and sez Strongest man in de bible ey and I'm like Oh no wrong sam I just hear voices. Get bible mogged pussy
I don't drink
I don't pee
I do nothing but eat and poo
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
I don't pee
I do nothing but eat and poo
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
January 8, 2026 at 7:05 PM
I don't drink
I don't pee
I do nothing but eat and poo
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
I don't pee
I do nothing but eat and poo
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
My kidneys going to fail
detects instability
January 8, 2026 at 6:26 AM
detects instability
do not vote for any Democrat that has ever said "there is a crisis at our border" because this is the result of that
January 7, 2026 at 9:45 PM
do not vote for any Democrat that has ever said "there is a crisis at our border" because this is the result of that
Oh shit nevermind
Ken Cosgrove a stone cold chiller. I don’t think I could fw anyone at SCDP but Kenny’s a clean hang
January 7, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Oh shit nevermind
I'll be so frwu it does not feel soft as a misting rain rn
January 7, 2026 at 9:30 PM
I'll be so frwu it does not feel soft as a misting rain rn
coworker watched a yt short suggesting that McDonald's doesn't have enough beef to sell unadulterated hamburgers so they gotta put sawdust or some shit in there
January 7, 2026 at 8:42 PM
coworker watched a yt short suggesting that McDonald's doesn't have enough beef to sell unadulterated hamburgers so they gotta put sawdust or some shit in there
Best lib dynamic goin on rn is folks saying "leave me out of your fear porn I voted for the lady" to people who believe that voting is a largely symbolic action and the easiest part of the work ahead
January 7, 2026 at 8:37 PM
Best lib dynamic goin on rn is folks saying "leave me out of your fear porn I voted for the lady" to people who believe that voting is a largely symbolic action and the easiest part of the work ahead
I believe the ice agent was fearing for his life but that's because they're all giant pussies hooked up to content IVs telling them they should be scared to ride the bus near a black person
January 7, 2026 at 7:04 PM
I believe the ice agent was fearing for his life but that's because they're all giant pussies hooked up to content IVs telling them they should be scared to ride the bus near a black person
It's time
Gunna - Who You Foolin (Alternative Intro + OG Tong Li Sample) (TRANSITIONED TO PERFECTION)
YouTube video by needlewon.
youtu.be
January 7, 2026 at 5:18 PM
It's time
Reposted by Two Phones Haver
If Dems aren't throwing fireballs and making this into the biggest story ever, dump all of them. If any piece of shit in office talks about lowering costs instead of "Trump is taking over countries and ice is killing Americans on the street," they're in on it. And let em know if it's your Rep or Sen
Someone who claims to have witnessed the incident says
- car was blocking ice
- they told them to move
- "something happened'
- ICE shot into the car as it was driving away
- passenger got out of the car covered away and said friend was dead
There is video and I have seen it
- car was blocking ice
- they told them to move
- "something happened'
- ICE shot into the car as it was driving away
- passenger got out of the car covered away and said friend was dead
There is video and I have seen it
January 7, 2026 at 4:58 PM
If Dems aren't throwing fireballs and making this into the biggest story ever, dump all of them. If any piece of shit in office talks about lowering costs instead of "Trump is taking over countries and ice is killing Americans on the street," they're in on it. And let em know if it's your Rep or Sen
It has become ideologically imperative that you git gud
Sony has patented an AI gaming ghost that will play PlayStation games for you when you get stuck www.eurogamer.net/sony-has-pat...
January 7, 2026 at 5:16 PM
It has become ideologically imperative that you git gud
Someones bio on here said their politics were "FDR dem crossed with Teddy republican" & i think they should really reconsider what the overlap of those two positions implies
January 6, 2026 at 9:59 PM
Someones bio on here said their politics were "FDR dem crossed with Teddy republican" & i think they should really reconsider what the overlap of those two positions implies
furries mod the Nintendo to beat their shit at double speed and think they're in Paris is burning
January 6, 2026 at 4:15 PM
furries mod the Nintendo to beat their shit at double speed and think they're in Paris is burning
I'm so dumb I thought that movie was about a Marty with tomatoes & sour cream
January 6, 2026 at 3:26 AM
I'm so dumb I thought that movie was about a Marty with tomatoes & sour cream
Lady gets me to pump her gas and then tells me to go to church (pro tip: don't) but I googled the name & this shit came up rofl
January 4, 2026 at 10:48 PM
Lady gets me to pump her gas and then tells me to go to church (pro tip: don't) but I googled the name & this shit came up rofl