Author | Lightnews

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 10h

Getting body dysmorphia because when I exhale through my nose it goes straight forward instead of down into two distinct puffs of steam like in a cartoon

1

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 3d

Saw a child with haunted eyes walking in the park, muttering to himself "Six seven, six seven. Six plus six is seven. Seven plus seven is six." like Jim Carrey in The Number 23

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 4d

Is it a fit or is he just Sensei Sergio?

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 7d

Special watch that uses mood ring technology to add the words "Only" or "Already" before the time depending on how you feel

3

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 9d

Shark Tale could not be here today, so accepting the award on their behalf is Adrian Brody in character as a Jamaican jellyfish

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 9d

The 2025 nominees for Animated Movie From Roughly 20 Years Ago That Are Funny To Remember And Make Posts About Online are:

Monster House (~2005)

Surf's Up (~2005)

Happy Feet (~2005)

Robots (~2005)

And the winner is...

Shark Tale (~2005)

1 1

Reposted by Ken🔪ny

🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪 @murderxbryan.bsky.social · 9d

Reading a thread about AI in marketing and one of the marketing guys is like “I hate to see marketing turn soulless”

9 21 270

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 11d

Accidentally watched two werewolf movies in a row that were both released in 1981 and both have scenes in porno theaters

Letterboxd Recent activity showing the posters for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem, An American Werewolf in London, The Howling, and Slumber Party Massacre

2

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 13d

For Sale: Sticker Collection, Never found the right water bottle

2

Reposted by Ken🔪ny

JF @jessefarrar.com · 13d

TattBuddy -- the only AI app that scans your body to check for nazi tattoos before you launch a Senate campaign. gimme like $250k and ill do this. or at least pretend to try

2 9 140

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 16d

Guy who thinks sunflowers are called "Some flowers"

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 21d

Keep catching myself clapping like the Thing in the fantastic four trailer every time I cook

1

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 22d

Merlin Bird ID but for identifying the match three game this guy at the gym is playing at full volume

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 23d

Skittles selling their own freeze dried candy is an attack on county fairs everywhere. It's like if Uncle Ben started selling rice that already had your name written on it.

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 25d

I searched "horror marathon Seattle" and the results were all 5Ks and one theater playing one movie.

2

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 28d

Just sent out my application to be one of the guys who comments "Metal whisk on a glass bowl?? 😬🙄" under every Instagram recipe wish me luck

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · 29d

Fostering peeves until I can find them a forever home

1

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · Sep 30

You know she's gonna be a star because she's got that Tom Cruise middle tooth

Arron Automata @arrontk.bsky.social · Sep 30

We are cooked.

1

Reposted by Ken🔪ny

correcting typo and derailing riff @stefanheck.bsky.social · Sep 27

Hm. This might be the single most evil TV show of all time.

13 23 430

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · Sep 23

I need a role model, but for, like, what clothes to wear

1

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · Sep 19

Guy who thinks the movie Push is actually called Pusher and it's in the same cinematic universe as Jumper and Looper and also that's his favorite cinematic universe

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · Sep 18

Asking the ambulance to drop me off a block away from the hospital so the other patients don't make fun of me

1

Reposted by Ken🔪ny

Alex P. 👹 @saddestrobots.bsky.social · Sep 18

no censorship regime is powerful enough to stop you from adding "charlie kirk coffin flop" to your glorious mind palace

2 13 78

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · Sep 17

Yu-Gi-Oh de Bergerac

Ken🔪ny @occamsfrasier.bsky.social · Sep 17

You know I'm... something of a hack myself

Lila Byock @lbyock.bsky.social · Sep 16

New meme just dropped

Jean Smart silently disassociating while David Zaslav mansplains and invades her personal space.

6