Oolon Coluphid
@ooloncoluphid.bsky.social
Check out my bestselling books: “Where God Went Wrong”, “Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes”, and the newest one: “Who Is This God Person Anyway?”.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Mockler: Do you agree with Kristi Noem’s characterization that she made, like an hour after Alex Pretti was murdered?
Seat: Can you just wait until the investigation is done?
Mockler: That's such a good point. Can you say that to Kristi Noem?
Seat: Can you just wait until the investigation is done?
Mockler: That's such a good point. Can you say that to Kristi Noem?
January 31, 2026 at 3:46 AM
Mockler: Do you agree with Kristi Noem’s characterization that she made, like an hour after Alex Pretti was murdered?
Seat: Can you just wait until the investigation is done?
Mockler: That's such a good point. Can you say that to Kristi Noem?
Seat: Can you just wait until the investigation is done?
Mockler: That's such a good point. Can you say that to Kristi Noem?
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.
January 30, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there
January 29, 2026 at 9:34 PM
friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
“If they showed [the Melania documentary] on a plane, people would still walk out."
- Variety
- Variety
January 30, 2026 at 8:20 AM
“If they showed [the Melania documentary] on a plane, people would still walk out."
- Variety
- Variety
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
![3-panel comic. (1) [Three small arthropods on ocean floor.] ARTHROPOD 1: Now that we’re multicellular, what are your plans? I’m gonna evolve little legs and swim around with them! ARTHROPOD 2: I’m gonna evolve sharp pincers and use them to crunch stuff! ARTHROPOD 3: I’m gonna evolve glands to make string from my butt and use it to construct elaborate geometric nets hundreds of times my size to catch other animals. (2) [Silence] (3) ARTHROPOD 1: *Dude.* ARTHROPOD 2: Can you *please* just be normal about this? ARTHROPOD 3: *What??!*](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreia3p425asp237hjolbn5lly6g6hzm2eoygqjpkd5dii6zrwqnp7qi@jpeg)
January 28, 2026 at 7:57 PM
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Wouldn’t have made it out of the VEEP writers room
January 26, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Wouldn’t have made it out of the VEEP writers room
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
The people who spent years defending and even lionizing Kyle Rittenhouse and Ashli Babbitt now want us to believe that an unarmed mother in her car and a disarmed nurse were domestic terrorists who deserved to be murdered by law enforcement.
January 25, 2026 at 4:26 AM
The people who spent years defending and even lionizing Kyle Rittenhouse and Ashli Babbitt now want us to believe that an unarmed mother in her car and a disarmed nurse were domestic terrorists who deserved to be murdered by law enforcement.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Thank God there were people filming. This administration would have said Alex Pretti pulled a handgun, a package of fentanyl, and a signed copy of the Communist Manifesto if they could.
January 25, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Thank God there were people filming. This administration would have said Alex Pretti pulled a handgun, a package of fentanyl, and a signed copy of the Communist Manifesto if they could.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
“Get it all on record now — get the films — get the witnesses — because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened.”
Dwight D. Eisenhower, after visiting liberated concentration camps in April 1945
Dwight D. Eisenhower, after visiting liberated concentration camps in April 1945
January 24, 2026 at 9:24 PM
“Get it all on record now — get the films — get the witnesses — because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened.”
Dwight D. Eisenhower, after visiting liberated concentration camps in April 1945
Dwight D. Eisenhower, after visiting liberated concentration camps in April 1945
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
The Americans are useless, if they don't get out on the streets by the millions, you're no different than the Germans during the Holocaust. A bunch of self absorbed consumer driven tweebs.
January 20, 2026 at 9:02 PM
The Americans are useless, if they don't get out on the streets by the millions, you're no different than the Germans during the Holocaust. A bunch of self absorbed consumer driven tweebs.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Most tone-deaf take of the day goes to the Telegraph (again).
January 20, 2026 at 5:03 PM
Most tone-deaf take of the day goes to the Telegraph (again).
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
I cannot tell you how absolutely infuriatingly this stuff comes across to Europeans.
When we say America is no longer a reliable ally, it goes considerably deeper than Donald Trump himself. This kind of complacent, condescending shit is a *huge* part of it.
When we say America is no longer a reliable ally, it goes considerably deeper than Donald Trump himself. This kind of complacent, condescending shit is a *huge* part of it.
Newsom: "It was remarkably boring. It was remarkably insignificant. He was never going invade Greenland. It was never real."
January 21, 2026 at 4:22 PM
I cannot tell you how absolutely infuriatingly this stuff comes across to Europeans.
When we say America is no longer a reliable ally, it goes considerably deeper than Donald Trump himself. This kind of complacent, condescending shit is a *huge* part of it.
When we say America is no longer a reliable ally, it goes considerably deeper than Donald Trump himself. This kind of complacent, condescending shit is a *huge* part of it.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
A joke for the history buffs.
January 20, 2026 at 12:39 AM
A joke for the history buffs.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
80 yrs later it’s happening here in the USA
January 20, 2026 at 7:44 PM
80 yrs later it’s happening here in the USA
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Heute morgen hat Trump Norwegen mit Krieg gedroht.
Am Mittag freut sich Friedrich Merz auf Trumps Besuch in Rheinland-Pfalz.
Wir werden von Clowns regiert.
Am Mittag freut sich Friedrich Merz auf Trumps Besuch in Rheinland-Pfalz.
Wir werden von Clowns regiert.
January 19, 2026 at 2:19 PM
Heute morgen hat Trump Norwegen mit Krieg gedroht.
Am Mittag freut sich Friedrich Merz auf Trumps Besuch in Rheinland-Pfalz.
Wir werden von Clowns regiert.
Am Mittag freut sich Friedrich Merz auf Trumps Besuch in Rheinland-Pfalz.
Wir werden von Clowns regiert.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Indeed. This letter provides future historians with irrefutable evidence of Trump’s insanity.
January 19, 2026 at 5:59 PM
Indeed. This letter provides future historians with irrefutable evidence of Trump’s insanity.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland.
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
January 17, 2026 at 5:36 PM
More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland.
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
The classy move would have been to give Machado the FIFA Peace Prize in return.
January 16, 2026 at 11:07 AM
The classy move would have been to give Machado the FIFA Peace Prize in return.
A Nobel Prize cannot be revoked, shared, or transferred - Nobel Peace Prize
www.nobelpeaceprize.org
January 16, 2026 at 8:10 PM
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Because of Trump's “Big Beautiful Bill,” the annual ICE budget — at $28 billion — is now larger than the annual budgets of the FBI, DEA, ATF, U.S. Marshals Service and the Bureau of Prisons COMBINED.
No. The American people do not want Trump's domestic army.
No. The American people do not want Trump's domestic army.
January 15, 2026 at 6:52 PM
Because of Trump's “Big Beautiful Bill,” the annual ICE budget — at $28 billion — is now larger than the annual budgets of the FBI, DEA, ATF, U.S. Marshals Service and the Bureau of Prisons COMBINED.
No. The American people do not want Trump's domestic army.
No. The American people do not want Trump's domestic army.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
Being a good Christian must be measured in deeds, not symbols.
January 15, 2026 at 8:30 PM
Being a good Christian must be measured in deeds, not symbols.
Reposted by Oolon Coluphid
‘Washington Post’ Publishes Editorial Defending FBI Raid On Its Reporter https://theonion.com/washington-post-publishes-editorial-defending-fbi-raid-on-its-reporter/
January 15, 2026 at 8:20 PM
‘Washington Post’ Publishes Editorial Defending FBI Raid On Its Reporter https://theonion.com/washington-post-publishes-editorial-defending-fbi-raid-on-its-reporter/