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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰

@paintnpdx.bsky.social

560 followers 550 following 4.6K posts

Downtown Pdx florist. Going Floral Blog Hubby/Dad Science/Skepticism Blazers/Raiders/Aces. No. 1 reply guy posting too much shit. Black Lives Matter (he/him)

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · Mar 9

Repeating my request that @trailblazers.bsky.social make the video and audio from this clip into the intro for every tv and radio broadcast until we have another championship to celebrate.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 16h

Best wishes! I had a shot for my knee and it worked out great. Hoping it goes well for you.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 16h

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 19h

Office today:

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 22h

I think chances are good for cool and showery conditions at least through the first half of the work week. 🤞

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 22h

This weekend’s weather pattern is somewhat interesting as an atypical cold front is moving toward us from the NE. Generally that is how we get very rare Arctic air outbreaks during winter months. Of course the air isn’t cold enough yet to be anything extreme. But is it a sign of things to come..??

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 22h

It’s really up in the air (no pun intended). Portland proper is due for a snowless winter. We’ve had measurable snow I think 10 years in a row now which is a record. But climate change has made abnormal and outlier weather more common so it’s really no telling

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Lots of chatter in weather groups lately about the extreme warm anomaly in much of the North Pacific. One analysis was compelling to me. It speculated the N Pacific High and dip in the jet might set up a little westward of normal putting us closer to the cold side in this image.

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Reposted by The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰

Sheriff of Portland @sheriffofportland.bsky.social · 1d

I got 3 tickets to join the Third Bench in 317 available for fridays preseason game come take em.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Burning the *checks notes* 4-o’clock oil to finish up preparations for tomorrow’s wedding. I can’t even explain to you how gobsmacked I am by the colors and textures. Absolute peak wedding flower season in my opinion.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t think you’ll even have to try very hard. It just comes naturally with sick threads like these.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Not a Seattle fan but you know I’m a weather nerd so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to grab this “Doppler” mascot Funko from our homies at @backtothebasket.bsky.social

It officially starts my weather trinkets and merch collection.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

The Mt. Hood shots are incredible. Nice job Blazers photographer (Bruce?)

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Get a few extras to those games, build community and have an outlet for your unused/unwanted tix. And still get full STH benefits. It’s rad, my 41 tickets are concentrated on 17 games several of which I allocate for friends/family. Very little to no waste.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Hear that! Games can be tough to get to. If you ever decide to reconsider, our @thethirdbench.bsky.social group has a workaround for that: ticket draft. Just buy one season ticket in the group and pick just games that align with your schedule to attend.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Yes there’s two eyeglass shops in Portland. Hard to believe isn’t it?

Reposted by The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰

Ryan Whitledge @thewhittyryan.bsky.social · 1d

Guess we need to throw everybody who gets a speeding ticket directly in jail and ship them off to a foreign country 🤷‍♂️

I’m-Thinking @kaysmythe.bsky.social · 1d

There is a process for seeking asylum. The gotaways run from border guards and are acting illegally. They are also unvetted.
They think they are better than everyone else and can cut the line. They illegally entered the country and are in fact criminals. Get it?

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Beware all ye who enter Portland and its many dangers* await.

*A beauty bar, an eyeglass shop, an eyeglass shop, a chocolatier, a romance bookstore, a trolly and a man carrying a bouquet of flowers

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

It’s funny because you just assume these superstars hasve cap experts on their teams (I would assume at least) but it very much sounds like they’re just dialing up trade machine 😆

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

WTF? They should have safeguards in place to prevent that. Heinous. 😡

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

I’ll do my best! But usually I only post when something piques my interest 😂

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

I just changed my windshield wipers. Not sure if that helps or hurts.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

I’ll be at the Oregon AMS winter weather outlook meeting at OMSI in a couple weeks where local mets take a stab at it. They have varying methodologies using data like ocean temps, and comparing recent years and seasons to “analog” years. A lot of work goes in and it’s fun, but still a guess.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

I’ve seen a lot of guesses already and some clickbait snow maps which are genuine model output but are misleading due to “resolution bleed.” (Long range global models run on 36km grid resolution meaning they see PDX and the cascades all blended together).

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

Seasonal outlook maps look pretty average for temp & precip. But beyond about a two weeks anything specific is just a guessing game as it’s really just an average of the whole time period and any one event can just get swallowed up in the data.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 2d

The past few days models have been consistent in showing an end to late summer-like conditions and an abrupt start to the rainy season. A low pressure system drops in from the NW to impact our area for the remainder of the week. By this time next week we’ll see snow caps on all local volcanos.

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