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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰

@paintnpdx.bsky.social

560 followers 550 following 4.6K posts

Downtown Pdx florist. Going Floral Blog Hubby/Dad Science/Skepticism Blazers/Raiders/Aces. No. 1 reply guy posting too much shit. Black Lives Matter (he/him)

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · Mar 9

Repeating my request that @trailblazers.bsky.social make the video and audio from this clip into the intro for every tv and radio broadcast until we have another championship to celebrate.

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Reposted by The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰

Sheriff of Portland @sheriffofportland.bsky.social · 8h

I got 3 tickets to join the Third Bench in 317 available for fridays preseason game come take em.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 14h

Burning the *checks notes* 4-o’clock oil to finish up preparations for tomorrow’s wedding. I can’t even explain to you how gobsmacked I am by the colors and textures. Absolute peak wedding flower season in my opinion.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 15h

I don’t think you’ll even have to try very hard. It just comes naturally with sick threads like these.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 16h

Not a Seattle fan but you know I’m a weather nerd so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to grab this “Doppler” mascot Funko from our homies at @backtothebasket.bsky.social

It officially starts my weather trinkets and merch collection.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 17h

The Mt. Hood shots are incredible. Nice job Blazers photographer (Bruce?)

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 18h

Get a few extras to those games, build community and have an outlet for your unused/unwanted tix. And still get full STH benefits. It’s rad, my 41 tickets are concentrated on 17 games several of which I allocate for friends/family. Very little to no waste.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 18h

Hear that! Games can be tough to get to. If you ever decide to reconsider, our @thethirdbench.bsky.social group has a workaround for that: ticket draft. Just buy one season ticket in the group and pick just games that align with your schedule to attend.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 18h

Yes there’s two eyeglass shops in Portland. Hard to believe isn’t it?

Reposted by The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰

Ryan Whitledge @thewhittyryan.bsky.social · 18h

Guess we need to throw everybody who gets a speeding ticket directly in jail and ship them off to a foreign country 🤷‍♂️

I’m-Thinking @kaysmythe.bsky.social · 22h

There is a process for seeking asylum. The gotaways run from border guards and are acting illegally. They are also unvetted.
They think they are better than everyone else and can cut the line. They illegally entered the country and are in fact criminals. Get it?

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 18h

Beware all ye who enter Portland and its many dangers* await.

*A beauty bar, an eyeglass shop, an eyeglass shop, a chocolatier, a romance bookstore, a trolly and a man carrying a bouquet of flowers

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 23h

It’s funny because you just assume these superstars hasve cap experts on their teams (I would assume at least) but it very much sounds like they’re just dialing up trade machine 😆

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 23h

WTF? They should have safeguards in place to prevent that. Heinous. 😡

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I’ll do my best! But usually I only post when something piques my interest 😂

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I just changed my windshield wipers. Not sure if that helps or hurts.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I’ll be at the Oregon AMS winter weather outlook meeting at OMSI in a couple weeks where local mets take a stab at it. They have varying methodologies using data like ocean temps, and comparing recent years and seasons to “analog” years. A lot of work goes in and it’s fun, but still a guess.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve seen a lot of guesses already and some clickbait snow maps which are genuine model output but are misleading due to “resolution bleed.” (Long range global models run on 36km grid resolution meaning they see PDX and the cascades all blended together).

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Seasonal outlook maps look pretty average for temp & precip. But beyond about a two weeks anything specific is just a guessing game as it’s really just an average of the whole time period and any one event can just get swallowed up in the data.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

The past few days models have been consistent in showing an end to late summer-like conditions and an abrupt start to the rainy season. A low pressure system drops in from the NW to impact our area for the remainder of the week. By this time next week we’ll see snow caps on all local volcanos.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Taking notes. This is good stuff.

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The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Ugh. Does your system screen mirror? If not a cheap Roku or Fire stick can run the nba app.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I had a friend a longtime ago who looked exactly like the Gordon’s fisherman which is also what I assume lighthouse keepers look like.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Hercule Poirot reporting for duty.

a man in a tuxedo is looking through a magnifying glass at a piece of paper .

ALT: a man in a tuxedo is looking through a magnifying glass at a piece of paper .

media.tenor.com

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

Thanks! Planning to tune in soon.

The Tortured Florist Department 🍉🍎🌺⛓️⏰ @paintnpdx.bsky.social · 1d

I cleaned up in hs science bowl freshman year back in 1994 by knowing what every web and internet related acronym stood for. The hosts of the contest were apparently big tech nerds of their day.