Parentball
@parentball.bsky.social
Parenting humor. Dumb jokes. Dumber puns.
Humor writing: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/authors/michael-ward & https://medium.com/@mikeward08 & https://www.pointsincase.com/author/michael-ward
Building a game for parents: www.parentball.com (Reboots in 2026)
Humor writing: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/authors/michael-ward & https://medium.com/@mikeward08 & https://www.pointsincase.com/author/michael-ward
Building a game for parents: www.parentball.com (Reboots in 2026)
Pinned
Parentball
@parentball.bsky.social
· Jan 3
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
*ATTENTION!!! SUMMER CAMP REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN, REGISTER NOW NOW NOW, QUICK LOGIN TO THE CAMP EZ-REG PORTAL TOO LATE NOW IT’S CLOSED & EVERYTHING IS FULL YOU’RE TOO LATE*
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
#parenting
*ATTENTION!!! SUMMER CAMP REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN, REGISTER NOW NOW NOW, QUICK LOGIN TO THE CAMP EZ-REG PORTAL TOO LATE NOW IT’S CLOSED & EVERYTHING IS FULL YOU’RE TOO LATE*
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
#parenting
Little Dribblers basketball working against math lessons with each game having anywhere from 2 to 5 quarters
January 24, 2026 at 3:25 PM
Little Dribblers basketball working against math lessons with each game having anywhere from 2 to 5 quarters
6yo, after briefly helping with one (1) clean-up task: Why does it feel like I’m the only one doing the clean-up?
January 23, 2026 at 12:45 AM
6yo, after briefly helping with one (1) clean-up task: Why does it feel like I’m the only one doing the clean-up?
6yo really manifesting getting a cat
January 21, 2026 at 1:50 AM
6yo really manifesting getting a cat
Scrolling the news right before bed…
Now I lay me down to sleep,
When I wake, I’ll prob’ly weep,
‘Cuz every day in recent past,
Has proved dumber than the last.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
When I wake, I’ll prob’ly weep,
‘Cuz every day in recent past,
Has proved dumber than the last.
January 20, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Scrolling the news right before bed…
Now I lay me down to sleep,
When I wake, I’ll prob’ly weep,
‘Cuz every day in recent past,
Has proved dumber than the last.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
When I wake, I’ll prob’ly weep,
‘Cuz every day in recent past,
Has proved dumber than the last.
Reposted by Parentball
Couldn't care less if Thread has a billion users and Blue Sky has 1000. I just need a steam vent where I can release whatever dumb jokes and observations enter my brain without contributing to the financial success of Musk or Zuck. Give me 2-34 likes on every one of these and I'm good.
July 7, 2023 at 11:43 PM
Couldn't care less if Thread has a billion users and Blue Sky has 1000. I just need a steam vent where I can release whatever dumb jokes and observations enter my brain without contributing to the financial success of Musk or Zuck. Give me 2-34 likes on every one of these and I'm good.
Kids’ observational skills when comparing items received: HOW COME THEY GOT 42 POTATO CHIPS AND I ONLY GOT 41 ?!?!
Kids’ observational skills when trying to find their shoes that are in the same place they always are: DAADDDDD, WHERE ARE MY SHOESSSSS ?!?!
Kids’ observational skills when trying to find their shoes that are in the same place they always are: DAADDDDD, WHERE ARE MY SHOESSSSS ?!?!
January 20, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Kids’ observational skills when comparing items received: HOW COME THEY GOT 42 POTATO CHIPS AND I ONLY GOT 41 ?!?!
Kids’ observational skills when trying to find their shoes that are in the same place they always are: DAADDDDD, WHERE ARE MY SHOESSSSS ?!?!
Kids’ observational skills when trying to find their shoes that are in the same place they always are: DAADDDDD, WHERE ARE MY SHOESSSSS ?!?!
Ah yes, they call this heifer wisin’
January 19, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Ah yes, they call this heifer wisin’
Reposted by Parentball
Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
January 19, 2026 at 5:04 PM
Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools
Reposted by Parentball
I recently learned that the number of Baha Men fluctuates. There have historically been as many as 18 Baha Men. As of this date, there are nine, ten, or eleven Baha Men depending on what source you check. Even their own website is vague about how many Baha Men are currently in the Baha Men.
January 19, 2026 at 2:23 AM
I recently learned that the number of Baha Men fluctuates. There have historically been as many as 18 Baha Men. As of this date, there are nine, ten, or eleven Baha Men depending on what source you check. Even their own website is vague about how many Baha Men are currently in the Baha Men.
The kids had a fight a week ago that led to them each requiring the other to have a “room pass” to enter their bedroom. Now these are traded regularly for goods and services. They accidentally invented money! Gonna take on the role of the central bank and teach ‘em about monetary policy
January 18, 2026 at 7:31 PM
The kids had a fight a week ago that led to them each requiring the other to have a “room pass” to enter their bedroom. Now these are traded regularly for goods and services. They accidentally invented money! Gonna take on the role of the central bank and teach ‘em about monetary policy
Little Dribblers basketball is the platonic ideal of little kid sports chaos (complimentary)
January 17, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Little Dribblers basketball is the platonic ideal of little kid sports chaos (complimentary)
Not now, mysterious bar-shaped cloud of iron inside an iconic nebula. Read the room!
A distinctive nebula inside the constellation Lyra holds a never-before-seen cloud of iron atoms—and researchers aren’t sure why
Astronomers Spot Mysterious Bar-Shaped Cloud of Iron Inside an Iconic Nebula
A distinctive nebula inside the constellation Lyra holds a never-before-seen cloud of iron atoms—and researchers aren’t sure why
www.scientificamerican.com
January 16, 2026 at 6:29 PM
Not now, mysterious bar-shaped cloud of iron inside an iconic nebula. Read the room!
Old wise wolf to young wolf: There are two Wooly Rhinos inside you…
In the stomach of a mummified wolf pup, scientists find DNA from a woolly rhinoceros
Researchers were able to sequence the full genome from the 14,000-year-old chunk of preserved woolly rhinoceros meat.
www.nbcnews.com
January 16, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Old wise wolf to young wolf: There are two Wooly Rhinos inside you…
Could whoever has the remote for 2026 hit Skip Intro please?
January 15, 2026 at 3:19 AM
Could whoever has the remote for 2026 hit Skip Intro please?
Wicked awesome. Remahkably good job. Only a few errahs
youtu.be/FhC76xAq7oE?...
youtu.be/FhC76xAq7oE?...
Three Guys from Boston (Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jimmy) Say Every Town and City in Massachusetts
YouTube video by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
youtu.be
January 14, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Wicked awesome. Remahkably good job. Only a few errahs
youtu.be/FhC76xAq7oE?...
youtu.be/FhC76xAq7oE?...
6yo added eyes and named it Stapleton
January 11, 2026 at 2:44 PM
6yo added eyes and named it Stapleton
That can’t be right
January 11, 2026 at 3:39 AM
That can’t be right
Took our kids to the site of our first date (Grendel’s Den), just about 20 years later. Insane time warp feel
January 11, 2026 at 12:02 AM
Took our kids to the site of our first date (Grendel’s Den), just about 20 years later. Insane time warp feel
*pulling up to 6yo’s Little Dribblers basketball blasting Rock N’ Roll Part 2*
January 10, 2026 at 2:55 PM
*pulling up to 6yo’s Little Dribblers basketball blasting Rock N’ Roll Part 2*
No, *YOU* restarted Golden after the kids got out of the car at school and blasted it loudly and maybe sang along with a few parts of it and then got a little embarrassed when I, I mean, YOU drove by someone you knew
January 9, 2026 at 1:17 PM
No, *YOU* restarted Golden after the kids got out of the car at school and blasted it loudly and maybe sang along with a few parts of it and then got a little embarrassed when I, I mean, YOU drove by someone you knew
What I said: Ok, kids, time to go brush your teeth
What my kids heard: Ok, kids, time to drop, spit, splash, and spatter as much toothpaste as you can on the sink, counter, and floor
What my kids heard: Ok, kids, time to drop, spit, splash, and spatter as much toothpaste as you can on the sink, counter, and floor
January 9, 2026 at 4:15 AM
What I said: Ok, kids, time to go brush your teeth
What my kids heard: Ok, kids, time to drop, spit, splash, and spatter as much toothpaste as you can on the sink, counter, and floor
What my kids heard: Ok, kids, time to drop, spit, splash, and spatter as much toothpaste as you can on the sink, counter, and floor
Reposted by Parentball
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
*ATTENTION!!! SUMMER CAMP REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN, REGISTER NOW NOW NOW, QUICK LOGIN TO THE CAMP EZ-REG PORTAL TOO LATE NOW IT’S CLOSED & EVERYTHING IS FULL YOU’RE TOO LATE*
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
#parenting
*ATTENTION!!! SUMMER CAMP REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN, REGISTER NOW NOW NOW, QUICK LOGIN TO THE CAMP EZ-REG PORTAL TOO LATE NOW IT’S CLOSED & EVERYTHING IS FULL YOU’RE TOO LATE*
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
#parenting
January 3, 2025 at 1:27 AM
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
*ATTENTION!!! SUMMER CAMP REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN, REGISTER NOW NOW NOW, QUICK LOGIN TO THE CAMP EZ-REG PORTAL TOO LATE NOW IT’S CLOSED & EVERYTHING IS FULL YOU’RE TOO LATE*
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
#parenting
*ATTENTION!!! SUMMER CAMP REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN, REGISTER NOW NOW NOW, QUICK LOGIN TO THE CAMP EZ-REG PORTAL TOO LATE NOW IT’S CLOSED & EVERYTHING IS FULL YOU’RE TOO LATE*
*dead of winter – everything is cold, quiet, and dark*
#parenting
*BREAKING* You've made it through the first Tuesday of 2026
January 7, 2026 at 2:12 AM
*BREAKING* You've made it through the first Tuesday of 2026
2026 is like the open ocean extending ahead of us
a cartoon chicken with big eyes and a pink head
ALT: a cartoon chicken with big eyes and a pink head
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 1:25 PM
2026 is like the open ocean extending ahead of us
Many people* said it couldn't be done. Others** said it would be a complete disaster. Still others*** wept openly. But we did it. We survived the first Monday of 2026! Congratulations!
* You and I
** Also you and I
*** Yep, us again
* You and I
** Also you and I
*** Yep, us again
January 5, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Many people* said it couldn't be done. Others** said it would be a complete disaster. Still others*** wept openly. But we did it. We survived the first Monday of 2026! Congratulations!
* You and I
** Also you and I
*** Yep, us again
* You and I
** Also you and I
*** Yep, us again