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Crooked Union Guy

@peezytx.bsky.social

790 followers 160 following 880 posts

Gov’t name: Pat Sirois. Comedian/Co-Host of The Lie, Cheat & Steal podcast

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · Sep 2

These are the dumbest thoughts and ideas I’ve ever heard (a list in no particular order that I will add to as new entries occur to me):

1) when right wing media wants to paint Bernie Sanders as a super rich elite so they mention those 3 little ass house be owns

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 1d

Goddamn. Yeah this is more tense

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 1d

Hahahahahahaha like “the stakes are just so high man”

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 1d

Watching that Task show and it’s pretty dope. I wanna keep watching but there is a twist at the end of the first episode that is just stressful lol like the idea of having to deal with what happened in real life made me want to smoke a cig and pace

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 1d

I DM’d Tilly Norwood and she replied back. Quick. 😉

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Too not-racist for twitter
Too ugly for Instagram
Too stupid to die

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

911 operator: 911 what’s your emergency?

Me: I’m high and I can’t stop eating popcorn

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Always a great addition to the team

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

lol accidentally saying bitch five words in and apologizing off beat

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

My old roommate worked in medical insurance hiring and she would always try to sell me on the idea of using LinkedIn for comedy promotion and I was like girl I cannot overstate how all good on that I am

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah don’t go nowhere. Dig your heels in. Fuck em

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Hell yeah. Well I’m happy I get to see you on here being yourself. Always rooting for you. Also yeah I deleted Facebook off my phone but could go thru using fb links in messenger and use the browser version. Finally that stopped and I’m treating it like a clean break

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Well I’m also glad I see you on here too. But I totally get wanting to bounce. It sucks cuz I jumped ship on twitter but ended up seeing a bunch of my friends here because they felt comfortable. Crazy that don’t see the value of a space that’s not a non stop argument about basic human rights

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Poor and ugly is the greatest white friend of all: Me. Your friend.
Pat Sirois.

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

The key to having non-shitty white friends is that they can either be really attractive or well off financially but not both. Hot and broke? That’s a good time. Uggo with rich parents? They got a lot of love to give. Hot and wealthy? That’s a Kennedy. They’re gonna drive you off a bridge.

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Thanks!

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

Heard that. Well, love seeing you here in the meantime homie! Hope you been good

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 2d

You gon have to shoot me Mike 😉

I’m kidding that fuckin sucks man

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 3d

Goddamn it. I just wanted a text based app so I can post my little dumb jokes and screen shot it and post it on IG. Also wanted it to not be ran by transphobe shit heels. You plan on dipping out?

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 3d

I see that some folks are pissed at the bluesky lady. What’s the backstory on that?

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 3d

Maybe get the jubilee guys down there to film the whole thing. Get a bunch of other future evil babies in the circle. I’d 100% tap dance around all those little fuckers

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 3d

Gonna go back in time and debate hitler as a baby

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Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 4d

This video predicted the future:

idiots posturing as experts, disconnected from reality, having their pseudoscientific opinions amplified by the media with zero push back, seeing it debunked in real time at the cost of human harm and there’s no correction issued

youtu.be/98mBl9d0dew?...

Hilarious!!! Jogger Tells TV Reporter 'snow is 'perfect for running' and falls on HER BUTT Live

YouTube video by Trending Today

youtu.be

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 5d

Man that new Superman fuckin rips

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 6d

Me in England stoned trying to buy munchies but also earnestly trying to get along: Hey man yall got crisps?

Crooked Union Guy @peezytx.bsky.social · 7d

That guy who drinks his son’s blood so he can look forever 41 sure is something. Does his son see him and be like “looking good, Dad.” To be polite?