A friend showed me this screenshot and I started cackling, I was staining my tongue three different colors with OtterPops in 1998 are you fucking kidding me

When you are absolutely not mad, sweaty, nude, red, malding, seething, coping, bootyupset, steaming, frustrated, or angry online:

Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest.

The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says.

"I could smell the onions and mustard."

Big day at U.S. District Court in D.C. where Sean Dunn, the D.C. Sandwich Guy, is on trial for misdemeanor assault of a federal officer.

Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore is on the stand narrating surveillance video of the sammie toss.

'Now he’s struck me with the sandwich,' Lairmore says.

Laura Loomer is now officially part of the Pentagon press corps.

We live in Idiocracy.

いいおしりの日

In my second of two opinion writing seminars for MPP students today, I was asked about getting canceled in the future over writing today. I immediately responded with my deeply held belief that only The Chicks ever have been canceled. 3 of the 65 people laughed; everyone else was very confused.

Charlie Kirk's wife posted a video saying she told her kid that "daddy is on a work trip with Jesus"

When the worst we had to worry about was the Vice President shooting someone in the face, and making them apologize for getting shot in the face.