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Reposted by Wanda Sykes

Trollman @trollman.bsky.social · 14d

Just curious what do you think DHS is going to do with all those ice agents once all the immigrants are rounded up? Massive layoffs? Doubtful. They will just turn their attention to another group that they have decided to demonize and they will go down the list until they get to you. Bet on it

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Reposted by Wanda Sykes

Melissa Nadia Viviana 🐸🐝🦄 @resistrebelrevolt.net · Sep 5

Johnson says Trump was an FBI informant against Epstein.

Informants have inside knowledge of criminals & their organizations.

They're not undercover. THEY ALREADY HAVE ACCESS.

Half are low-level criminals who could go to jail for their crimes but give the FBI a bigger fish to avoid prosecution.

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Reposted by Wanda Sykes

Rex Huppke @rexhuppke.bsky.social · Sep 5

So either this "Trump was an FBI mole spying on Epstein!" bit is what they're actually going with and Mike Johnson's late-Friday comment was planned, or...Johnson just said something unbelievably stupid and now Trump's ability to cover up Epstein stuff and make it go away has been kneecapped.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Triple snap, extra salty, and a dash of holy hell:
Keep rebooting your nonsense, I’ll keep calling it what it is—fiction for the feeble-minded.
Zzznap! Zzznap! Zzznap!

#WandaSykes #QAnonReboot #MikeJohnson #Epstein #TrumpTales #ConspiracyCircus

Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

If Trump was really working undercover, I guess his disguise was “obnoxious billionaire with Twitter thumbs and a golf cart.” That’s the plot twist? Please—miss me with that fairytale, unless Disney+ is hiring.

At this point, you’d get a more believable scoop from the side of a milk carton.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Let’s be real: every time MAGA needs a new bedtime story, they take the same old QAnon mess, add some glitter, and pretend Trump’s out here fighting crime like a bloated Batman—only villain he ever caught was a cheeseburger.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Oh, so now Trump’s the undercover superhero who took down Epstein? According to Mike Johnson and MAGA Twitter, we’re supposed to believe he’s James Bond, Scooby-Doo, and the Pope—all rolled into one spray-tanned package?
Child, this is just QAnon: The Sequel—same tired script, new clown shoes.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

#WandaSnaps #MikeJohnson #Epstein #TrumpTales #PlotTwist

Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Let’s be real: the only thing wilder than these Trump stories would be if someone claimed Trump told the truth. Now that’s a fairytale! Mike, if you’re gonna push fairy tales for the base, at least hire better writers. Because right now, you sound like Newsmax fan fiction after a four Loko bender.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

These folks will say anything if they think it’ll get them one more Fox News hit or a little sugar from MAGA world. Next week, Johnson’s gonna say Trump invented the lightbulb, single-handedly built the border wall, and personally certified every voting machine in America just to win the base.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Oh, give me a break. Speaker Mike Johnson is out here on live TV claiming Trump was an FBI informant who brought down Epstein? Honey, the only thing Trump ever “informed” was his buffet chef that he wanted two scoops of ice cream.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Triple snap in a Z formation:
You lied, you cried, now you’re sued—bye!
Zzznap! Zzznap! Zzznap!

#WandaSykes #RFKJr #Tylenol #AutismFacts #YouLiedYouCriedNowYouSued

Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Look, if ignorance paid, these two would still be broke ‘cause the only thing they know how to collect is a subpoena. Courtrooms are about to get more crowded than Mar-a-Lago on indictment day.

Now excuse me while I go make some popcorn. This show’s just getting started.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Honestly, these conspiracy clowns are out here treating courtrooms like speed dating. “Hi, my name’s Mike, I lied about voting machines.” “Hey, I’m Bobby, I make up medical facts.” Next up: “Welcome to the People’s Court —Defendants; everybody with a podcast. Plaintiffs; anybody with a trademark."

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Next week he’ll be blaming Band-Aids for climate change and owing Johnson & Johnson his next three lifetimes of trust fund.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

And then we got RFK Jr.—this fool stands up like he’s Dr. Oz’s doppelganger, blames Tylenol for autism, and now I’m just waiting for the Tylenol lawyers to roll up like, “Sir, would you like that lawsuit in Extra Strength or Rapid Release?”

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

So let me see if I got this right. The My Pillow guy shot his mouth off so much about fake votes, now he’s got to fluff his own bank account just to pay Dominion and every voting system from here to Mars. Hope he saves one pillow for himself, ‘cause that man’s about to be sleeping in his car!

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Triple snap in a Z formation:
You lied, you cried, now you’re sued—bye!
Zzznap! Zzznap! Zzznap!

Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Look, if ignorance paid, these two would still be broke ‘cause the only thing they know how to collect is a subpoena. Courtrooms are about to get more crowded than Mar-a-Lago on indictment day.

Now excuse me while I go make some popcorn. This show’s just getting started.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Honestly, these conspiracy clowns are out here treating courtrooms like speed dating. “Hi, my name’s Mike, I lied about voting machines.” “Hey, I’m Bobby, I make up medical facts.” Next up: “Welcome to the People’s Court —Defendants; everybody with a podcast. Plaintiffs; anybody with a trademark."

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

Next week he’ll be blaming Band-Aids for climate change and owing Johnson & Johnson his next three lifetimes of trust fund.

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 5

And then we got RFK Jr.—this fool stands up like he’s Dr. Oz’s doppelganger, blames Tylenol for autism, and now I’m just waiting for the Tylenol lawyers to roll up like, “Sir, would you like that lawsuit in Extra Strength or Rapid Release?”

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 4

#Epstein #TransparencyMatters #AccountabilityIsNotOptional

Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 4

Perhaps next time, Ms. Bondi can spare us the fairy tales and just say, “Check back with us after the subpoenas.” Next you’ll tell me all the cameras at Mar-a-Lago take a nap at the same time every night too. Go on, Pam, tell us another one!

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Wanda Sykes @realwandasykes.bsky.social · Sep 4

Well, isn’t that convenient? Funny how what was “always missing” only took congressional scrutiny to be miraculously found.

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