Rex Huppke
@rexhuppke.bsky.social
(VERY SERIOUS) USA TODAY humor(ish) columnist. May or may not be notable. Hypocrisy enthusiast. WOKE MOB, CO-FOUNDER. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE (2017 to present).
"Sir, we just need you to go out and pardon the turkeys and not be a dick."
"Got it."
"So...no being a dick, right? Just a nice, unifying pardoning."
"You bet."
**pardons turkeys while being a total dick**
"Sir, we said don't be a..."
"NAILED IT!"
"Got it."
"So...no being a dick, right? Just a nice, unifying pardoning."
"You bet."
**pardons turkeys while being a total dick**
"Sir, we said don't be a..."
"NAILED IT!"
Trump on the turkeys he's about to pardon: "I shouldn't say this. I was gonna call them Chuck and Nancy. But then I realized I wouldn't be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people. I wouldn't pardon them. I wouldn't care what Melania told me."
November 25, 2025 at 5:26 PM
"Sir, we just need you to go out and pardon the turkeys and not be a dick."
"Got it."
"So...no being a dick, right? Just a nice, unifying pardoning."
"You bet."
**pardons turkeys while being a total dick**
"Sir, we said don't be a..."
"NAILED IT!"
"Got it."
"So...no being a dick, right? Just a nice, unifying pardoning."
"You bet."
**pardons turkeys while being a total dick**
"Sir, we said don't be a..."
"NAILED IT!"
Reposted by Rex Huppke
First Secretary of Defense you could defeat by painting a tunnel on the side of a boulder.
November 25, 2025 at 1:55 PM
First Secretary of Defense you could defeat by painting a tunnel on the side of a boulder.
Call me an optimist, but I think things on the right are falling apart very swiftly and Trump’s air of invincibility is a few months shy of life support. That said, I am wrong a lot.
November 25, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Call me an optimist, but I think things on the right are falling apart very swiftly and Trump’s air of invincibility is a few months shy of life support. That said, I am wrong a lot.
After they came up with the collective noun “a murder of crows“ they should’ve just stopped coming up with collective nouns, because no collective noun will ever be cooler.
November 25, 2025 at 1:28 AM
After they came up with the collective noun “a murder of crows“ they should’ve just stopped coming up with collective nouns, because no collective noun will ever be cooler.
Military veterans like Sen. Mark Kelly who tell U.S. soldiers to follow the law should be court-martialed for their insolence!
"The whole 'obey the law' thing predates the Trump administration, which has staked out a very clear position on not obeying the law."
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
"The whole 'obey the law' thing predates the Trump administration, which has staked out a very clear position on not obeying the law."
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
Kelly, Democrats commit crime under Trump: Telling the truth | Opinion
Democratic Sen. Mark Kelly, a retired U.S. Navy pilot, is now being investigated by Pentagon officials for telling soldiers to follow the law.
www.usatoday.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Military veterans like Sen. Mark Kelly who tell U.S. soldiers to follow the law should be court-martialed for their insolence!
"The whole 'obey the law' thing predates the Trump administration, which has staked out a very clear position on not obeying the law."
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
"The whole 'obey the law' thing predates the Trump administration, which has staked out a very clear position on not obeying the law."
www.usatoday.com/story/opinio...
I know Trump's poll numbers are in the toilet, but that's nothing a quick unnecessary invasion of Venezuela that sends U.S. soldiers into harm's way for the holidays can't fix!
November 24, 2025 at 9:42 PM
I know Trump's poll numbers are in the toilet, but that's nothing a quick unnecessary invasion of Venezuela that sends U.S. soldiers into harm's way for the holidays can't fix!
Sadly, USA TODAY has refused to publish the abstract nude portrait of me.
Gah, what? In what universe even before all of the last week did anyone at VF or Condé think this was ok?
And, is it too late to stop the presses at Quad? Actual mag industry Q nypost.com/2025/11/24/m...
And, is it too late to stop the presses at Quad? Actual mag industry Q nypost.com/2025/11/24/m...
Vanity Fair to publish ‘abstract nude portrait’ of Olivia Nuzzi — as scandal-plagued journalist accused of shirking job duties: report
Vanity Fair staffers privately gripe that Olivia Nuzzi has failed to carry out core duties since joining the magazine, according to a report.
nypost.com
November 24, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Sadly, USA TODAY has refused to publish the abstract nude portrait of me.
Sharp piece by @jilldlawrence.bsky.social: “Not just once but twice, Donald Trump put his hand on a Bible and swore to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” He’s been violating that oath, and lying nonstop in all conceivable venues, ever since.”
Lying under oath? Seriously? The case against Comey is as hypocritical as it is weak and incompetent. From Trump on down, this is an administration people who got their jobs by misleading and outright lying to Congress. My latest at @thebulwark.com
www.thebulwark.com/p/trump-admi...
www.thebulwark.com/p/trump-admi...
We’re Led by an Administration of Liars
Trump insisted Comey be prosecuted for supposedly lying to Congress—but his own administration is full of officials who lied to Congress.
www.thebulwark.com
November 24, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Sharp piece by @jilldlawrence.bsky.social: “Not just once but twice, Donald Trump put his hand on a Bible and swore to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” He’s been violating that oath, and lying nonstop in all conceivable venues, ever since.”
Reposted by Rex Huppke
Pretty remarkable that Trump has installed someone on the Saudi dole — Jared Kushner collects millions in fees from the Saudis every year — in a key role for America's most sensitive and consequential foreign policy negotiations (Gaza, Ukraine), and it is largely TREATED AS A NON-STORY
November 23, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Pretty remarkable that Trump has installed someone on the Saudi dole — Jared Kushner collects millions in fees from the Saudis every year — in a key role for America's most sensitive and consequential foreign policy negotiations (Gaza, Ukraine), and it is largely TREATED AS A NON-STORY
Reposted by Rex Huppke
Every day we stray further from god's light
Good morning. In the past 24 hours, more Americans have Googled “felching” than have searched for “turkey recipes”
November 24, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Every day we stray further from god's light
Absolute barn burner of a column by @willbunch.bsky.social. Highly recommend you read this:
A depraved and decadent Trump WH dinner for MBS was a stunning low for an American ruling class that's stopped pretending to carry a moral compass
It was really a celebration of death - of democracy, of an overheating planet, and ultimately themselves. My new column www.inquirer.com/opinion/ceos...
It was really a celebration of death - of democracy, of an overheating planet, and ultimately themselves. My new column www.inquirer.com/opinion/ceos...
The night America’s doomed ruling class gorged on lamb, blood, and oil
For America’s deeply corrupt billionaires, time heals all wounds — even from a murderous Saudi prince’s bone saw.
www.inquirer.com
November 23, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Absolute barn burner of a column by @willbunch.bsky.social. Highly recommend you read this:
Reposted by Rex Huppke
If I’m understanding this correctly, X is owned by a white nationalist who pays poor people of color in developing countries to pretend to be working class white Americans to scare other white Americans into being afraid poor people of color from developing countries are going to ruin America?
November 23, 2025 at 7:30 PM
If I’m understanding this correctly, X is owned by a white nationalist who pays poor people of color in developing countries to pretend to be working class white Americans to scare other white Americans into being afraid poor people of color from developing countries are going to ruin America?
Reposted by Rex Huppke
Only someone this wealthy would so flippantly suggest you uproot your life, sell your house, pull your kids out of school, quit your job, request a transfer — all to save 50 basis points on CPI. 🤡
Bessent: "You know the best way to bring your inflation rate down? Move from a blue state to a red state. Blue state inflation is half a percent higher."
November 23, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Only someone this wealthy would so flippantly suggest you uproot your life, sell your house, pull your kids out of school, quit your job, request a transfer — all to save 50 basis points on CPI. 🤡
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
November 23, 2025 at 7:20 AM
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get that together, come back and see me"
Good lord.
Reuters has confirmed that President Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner and his special envoy Steve Witkoff held a private meeting in Miami with a sanctioned Kremlin proxy to help shape the new "peace plan" for Ukraine. www.reuters.com/world/europe...
www.reuters.com
November 23, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Good lord.
Hold me now,
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
November 23, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Hold me now,
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
"Maybe six feet ain't so far down.”
Reposted by Rex Huppke
"Trump is spiraling. His poll numbers are terrible. Americans are angry about food prices and the economy," writes columnist @rexhuppke.bsky.social. bit.ly/3LUYxvw
November 22, 2025 at 11:00 PM
"Trump is spiraling. His poll numbers are terrible. Americans are angry about food prices and the economy," writes columnist @rexhuppke.bsky.social. bit.ly/3LUYxvw
Reposted by Rex Huppke
There are going to be prominent Democrats and mainstream media voices who insist that we have to "turn the page" and "forgive and forget" and they should all be roundly ignored, if not mercilessly mocked.
It’s crazy to think about the crimes we’re going to learn about after this regime ends.
We’re already hearing about Watergate level crimes every week. Imagine what will come out after it’s over.
We’re going to need a full accounting of all that’s been done in violation of the constitution.
We’re already hearing about Watergate level crimes every week. Imagine what will come out after it’s over.
We’re going to need a full accounting of all that’s been done in violation of the constitution.
November 22, 2025 at 10:46 PM
There are going to be prominent Democrats and mainstream media voices who insist that we have to "turn the page" and "forgive and forget" and they should all be roundly ignored, if not mercilessly mocked.
Didn’t expect to learn the brain worm died of exposure to horrendous sleaze poetry.
November 22, 2025 at 7:22 AM
Didn’t expect to learn the brain worm died of exposure to horrendous sleaze poetry.
More later, perhaps in a column, but Marjorie Taylor Greene, like so many loons who have coat-tailed Trump, feeds off the attention economy. She’s betting the attention is going to shift from “Trump is amazing” to “Trump has failed us,” and she’s putting herself on the leading edge of that wave.
November 22, 2025 at 3:07 AM
More later, perhaps in a column, but Marjorie Taylor Greene, like so many loons who have coat-tailed Trump, feeds off the attention economy. She’s betting the attention is going to shift from “Trump is amazing” to “Trump has failed us,” and she’s putting herself on the leading edge of that wave.
Lotta folks who couldn’t define “socialism” if their lives depended on it are out there tonight feeling profoundly confused over the Mamdani/Trump meeting. If you see one, try not to laugh. They’re hurting.
November 21, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Lotta folks who couldn’t define “socialism” if their lives depended on it are out there tonight feeling profoundly confused over the Mamdani/Trump meeting. If you see one, try not to laugh. They’re hurting.
Eric is hiding in a closet somewhere, watching this on repeat and crying harder than he has ever cried.
November 21, 2025 at 10:33 PM
Eric is hiding in a closet somewhere, watching this on repeat and crying harder than he has ever cried.
Reposted by Rex Huppke
1 / A few things about Trump. First, he’s crazy. We know that. Second, he’s easier to glaze than a Christmas ham. If someone is nice and charming, he’ll discard whatever vitriol he previously spouted. Which bring us to the third thing.
Trump on Mamdani: "I think he's gonna surprise some conservative people, actually. And some very liberal people he won't surprise because they already like him."
November 21, 2025 at 9:33 PM
1 / A few things about Trump. First, he’s crazy. We know that. Second, he’s easier to glaze than a Christmas ham. If someone is nice and charming, he’ll discard whatever vitriol he previously spouted. Which bring us to the third thing.