Stoned cold fox
@roastmalone.bsky.social
no milk will ever be our milk
roastmalone_ on twitter
roastmalone_ on twitter
I so badly want to feel morally superior to the Starbucks bearista cup collectors but as a child who lived through the beanie babies as happy meal toys craze my hands are not without blood
November 12, 2025 at 2:57 AM
I so badly want to feel morally superior to the Starbucks bearista cup collectors but as a child who lived through the beanie babies as happy meal toys craze my hands are not without blood
they just aren’t out here naming babies Ebenezer like they used to
November 10, 2025 at 2:23 AM
they just aren’t out here naming babies Ebenezer like they used to
joining ICE is like winning gold in the peaked in high school Olympics
October 31, 2025 at 7:49 PM
joining ICE is like winning gold in the peaked in high school Olympics
Reposted by Stoned cold fox
drake turning off the game as it gets to 18
October 28, 2025 at 6:30 AM
drake turning off the game as it gets to 18
I’ve never felt more like her
October 28, 2025 at 6:23 AM
I’ve never felt more like her
Reposted by Stoned cold fox
none of this would have happened if we let them do hella steroids is all i'm
saying
saying
October 28, 2025 at 5:50 AM
none of this would have happened if we let them do hella steroids is all i'm
saying
saying
I am now rooting for whichever team lets me go to bed
October 28, 2025 at 5:50 AM
I am now rooting for whichever team lets me go to bed
no offence but 15 innings kind of feels like you’re just doing it for attention now
October 28, 2025 at 5:39 AM
no offence but 15 innings kind of feels like you’re just doing it for attention now
Cork the bats Barry Bonds
Completely fix baseball with five words.
October 26, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Cork the bats Barry Bonds
sometimes I can’t believe that breathing in fresh air with these stupid lungs, looking at pretty trees with my dumbs eyes, and walking around on these idiot feet is the key to happiness
October 25, 2025 at 10:22 PM
sometimes I can’t believe that breathing in fresh air with these stupid lungs, looking at pretty trees with my dumbs eyes, and walking around on these idiot feet is the key to happiness
the problem with how much I commit to the bit is one day I’ll probably do something stupid like get my cpa so I can be the thot that counts
October 25, 2025 at 12:24 AM
the problem with how much I commit to the bit is one day I’ll probably do something stupid like get my cpa so I can be the thot that counts
If I killed off my Twitter self does that mean I died in real life
October 25, 2025 at 12:06 AM
If I killed off my Twitter self does that mean I died in real life
Reposted by Stoned cold fox
I'm here now
RIP twitter, you once housed the greatest minds of our generation
May 21, 2025 at 8:52 PM
I'm here now
the amount of people I know rooting for the eagles simply because they don’t want the chiefs to win is a beautiful thing. hate conquers all ♥️🦅
February 8, 2025 at 1:23 AM
the amount of people I know rooting for the eagles simply because they don’t want the chiefs to win is a beautiful thing. hate conquers all ♥️🦅
shout out to pseudo dive bars with overpriced cocktails you’re single handedly keeping the neon sign industry alive
February 8, 2025 at 1:15 AM
shout out to pseudo dive bars with overpriced cocktails you’re single handedly keeping the neon sign industry alive
Oh you can bet your ass I’m assembling a turtle army to take down this twat
February 7, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Oh you can bet your ass I’m assembling a turtle army to take down this twat
Went from I think you should leave to I think you should be old yellered real quick
SNL writers were appalled when Trump hosted in 2015, with Tim Robinson saying at the time: “Lorne has lost his f---ing mind and someone needs to shoot him in the back of the head.”
New Revelations About ‘SNL’s’ Internal Revolt Over Trump
“Lorne has lost his f***ing mind and someone needs to shoot him in the back of the head,” writer Tim Robinson said at the height of the uproar.
www.thedailybeast.com
February 7, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Went from I think you should leave to I think you should be old yellered real quick
I got a kindle to spend less money on books but instead I’m reading more books than ever my plan has backfired spectacularly
February 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I got a kindle to spend less money on books but instead I’m reading more books than ever my plan has backfired spectacularly
If middle child energy was a photo
February 3, 2025 at 12:14 AM
If middle child energy was a photo
This whole tarrif tit for tat is kinda like that part in love actually where the prime minister stands up to the president for hitting on his girl except for the fact that while Hugh Grant could play Trudeau, no one would ever believe Billy Bob Thornton as Trump
February 3, 2025 at 12:09 AM
This whole tarrif tit for tat is kinda like that part in love actually where the prime minister stands up to the president for hitting on his girl except for the fact that while Hugh Grant could play Trudeau, no one would ever believe Billy Bob Thornton as Trump
if the fortune telling rodent doesn’t see his shadow next week my mental health may never recover
January 31, 2025 at 6:11 PM
if the fortune telling rodent doesn’t see his shadow next week my mental health may never recover
I don’t know why people are so concerned with movies that didn’t age well. they’re entertainment, not wine
January 27, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I don’t know why people are so concerned with movies that didn’t age well. they’re entertainment, not wine
I love starting a sentence with not to be a hater and then finishing the sentence with something only a hater would say
January 25, 2025 at 3:53 AM
I love starting a sentence with not to be a hater and then finishing the sentence with something only a hater would say
if billionaire super villains are real can we also get some balance in the universe and have something cool like mermaids be real too
January 24, 2025 at 4:29 AM
if billionaire super villains are real can we also get some balance in the universe and have something cool like mermaids be real too