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Sam Handwich

@samhandwitch.bsky.social

170 followers 1K following 360 posts

im a lurker mostly

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Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · Jan 18

I’m going to use this thread to store the tweet phrases that keep banging around in my head

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Reposted by Sam Handwich

Adam Gurri @adamgurri.liberalcurrents.com · 12h

“Years of lead…supplements” - @bdowney.bsky.social

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Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 1d

who up carvin they gourd

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 3d

doing a fire/ice double feature with two dogshit movies, THE LOST BUS and ICE ROAD: VENGEANCE

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 3d

“he’s comin’ right for us” i mutter as i mow down a toddler

Reposted by Sam Handwich

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · 5d

Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile starts... now.

The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein

YouTube video by The Onion

www.youtube.com

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Reposted by Sam Handwich

scaryssa walmart dog @meo.bsky.social · 5d

how do u even compete with this level of propaganda. and why tf do these vril guys love tatu so much

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Reposted by Sam Handwich

jeff com-BOO-ters @helldude.bsky.social · 6d

portland frog you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your rubber suit is too bad. they’ll kill you portland frog

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Reposted by Sam Handwich

jeff com-BOO-ters @helldude.bsky.social · 6d

this sucks dick

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Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 6d

“You have selected REGICIDE”

Reposted by Sam Handwich

actually its fens monster @cringeunworthy.bsky.social · 24d

every poster whose skeets get read in court should be required to have a username that is this funny, at bare minimum

A Bluesky post dated Sept. 4 under the account name "guy who gets shot in the head one hundred thousand times a day" matches the description of the post included in the court documents.

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Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 10d

ALAB (assigned lawyer at birth)

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

a lot of people On Here are exposing themselves as members of the Virgin-American community

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

starship running low on tri-lithium <<<<

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

please be kind to the Gaylor crew today, i’m sure they are having a Hard time with the news

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

Along these lines I guess

Hari Kunzru @harikunzru.bsky.social · Sep 14

I am advocating for you to be killed but I am using my inside voice you must debate me this is called democracy

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

*hanging brain* (reverently) he wields the brain

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

goddamn lol

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

Can you explain the ToS change for Singal? I missed that, ty in advance

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Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

republicans: actual nazis
democrats: lemonparty.jpg

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

i don’t even understand the joke, is jeffries even a latino? is it just because he is brown? why not put him in a turban? it reads as desperate nonsense slop, to be ignored

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 11d

ITS TIME FOR DA PERCULATOR

YouTube video by YUNGNBEAUTIFUL93

youtu.be

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 13d

Me, a communist: "Schumer needs to whip his caucus harder into opposing the secretary of labor nominee! 17 yes votes is unacceptable."
Sheryl, retired lowa schoolteacher who caucused for Klobuchar: "so what if he carries his kid around, a 4 year old isn't stopping a bullet"

Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 18d

Drivers kill 10000 pedestrians per year. Here’s why they had it coming.

NPR @npr.org · 19d

In 2024, 7,100 pedestrians were killed on the road, and in recent years, more than 1,000 cyclists have been hit and killed annually. Safety experts explain how bikers and walkers can stay safe.

8 walking and biking safety tips that just might save your life

In 2024, 7,100 pedestrians were killed on the road, and in recent years, more than 1,000 cyclists have been hit and killed annually. Safety experts explain how bikers and walkers can stay safe.

n.pr

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Sam Handwich @samhandwitch.bsky.social · 19d

Tweet that reads “Being a billionaire must be insane. You can buy new teeth, new skin. All your chairs cost 20,000 dollars and weigh 2,000 pounds. Your life is just a series of your own preferences. In terms of cognitive impairment it's probably like being kicked in the head by a horse every day”

Reposted by Sam Handwich

furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 22d

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

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