Anastasia Beaverhausen
@semisophrosyne.bsky.social
Lover of Peanut Butter. Insomniac. First Wife Kid. Favorite Little Shit Stirrer. AB, a marshmallow on fire.
I do NOT embrace sexism, racism, or bigotry.
I do NOT embrace sexism, racism, or bigotry.
Pinned
When I drive over speed bumps, I imagine I’m driving over the bodies of my enemies
My boobies have been successfully fondled, deodorant applied, on my way to find the bougiest coffee I can find.
December 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
My boobies have been successfully fondled, deodorant applied, on my way to find the bougiest coffee I can find.
Pain and sadness to people who play videos without earbuds in medical clinic waiting rooms.
December 4, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Pain and sadness to people who play videos without earbuds in medical clinic waiting rooms.
I am really disappointed in two week’s ago AB who scheduled a 8 AM mammogram. Bitch failed me.
December 4, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I am really disappointed in two week’s ago AB who scheduled a 8 AM mammogram. Bitch failed me.
I want to sleep but kiddo wants to scream as loud as humanly possible while playing on VR 😭
December 4, 2025 at 2:12 AM
I want to sleep but kiddo wants to scream as loud as humanly possible while playing on VR 😭
Reposted by Anastasia Beaverhausen
No one:
My cat at 2 a.m.: I bet I can jump through the Christmas tree
My cat at 2 a.m.: I bet I can jump through the Christmas tree
December 4, 2025 at 12:14 AM
No one:
My cat at 2 a.m.: I bet I can jump through the Christmas tree
My cat at 2 a.m.: I bet I can jump through the Christmas tree
I get my boobies fondled tomorrow 😏
December 4, 2025 at 12:10 AM
I get my boobies fondled tomorrow 😏
AB’s nightly reminder to turn your headlights the fuck on.
WHYYYYYY is it so hard to turn on your headlights when driving in the dark?????
December 3, 2025 at 11:45 PM
AB’s nightly reminder to turn your headlights the fuck on.
The moon be moonin’.
December 3, 2025 at 11:44 PM
The moon be moonin’.
I got a little unhinged and slap happy this afternoon but that’s okay. The girl that doesn’t like me wasn’t there, so I didn’t feel judged.
December 3, 2025 at 11:43 PM
I got a little unhinged and slap happy this afternoon but that’s okay. The girl that doesn’t like me wasn’t there, so I didn’t feel judged.
Running on zero minutes/hours of sleep in the last 24 hours and I don’t want to die yet so that’s good
December 3, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Running on zero minutes/hours of sleep in the last 24 hours and I don’t want to die yet so that’s good
Reposted by Anastasia Beaverhausen
Wednesday! HomeTown Trivia Fric & Frac! 7:30! Come out for a great time & a shot at $30, 20 or 10 in house cash. C'mon...you know you wanna play.
Tonight's hint: First Muscle Shoals #1 hit on Billboard.
See alla yiz at The Frac!
Tonight's hint: First Muscle Shoals #1 hit on Billboard.
See alla yiz at The Frac!
December 3, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Wednesday! HomeTown Trivia Fric & Frac! 7:30! Come out for a great time & a shot at $30, 20 or 10 in house cash. C'mon...you know you wanna play.
Tonight's hint: First Muscle Shoals #1 hit on Billboard.
See alla yiz at The Frac!
Tonight's hint: First Muscle Shoals #1 hit on Billboard.
See alla yiz at The Frac!
Reposted by Anastasia Beaverhausen
In just the last two years, 156 people have lost $3 million dollars in Clay County to cryptocurrency ATM scams. The county is trying to alert people at cryptocurrency machines so they don't fall for one.
Clay County residents have lost millions to a new scam. Bitcoin makes it hard to trace
In the last two years, victims in Clay County have lost $3 million to scammers who fabricate fees for missing jury duty and other cons. The scammers then have them convert money into Bitcoin so it's hard to trace or recover.
www.kcur.org
December 3, 2025 at 2:05 PM
In just the last two years, 156 people have lost $3 million dollars in Clay County to cryptocurrency ATM scams. The county is trying to alert people at cryptocurrency machines so they don't fall for one.
WHYYYYYY is it so hard to turn on your headlights when driving in the dark?????
December 3, 2025 at 1:27 PM
WHYYYYYY is it so hard to turn on your headlights when driving in the dark?????
I have not slept yet. My alarm will go off in 1.5 hours. Love this for me 🥰
December 3, 2025 at 9:55 AM
I have not slept yet. My alarm will go off in 1.5 hours. Love this for me 🥰
I have been off my period less than a week, and the new one starts in one week. My OBGYN seemed more concerned with potential heart issues after Covid (despite regular check-ups indicating no issues) than my 16 day periods 😭
December 3, 2025 at 6:16 AM
I have been off my period less than a week, and the new one starts in one week. My OBGYN seemed more concerned with potential heart issues after Covid (despite regular check-ups indicating no issues) than my 16 day periods 😭
I am taking my ancestor’s Depression Era knowledge to get through these times (reusing foil, used butter containers as Tupperware, and used cookie tins as storage for junk)
December 3, 2025 at 5:06 AM
I am taking my ancestor’s Depression Era knowledge to get through these times (reusing foil, used butter containers as Tupperware, and used cookie tins as storage for junk)
Has no one learned anything about me after DAVID on Twitter?
December 3, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Has no one learned anything about me after DAVID on Twitter?
Therapist: Why do you think you never ask for help?
Me: Well, my mom had surgery today and didn’t tell me, because then it would imply that she needs help.
Me: Well, my mom had surgery today and didn’t tell me, because then it would imply that she needs help.
December 3, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Therapist: Why do you think you never ask for help?
Me: Well, my mom had surgery today and didn’t tell me, because then it would imply that she needs help.
Me: Well, my mom had surgery today and didn’t tell me, because then it would imply that she needs help.
Now I have “burn motherfucker, burn” stuck in my head (Bloodhound Gang, Fire Water Burn)
“If your house catches on fire I’m going to grab a beer and watch it burn.”
December 3, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Now I have “burn motherfucker, burn” stuck in my head (Bloodhound Gang, Fire Water Burn)
Well, I feel a lot better. You guys are the best.
December 3, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Well, I feel a lot better. You guys are the best.
Learning everything I can about my neighbor now. Of course his name is Dick.
December 3, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Learning everything I can about my neighbor now. Of course his name is Dick.
This is the one
Something along these lines sounds good. Maybe not even aimed specifically at him. Something about beware, child predators operating in area, my kids were approached by a man who looks like this - rubbish drawing of him - it sighted please call cops.
December 3, 2025 at 12:17 AM
This is the one
Oh, so I have to teach my child to caretake a grown man’s feelings bc in his 60+ years of life he hasn’t learned how to regulate himself and be a decent fucking human? The fuck out of here with that shit.
Well, sounds like maybe he was having a moment. It happens, especially these days. Suggestion: Maybe send the kids over with a plate of cookies and an apology for making him mad. If he took the time and effort of intro himself during the summer, maybe he's not a bad guy, just a guy in the rough?
December 3, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Oh, so I have to teach my child to caretake a grown man’s feelings bc in his 60+ years of life he hasn’t learned how to regulate himself and be a decent fucking human? The fuck out of here with that shit.
New old man neighbor who lives behind us has a hill and drainage ditch at the back of his property. The kids were sledding, like usual, and he came out and yelled at them to get off his property, and if he ever sees them again he’ll call the sheriff.
My question ⬇️
My question ⬇️
December 2, 2025 at 11:45 PM
New old man neighbor who lives behind us has a hill and drainage ditch at the back of his property. The kids were sledding, like usual, and he came out and yelled at them to get off his property, and if he ever sees them again he’ll call the sheriff.
My question ⬇️
My question ⬇️
Okay but what about all the cocaine addicted sea life? Do we not care about that?!?!
Noem: You have saved hundreds of millions of lives with the Cocaine you’ve blown up in the Caribbean
December 2, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Okay but what about all the cocaine addicted sea life? Do we not care about that?!?!