The Human Term & Condition
@squatmaster666.bsky.social
i am your impulsive thoughts megaphone and a professional void howler
a real human being and not a green satanic anarchist puppet baby from the fourth dimension
they/it/guy/any
a real human being and not a green satanic anarchist puppet baby from the fourth dimension
they/it/guy/any
look man we butts don't need more people objectifying human butts so i wouldn't butts partake butts in this thoughts butts experiment butts
OK speaking of Quentin Tarantino, what body part would YOU be a pervert about if you directed a movie?
December 9, 2025 at 1:00 PM
look man we butts don't need more people objectifying human butts so i wouldn't butts partake butts in this thoughts butts experiment butts
and this is the third way pseudoarchaeology works:
well i sure couldn't figure out how to build this thing by myself and i'd rather die than admit brown people are capable of something i am not so it must have been aliens
well i sure couldn't figure out how to build this thing by myself and i'd rather die than admit brown people are capable of something i am not so it must have been aliens
this is not the only way, however. here's another:
that rock sort of looks like a foot, which means giants used to be real
that rock sort of looks like a foot, which means giants used to be real
this is how pseudoarchaeology works:
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
December 8, 2025 at 10:14 PM
and this is the third way pseudoarchaeology works:
well i sure couldn't figure out how to build this thing by myself and i'd rather die than admit brown people are capable of something i am not so it must have been aliens
well i sure couldn't figure out how to build this thing by myself and i'd rather die than admit brown people are capable of something i am not so it must have been aliens
this is not the only way, however. here's another:
that rock sort of looks like a foot, which means giants used to be real
that rock sort of looks like a foot, which means giants used to be real
this is how pseudoarchaeology works:
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
December 8, 2025 at 10:11 PM
this is not the only way, however. here's another:
that rock sort of looks like a foot, which means giants used to be real
that rock sort of looks like a foot, which means giants used to be real
this is how pseudoarchaeology works:
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
December 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
this is how pseudoarchaeology works:
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
Roy Orbison
Rorbison
Rorbson
Orbson
Orson
and that's how i know that Roy Orbison and Orson Wells are secretly the same person
let's draw each other prgnant
December 8, 2025 at 11:44 AM
let's draw each other prgnant
don't know what the woke left is complaining about. we have amended the new SWAT aptitude tests to be more inclusive. if you don't meet the physical standards or you're too much of a dense dumbass to handle the cognitive part of it, you can just show us how you'd flashbang a toddler and you're in
December 8, 2025 at 11:22 AM
don't know what the woke left is complaining about. we have amended the new SWAT aptitude tests to be more inclusive. if you don't meet the physical standards or you're too much of a dense dumbass to handle the cognitive part of it, you can just show us how you'd flashbang a toddler and you're in
holidays coming up and you don't know what to get for your foodie friends? try one of those ready-made spice blends that are 90% salt, making the herbs so dehydrated that they smell like pencil shavings!
December 8, 2025 at 10:47 AM
holidays coming up and you don't know what to get for your foodie friends? try one of those ready-made spice blends that are 90% salt, making the herbs so dehydrated that they smell like pencil shavings!
nice try, but Duke Nukem would never settle down for marriage
December 8, 2025 at 9:00 AM
nice try, but Duke Nukem would never settle down for marriage
with foodstuffs getting more expensives these days i am glad to have discovered that tinned beans are the perfect substitute for coffee beans.
this starchy bean juice is JUST as good as regular coffee!
this starchy bean juice is JUST as good as regular coffee!
December 8, 2025 at 8:51 AM
with foodstuffs getting more expensives these days i am glad to have discovered that tinned beans are the perfect substitute for coffee beans.
this starchy bean juice is JUST as good as regular coffee!
this starchy bean juice is JUST as good as regular coffee!
children's songs need more BLEUGHs in them followed by breakdowns for the pit
December 6, 2025 at 6:41 PM
children's songs need more BLEUGHs in them followed by breakdowns for the pit
what's wrong? you haven't even touched your limp biscuit
December 4, 2025 at 11:19 PM
what's wrong? you haven't even touched your limp biscuit
the streets shall run white with an unidentified liquid
December 4, 2025 at 5:12 PM
the streets shall run white with an unidentified liquid
Harlan Ellison's lesser known sequel I Have No Hog And I Must Goon
December 4, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Harlan Ellison's lesser known sequel I Have No Hog And I Must Goon
writing a smut fic about how Nestlé is actually just a misunderstood (and handsome!) guy and then he has raw and nasty sex with the Concept Of Drinking Water As A Universal Human Right
December 2, 2025 at 6:55 PM
writing a smut fic about how Nestlé is actually just a misunderstood (and handsome!) guy and then he has raw and nasty sex with the Concept Of Drinking Water As A Universal Human Right
"bitches just wanna steal my money," says misogynist with zero game and no money
December 2, 2025 at 3:28 PM
"bitches just wanna steal my money," says misogynist with zero game and no money
one million dollars but at one random point during the coming year your genitalia will transform into a glock and fire one (1) shot before being transformed back
December 1, 2025 at 8:29 PM
one million dollars but at one random point during the coming year your genitalia will transform into a glock and fire one (1) shot before being transformed back
play Pentiment
December 1, 2025 at 7:47 PM
play Pentiment
why does everyone have to be a short king? what about us short hobos?
December 1, 2025 at 7:28 PM
why does everyone have to be a short king? what about us short hobos?
can't believe there are birds both called tits and boobys, deeply unserious Earth
November 29, 2025 at 5:40 PM
can't believe there are birds both called tits and boobys, deeply unserious Earth
sure, my apartment may be extremely haunted but it's the only one i can afford
November 28, 2025 at 11:33 AM
sure, my apartment may be extremely haunted but it's the only one i can afford
*SPLASH* this ocean can fit so many billionaires in it
November 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
*SPLASH* this ocean can fit so many billionaires in it
i'd rather throw my lot in with an idealist just once than listen to how better things are not possible for the umpteenth time. this isn't even rebellious, but from the way The Sensibles react you'd think i was a mental patient
November 27, 2025 at 10:40 AM
i'd rather throw my lot in with an idealist just once than listen to how better things are not possible for the umpteenth time. this isn't even rebellious, but from the way The Sensibles react you'd think i was a mental patient
not knowing shit about fuck is the default human state and the world would be a far better place if more people internalised this
November 27, 2025 at 10:04 AM
not knowing shit about fuck is the default human state and the world would be a far better place if more people internalised this
nvesting fifty billion euros into vuvuzelas and making it everyone else's problem
November 27, 2025 at 9:07 AM
nvesting fifty billion euros into vuvuzelas and making it everyone else's problem
reason i don't use proper capitalisation is that the shift key is posh
November 27, 2025 at 9:01 AM
reason i don't use proper capitalisation is that the shift key is posh