Ted Cruz
@tedcrvz.bsky.social
Aspiring human president. You can learn all about it at Tedcruzforhumanpresident.com
Pinned
Ted Cruz
@tedcrvz.bsky.social
· Jun 25
In these trying times, I can always take solace in the fact that I am not the cowardly, war mongering, stupid, racist, empathy-lacking, grandstanding, cuckholded, grifting, bootlicking, misogynist, and hypocritical alien in human skin & zodiac killer wannabe Ted Cruz. I just run his parody account
I was expecting him to respond, "Now why would I do that?" so I'm pleasantly surprised
Q: Do you plan to attend Sarah's funeral?
TRUMP: I haven't thought about it yet, but it's certainly something I can conceive of. I love West Virginia. You know, I won West Virginia by one of the biggest margins of any president anywhere.
TRUMP: I haven't thought about it yet, but it's certainly something I can conceive of. I love West Virginia. You know, I won West Virginia by one of the biggest margins of any president anywhere.
November 28, 2025 at 2:07 AM
I was expecting him to respond, "Now why would I do that?" so I'm pleasantly surprised
Does this motherfucker have a porcelain doll of Tom Sawyer?
Hey, we saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe.
November 27, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Does this motherfucker have a porcelain doll of Tom Sawyer?
November 27, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I'm heartbroken to find out that since the statute of limitations on perjury is 5 years, Brett Kavanaugh can no longer be indicated for telling the senators that boofing is "flatulence."
November 27, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I'm heartbroken to find out that since the statute of limitations on perjury is 5 years, Brett Kavanaugh can no longer be indicated for telling the senators that boofing is "flatulence."
Hello fellow Earth humans! I want to wish a happy thanksgiving! Enjoy your turkey which JD Vance thinks is disgusting. Be happy and full of shit! www.independent.co.uk/tv/news/than...
JD Vance jokes troops are lying about liking one of America’s traditions
JD Vance has told troops that they’re “full of s***” for claiming that they enjoy turkey. Addressing servicemen and women in Kentucky on Wednesday (26 November), the vice president said that whilst Th...
www.independent.co.uk
November 27, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Hello fellow Earth humans! I want to wish a happy thanksgiving! Enjoy your turkey which JD Vance thinks is disgusting. Be happy and full of shit! www.independent.co.uk/tv/news/than...
John Krupinsky is a snake. Look at that motherfuckin face. Snake, through and through.
November 27, 2025 at 4:54 AM
John Krupinsky is a snake. Look at that motherfuckin face. Snake, through and through.
Trump doesn't know who he granted asylum to. He didn't know he pardoned the Binance CEO. He doesn't know which animals were in his super special IQ test that he got the best results. He forgot he was meeting w/ Bolsanaro, on the day he would be imprisoned. He doesn't know he's cooked. Vote Ted Cruz!
November 27, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Trump doesn't know who he granted asylum to. He didn't know he pardoned the Binance CEO. He doesn't know which animals were in his super special IQ test that he got the best results. He forgot he was meeting w/ Bolsanaro, on the day he would be imprisoned. He doesn't know he's cooked. Vote Ted Cruz!
Edgar Allen Poe? More like Edgar Allen Poser amirite?
November 27, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Edgar Allen Poe? More like Edgar Allen Poser amirite?
Hello it is me, Moscow Washington. I am here to collect my $300 billion.
“.. the Witkoff-Dmitriev plan” demands that a substantial share of $300 billion of frozen Russian state assets “be carved up between Washington and Moscow .. This has apparently disappeared from subsequent versions, but there’s no mistaking the intent.”
www.bloomberg.com/opinion/arti...
www.bloomberg.com/opinion/arti...
November 27, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Hello it is me, Moscow Washington. I am here to collect my $300 billion.
I swear every Jesse Walters clip is him spewing homo-erotic fantasy on TV. "Pete Hegseth is going use his muscular arms to spank Mark Kelly into being his little submissive twink and punish him like the bad boy he is."
November 26, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I swear every Jesse Walters clip is him spewing homo-erotic fantasy on TV. "Pete Hegseth is going use his muscular arms to spank Mark Kelly into being his little submissive twink and punish him like the bad boy he is."
Truck question: Trump is covering up his own crimes as they relate to Epstein.
"Is Trump covering up Jeffrey Epstein's crimes?"
Yes: 50%
No: 29%
Unsure: 22%
YouGov / Nov 24, 2025
Yes: 50%
No: 29%
Unsure: 22%
YouGov / Nov 24, 2025
November 26, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Truck question: Trump is covering up his own crimes as they relate to Epstein.
This regime is really bad at being the Mafia that they're trying to emulate. By changing policy so that department heads have to sign off on everything, the bosses are micromanaging themselves into a prison sentence.
Kristi Noem is guilty of crimes against humanity and needs to face justice.
📌 She made the final call to defy a court order to halt deportation flights, sending people into the hellscape of CECOT, a place the UN has compared to a torture chamber.
Prosecute her and everyone involved.
📌 She made the final call to defy a court order to halt deportation flights, sending people into the hellscape of CECOT, a place the UN has compared to a torture chamber.
Prosecute her and everyone involved.
November 26, 2025 at 4:28 PM
This regime is really bad at being the Mafia that they're trying to emulate. By changing policy so that department heads have to sign off on everything, the bosses are micromanaging themselves into a prison sentence.
Turns out a regime that protects pedophiles and human traffickers does other bad things 😲
Guys. Please stop dropping into my replies on any post that doesn't mention Epstein and accuse me of being distracted. Once you have more lawsuits filed to release the files than I do, we can talk. Until then, I can hold more than one thought in my head. Thanks!
November 26, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Turns out a regime that protects pedophiles and human traffickers does other bad things 😲
Haha Domino's
November 26, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Haha Domino's
So glad to see Newsom finally standing up for people who are transitioning.
Young adults deserve to feel supported as they transition into adulthood.
That’s why California is investing $56M to expand access to housing so our youth never have to choose between their education, paying rent, or putting food on the table.
We won’t leave them behind.
That’s why California is investing $56M to expand access to housing so our youth never have to choose between their education, paying rent, or putting food on the table.
We won’t leave them behind.
November 26, 2025 at 1:36 AM
So glad to see Newsom finally standing up for people who are transitioning.
I was digging out my old emails and came across an email from @garmin.com that said I was going to be charged the next day for a renewal that I cancelled a while back. What a piece of shit company.
November 25, 2025 at 11:20 PM
I was digging out my old emails and came across an email from @garmin.com that said I was going to be charged the next day for a renewal that I cancelled a while back. What a piece of shit company.
That turkey frequented Epstein's parties.
November 25, 2025 at 5:21 PM
That turkey frequented Epstein's parties.
Hello fellow American humans! War with Venezuela is critical to National Security! And by national security, I mean my bank account.
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
November 24, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Hello fellow American humans! War with Venezuela is critical to National Security! And by national security, I mean my bank account.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
November 24, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Rep. Salazar on Venezuela: "We're about to go in ... we need to go in ... Venezuela for the American oil companies will be a field day"
Hey Grok, I was at this party and I wanted to give a le epic roast to this woman, so I asked you and I told her "Quiet Piggy"
November 24, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Hey Grok, I was at this party and I wanted to give a le epic roast to this woman, so I asked you and I told her "Quiet Piggy"
I have endorsed Grok for president.
Grok, roast my freaking wife🤣🤣
November 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I have endorsed Grok for president.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Grok, roast my freaking wife🤣🤣
November 24, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Grok, roast my freaking wife🤣🤣
Warhammer 40K universe is looking relatively better and better by the day.
The extremely mentally ill President of the United States just posted this on his money losing garbage Truth Social app.
November 24, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Warhammer 40K universe is looking relatively better and better by the day.
Reposted by Ted Cruz
The DHS Twitter account is *not* run out of Tel Aviv; this screenshot is faked. Free Palestine and don’t spread lies
November 23, 2025 at 10:42 PM
The DHS Twitter account is *not* run out of Tel Aviv; this screenshot is faked. Free Palestine and don’t spread lies
Reposted by Ted Cruz
Bumper stickers, Toronto
!["Normalize hitting the curb"
[Picture of Ted Cruz] "This man ate my son"](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:2aebn3xk5t63net43eeepire/bafkreihak4rfiukidlsj4fukij5476zmtxo2jhvqilvozukbrrg52xrf4y@jpeg)
November 23, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Bumper stickers, Toronto