Enjoyer of Hats
@themikeheld.bsky.social
I said you must be joking, son. Where did you get those shoes?
Wife guy. Girl dad.
Wife guy. Girl dad.
Pinned
Enjoyer of Hats
@themikeheld.bsky.social
· Feb 26
if you are unironically using Drumpf or Elmo in the year of our lord 2025, please PLEASE do not follow me.
duce gourson is @productiveouts.bsky.social coded
The Pirates have announced seven more non-roster invites to Spring Training, including Konnor Griffin
January 16, 2026 at 4:22 PM
duce gourson is @productiveouts.bsky.social coded
somedays you make a post that you're sure is gonna do numbers but you go 0-0-0 on it and that's okay.
*to the tune of Walking On Sunshine"
I'm Honkin' On Bobo
I'm Honkin' On Bobo
January 16, 2026 at 4:20 PM
somedays you make a post that you're sure is gonna do numbers but you go 0-0-0 on it and that's okay.
i spend my days arguing with chodes in the WSJ comment section (it's wildly unhealthy, please do not yell at me about my vices, my therapist knows about this habit) and the morons there simply can not understand doing something to simply help other people rather than chasing the almighty dollar.
Look at this absolute queen
January 16, 2026 at 3:52 PM
i spend my days arguing with chodes in the WSJ comment section (it's wildly unhealthy, please do not yell at me about my vices, my therapist knows about this habit) and the morons there simply can not understand doing something to simply help other people rather than chasing the almighty dollar.
Welcome to Tequila Fridays with Rachel Dolezal
January 16, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Welcome to Tequila Fridays with Rachel Dolezal
Howard Lutnick is in town today and I would LOVE to give him a peace of my mind
January 16, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Howard Lutnick is in town today and I would LOVE to give him a peace of my mind
Reposted by Enjoyer of Hats
Whisky Friday can't even compare
January 16, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Whisky Friday can't even compare
friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. it's been a long week and a long year, but finally:
it's Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil
it's Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil
January 16, 2026 at 2:03 PM
friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. it's been a long week and a long year, but finally:
it's Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil
it's Whiskey Friday with Tony Dokoupil
Reposted by Enjoyer of Hats
It was my Great Honor to read Robert McCloskey, of Ohio, today. He is a wonderful man who has been through so much. Robert presented me with his Caldecott Medal for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you Robert!
January 16, 2026 at 2:01 AM
It was my Great Honor to read Robert McCloskey, of Ohio, today. He is a wonderful man who has been through so much. Robert presented me with his Caldecott Medal for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you Robert!
it was 1975, and then again in 2002
January 16, 2026 at 2:09 AM
it was 1975, and then again in 2002
It was my Great Honor to read Robert McCloskey, of Ohio, today. He is a wonderful man who has been through so much. Robert presented me with his Caldecott Medal for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you Robert!
January 16, 2026 at 2:01 AM
It was my Great Honor to read Robert McCloskey, of Ohio, today. He is a wonderful man who has been through so much. Robert presented me with his Caldecott Medal for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you Robert!
nobel should revoke the prize tomorrow
“María presented me with her Nobel Peace Prize for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you María!”
January 16, 2026 at 1:54 AM
nobel should revoke the prize tomorrow
"the political power of big cities" oh you mean where people live?
Stage 5 pundit-brain is watching an innocent woman being killed by agents of the state and going, "hmm this says a lot about the urban-rural divide in America."
January 16, 2026 at 12:53 AM
"the political power of big cities" oh you mean where people live?
the trivia orders me to play less new u2 and more old u2 & im playing the mircale of joey ramone. everyone in the bar groans at my shit
January 16, 2026 at 12:52 AM
the trivia orders me to play less new u2 and more old u2 & im playing the mircale of joey ramone. everyone in the bar groans at my shit
It is my Great Honor to announce that THE BOARD OF BONERS has been formed. The Members of the Board will be announced shortly, but I can say with certainty that it is the Greatest and Most Prestigious Board ever assembled at any time, any place. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
January 15, 2026 at 11:54 PM
It is my Great Honor to announce that THE BOARD OF BONERS has been formed. The Members of the Board will be announced shortly, but I can say with certainty that it is the Greatest and Most Prestigious Board ever assembled at any time, any place. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
more songs need extremely specific characters like guitar george
January 15, 2026 at 11:17 PM
more songs need extremely specific characters like guitar george
Reposted by Enjoyer of Hats
Here I am, a factory worker enjoying his lunch in the North End of Boston on January 15, 1919. I’ve survived the influenza pandemic, I’m feeling good about life, and I’ve never been more confident I will not be swallowed up by a flood of liquid sugarcane extract
January 24, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Here I am, a factory worker enjoying his lunch in the North End of Boston on January 15, 1919. I’ve survived the influenza pandemic, I’m feeling good about life, and I’ve never been more confident I will not be swallowed up by a flood of liquid sugarcane extract
today in: things i learned from writing Trivia
The full name of Lisbon is officially the "Very Noble and Ever Loyal City of Lisbon"
The full name of Lisbon is officially the "Very Noble and Ever Loyal City of Lisbon"
January 15, 2026 at 6:37 PM
today in: things i learned from writing Trivia
The full name of Lisbon is officially the "Very Noble and Ever Loyal City of Lisbon"
The full name of Lisbon is officially the "Very Noble and Ever Loyal City of Lisbon"
none of you have wished me a happy hat day, i thought we were friends.
January 15, 2026 at 6:17 PM
none of you have wished me a happy hat day, i thought we were friends.
I am making a direct appeal to Dr. Doom:
January 15, 2026 at 5:32 PM
I am making a direct appeal to Dr. Doom:
inside you there are two wolves. they both read @lindseyadler.bsky.social
January 15, 2026 at 1:47 PM
inside you there are two wolves. they both read @lindseyadler.bsky.social
Reposted by Enjoyer of Hats
"stay calm"
"remain peaceful"
"don't give them what they want"
"go home"
they keep addressing the people protecting themselves, their homes, and their neighbors instead of the people actually doing harm
fight the good fight, minnesota. we are behind you
"remain peaceful"
"don't give them what they want"
"go home"
they keep addressing the people protecting themselves, their homes, and their neighbors instead of the people actually doing harm
fight the good fight, minnesota. we are behind you
January 15, 2026 at 12:18 PM
"stay calm"
"remain peaceful"
"don't give them what they want"
"go home"
they keep addressing the people protecting themselves, their homes, and their neighbors instead of the people actually doing harm
fight the good fight, minnesota. we are behind you
"remain peaceful"
"don't give them what they want"
"go home"
they keep addressing the people protecting themselves, their homes, and their neighbors instead of the people actually doing harm
fight the good fight, minnesota. we are behind you
Anyways considering primary-ing @congressmannion.bsky.social.
The House voted 341 to 79 to fund Trump's war-mongering foreign policy agenda.
Only 57 Democrats voted NO.
clerk.house.gov/evs/2026/rol...
Only 57 Democrats voted NO.
clerk.house.gov/evs/2026/rol...
January 15, 2026 at 3:23 AM
Anyways considering primary-ing @congressmannion.bsky.social.
What if we abolish Chuck Schumer instead
SCOOP: A new memo circulating on Capitol Hill urges Democratic lawmakers to instead embrace reforming the agency. New from @lauren-egan.bsky.social: lnk.thebulwark.com/4bzT7kh
Dems Are Begging Their Own to Drop ‘Abolish ICE’
A new memo circulating on Capitol Hill urges Democratic lawmakers to instead embrace reforming the agency.
lnk.thebulwark.com
January 15, 2026 at 12:54 AM
What if we abolish Chuck Schumer instead
Reposted by Enjoyer of Hats
Fuck that. Abolish ICE.
Abolish DHS while we’re at it.
Throw money and manpower at real immigration reform to process people and acclimate them to society
Abolish DHS while we’re at it.
Throw money and manpower at real immigration reform to process people and acclimate them to society
SCOOP: A new memo circulating on Capitol Hill urges Democratic lawmakers to instead embrace reforming the agency. New from @lauren-egan.bsky.social: lnk.thebulwark.com/4bzT7kh
Dems Are Begging Their Own to Drop ‘Abolish ICE’
A new memo circulating on Capitol Hill urges Democratic lawmakers to instead embrace reforming the agency.
lnk.thebulwark.com
January 15, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Fuck that. Abolish ICE.
Abolish DHS while we’re at it.
Throw money and manpower at real immigration reform to process people and acclimate them to society
Abolish DHS while we’re at it.
Throw money and manpower at real immigration reform to process people and acclimate them to society
who's ready for Mike's Weezer Takes
1) Blue
2) Green
3) Everything Will Be Alright In The End
4) Maladroit
5) Red
6) Pinkerton
7) White
8) Pacific Daydream
9) Black
10) Getting Hit By A Bus
11) Raditude
12) Hurley
I genuinely couldn't tell you anything off of OK Human or Van Weezer.
1) Blue
2) Green
3) Everything Will Be Alright In The End
4) Maladroit
5) Red
6) Pinkerton
7) White
8) Pacific Daydream
9) Black
10) Getting Hit By A Bus
11) Raditude
12) Hurley
I genuinely couldn't tell you anything off of OK Human or Van Weezer.
i really recommend listening to weezer for hours to get your head right
January 14, 2026 at 9:08 PM
who's ready for Mike's Weezer Takes
1) Blue
2) Green
3) Everything Will Be Alright In The End
4) Maladroit
5) Red
6) Pinkerton
7) White
8) Pacific Daydream
9) Black
10) Getting Hit By A Bus
11) Raditude
12) Hurley
I genuinely couldn't tell you anything off of OK Human or Van Weezer.
1) Blue
2) Green
3) Everything Will Be Alright In The End
4) Maladroit
5) Red
6) Pinkerton
7) White
8) Pacific Daydream
9) Black
10) Getting Hit By A Bus
11) Raditude
12) Hurley
I genuinely couldn't tell you anything off of OK Human or Van Weezer.