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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball

@tikkikki.bsky.social

1.3K followers 430 following 25K posts

I've been told I'm all the drama and none of the fun. Often thwarted by autocorrect thinking it knows best and my lack of proofreading. Catchphrase: I don’t know what that is. Bluesky’s OG Iowa Hawkeyes fan. Your Hawkeye Fairy Godmother™️, if you will.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · Dec 18

Sir, I don’t know you. Please do not come up to me to complain about the price of your taco. I have no control over the prices here as my name is neither Taco, nor John. Can’t you see I’m busying myself on my phone while I wait for my food? Leave me be.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 7h

Some people do that kind of thing.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 7h

Yeah, it didn’t last very long but I was standing there during the presentation hoping I didn’t pass out. I’ve not had that before. I wake up with vertigo in the middle of the night sometimes.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 7h

I once ran into a guy who was best friends with one of my uncles when they were in high school in a town of maybe 200 people in the 60s. We were in line at the concession stand Lincoln, Nebraska.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 7h

It’s just what we do.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 7h

There was a bad thing that happened tonight. I got really dizzy and had a hot flash. I thought I was going to fall down, which would have been embarrassing.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 7h

Can’t you just take my word for it? I’m fun.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 8h

Iowans love to joke about how we will meet someone and they will ask us if we know such and such person from Iowa like Jesus, we don’t all know each other. Come on.

But we all have a crazy story of how we really did actually know someone once.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 8h

This is what I’m talking about!

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 8h

That’s one of the reasons.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 8h

Oh yeah, that was a good one!

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 9h

And aren’t they fun‽

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 9h

Oh and I did sit down to eat but I was facing my friend and she shielded everyone from my cooch.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 9h

Y’all! I had such a good time tonight. A woman in her 20s thought I was in my 30s! I got to see a guy I went to orientation at Iowa with who gave me my one and only nickname (Tiki) and met some other Iowa grads. Iowa people are fun and you should hang out with us when you get the chance.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 12h

Too late. Already gone.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 12h

However, this is a standing dress not a sitting dress for if you were to sit anyone across from me will be able to see my hoodleyhoo. I mean, you’ll see my spanx, but still.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 12h

Oooooh. I did take a picture but I didnt like it.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 12h

Friends, I don’t say this often but I kinda look cute tonight.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 17h

But they write the stories they sing.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 19h

Are you saying singer songwriters aren’t storytellers? The fuck is wrong with you, woman?

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 20h

RIP. I remember reading Steve **ford’s Hair Gel during realignment. I didn’t start posting on BHGP until like 2010. I think my first comment was FUCK during a football game.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 20h

And they are so incredibly expensive to work with. We are talking twice the cost of other sites on some instances. I also hate how they do their billing. They send everything at the end. It’s annoying af.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 21h

Not that this helps your situation in any way but they SUCK to deal with on the clinical trial side too. Every sponsor wants them and they are a massive pain in the ass.

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🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 21h

Riverboat Shuffle still bangs.

🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball @tikkikki.bsky.social · 21h

I’m not sure why but I have a hankerin’ to listen to some Bix Beiderbecke this morning.

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Reposted by 🐖🪩 I’m not a pumpkin, I’m a hamball

✨🌯 jamie @glitterburrito.bsky.social · 22h

South Carolina I’m gonna need y’all to make some noise on this one.
Not just with your reps- with the entire roster of reps, local progressive orgs, your own circles, everyone.

There are plenty of orgs to reach out to, find one and get in touch *today*.

Qasim Rashid, Esq. @qasimrashid.com · 2d

3 MAGA extremists have introduced a bill in South Carolina that would allow the state to execute women who get an abortion.

South Carolina govt lists their cell phone numbers, in case you want to call them directly & let them know what you think.

Details here:
www.qasimrashid.com/p/s-carolina...

S. Carolina RE-Intros Bill To Kill Women For Getting An Abortion

Here's what's in the bill, why it is so dangerous, and the meaningful steps you can take to fight back, support women's health, and help block this bill from becoming law

www.qasimrashid.com

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