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Travis Klempan

@travisklempan.bsky.social

220 followers 82 following 2.4K posts

Author of HAVE SNAKES, NEED BIRDS (Koehler Books) and HILLS HIDE MOUNTAINS (MilSpeak Books)

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · Jan 21

Here’s a list of my writing and associated work…enjoy!

My second novel HILLS HIDE MOUNTAINS

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 5h

They should definitely tell him he won. Then, we he comes to Oslo to pick up his prize, arrest him.

Bing bang boom.

James Medlock @jdcmedlock.bsky.social · 8h

“I’ll declare war on you if you don’t give me the peace prize” is an incredible bit

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 6h

(That’s what I’d ask them)

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 6h

Why did your dad stop hugging you?
When was the last time your mom said she was proud of you?
What do your kids tell their friends that you do for work?

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 7h

A pundit is a jack of no trades and a master of baiting.

Chris Cillizza, despite being unqualified for any real job, embodies the Platonic ideal of a pundit.

Chris Cillizza @chriscillizza.bsky.social · 12h

What if...Donald Trump actually deserves the Nobel Peace Prize?

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 7h

My dog was more made for this moment and she can’t stop licking her own butthole.

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 7h

I feel a little miffed. Most Cillizza posts have one or two comments talking about how much of a schmuck you are, and I’m the source of at least one of those comments.

Now, you’ve got 100s of people rightfully jumping up and down on you. But where were they when you said all the other dumb stuff?

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 7h

What’s the weather like on Earth-2?

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 8h

I’ve received one measly jury summons in my life and it was while I was deployed overseas. Do not turn down the opportunity to serve on a jury.

Anna O. Law @unlawfulentries.bsky.social · 20h

I teach in my undergrad class on the history of the US jury system that the institution's roots are in colonial juries serving as a counterweight to abuses of imperial power. The American jury has problems for sure but still can serve that roll. Don't blow off jury service.

Josh Marshall @joshtpm.bsky.social · 1d

Jury Refuses To Indict Chicago ICE Protesters In Latest Revolt Against Trump Overreach talkingpointsmemo.com/where-things...

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 8h

Surely there’s a primer about how to apply primer

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 9h

Would any career officer risk their pension or their reputation (or invite the MAGA harassment) if they refused to follow that order?

It’s kind of small potatoes, but also kind of not small at all.

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 9h

What’s to stop him from ordering the superintendents of the academies not to accept any candidate nominated by a Democratic representative or senator?

The issue could get tied up in court, sure, but there’s a timeline to these things.

Who would stop him? Would an admiral or general say “no”?

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 9h

In a few weeks I’ll sit on my local congressperson’s service academy interview panel, making recommendations about nominations to four of the academies. (CGA doesn’t require a nomination.) It might be my last time.

But I wonder what would stop Trump (Miller) from just…ignoring nominations.

Reposted by Travis Klempan

Juno Rylee Schultz @junoryleejournalism.com · 1d

David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)

SHAPIRO: OK, so you've spent your career creating television without Al, and I could imagine today you thinking, boy, I wish I had had that tool to solve those thorny problems...
SIMON: What?
SHAPIRO: ...Or saying...
SIMON: You imagine that?
SHAPIRO: ...Boy, if that had existed, it would have screwed me over.
SIMON: I don't think Al can remotely challenge what writers do at a fundamentally creative level.
SHAPIRO: But if you're trying to transition from scene five to scene six, and you're stuck with that transition, you could imagine plugging that portion of the script into an Al and say, give me 10 ideas for how to transition this.
SIMON: I'd rather put a gun in my mouth.

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 12h

These goobers continue to have online submission forms that require no verification

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 13h

People think of Ridley Scott as a sci fi guy (and his record there is impressive) but he has just as many weirdly religious movies under his belt, and even his sci fi has religious under- and overtones.

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 14h

Maybe your terminally online mind is so addled you only understand memes, so here you go:

a man in a suit and tie is holding a microphone and the words mediocre at best are above him

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is holding a microphone and the words mediocre at best are above him

media.tenor.com

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 15h

“Tall - no, short.”

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 15h

Really looking forward to all the dipshits insisting that Monday’s holiday honors a man worth honoring when in fact Columbus was among the chief dipshits of his era, which was filled with plenty of dipshits.

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 15h

“Habeas Porkus has been treated poorly, very poorly, like a dog, they treat him very unfairly. We’ve been taking a close look at it, at all of it, really. You know, we were the first ones to even hear about Hamish Corky. No one was talking about him before we did, really before I did.”

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 15h

Right where the pissmonger can pee on it.

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 15h

Dude, Mike Johnson is standing right there

Reposted by Travis Klempan

Middle West Press @middlewestpress.bsky.social · 16h

“A collection that haunts, challenges, and frames anew a region that should perhaps be renamed ‘the dark heartland of America!’”
— @travisklempan.bsky.social, author of the supernaturally tinged post-GWOT novels "Have Snakes, Need Birds"and "Hills Hide Mountains"

More info: amzn.to/47buzvn

IMAGE: Book cover of "Cryptids, Kaiju & Corn" anthology features a giant, shambling creature towering over a lone humanoid figure walking through a flowery forest

TEXT: "New Poetry & Flash!" ... “A collection that haunts, challenges, and frames anew a region that should perhaps be renamed ‘the dark heartland of America!’”
—Travis Klempan, author of the supernaturally tinged post-GWOT novels "Have Snakes, Need Birds"and "Hills Hide Mountains"

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 17h

Game of Thrones

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Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 17h

“Okay, colonels, in this revolutionary new war game scenario, we’re gonna role play as The Gambia.”
“Uh, sir, isn’t this about Taiwan-China?”
“It is. But we need to put ourselves in the shoes of the Gambians. (To aide) They wear shoes in The Gambia, right?”
“Yes, General.”

Travis Klempan @travisklempan.bsky.social · 1d

“Let this be a lesson to ya, ya meatball.”