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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

@undercoveremi.bsky.social

2.1K followers 530 following 7.7K posts

Freelance writer, Full-time fan trash, good cook. Temporarily posting a lot about cancer treatment and recovery, but only temporarily. She/her

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · Oct 18

I’m picking up some new friends from the latest Twitter exodus, so I should reintroduce myself.

I’m Emi! I live in Houston, TX. I write sometimes but mostly I cook, swear, and hang out with my awesome husband and my two ridiculous cats. I also talk about movies and tv a lot. Y’all means all.

This is Asha. The cutest tiny calico cat laying on a dusty (sorry!) wood floor staring at the camera with big wide amber eyes. She is a princess and the ruler of the household. Her hobbies including bullying her brother, taking baths, drowning toy mice in her water bowl, and napping atop her 6 ft cat tower

A bowl of Texas chili with no beans topped with shredded cheese and a corner slice of cornbread

A bowl of minestrone soup topped with grated Parmesan cheese and two slices of French bread

Sterling Mallory Archer the enormous tuxedo goof. He is stretched out on a kitchen counter with a goofy face because he has one brain cell. He’s the sweetest guy and he loves big hugs. He requires at least 30 minutes of dedicated attention in two sessions every single day

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Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

rexvrex @rexvrex.bsky.social · 1h

Out and about

A No Kings poster plastered to the wall of an abandoned building in Midtown HTX

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 23m

That’s me in the coral tank lol! Yum!!
(Is this what the kids call a soft launch, except I’ve been married to him for 15 years?)

rexvrex @rexvrex.bsky.social · 25m

Back on my bullshit once again

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 47m

Yiiisssssss

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1h

I was going to be good and stay home all day but then I thought about enchiladas and now I can’t think about anything else until I have enchiladas

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 3h

So much of modern conservatism is just “women don’t look like I want them to look so they should go to jail.”

Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 22h

Kid Rock: Do you know what is stupid… these chicks running around on campuses with blue hair, five nose rings.

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 19h

It’s the texture for me. Too rare and the middle is kinda gummy, which I can’t deal with. My ideal steak is rare as possible while maintaining a semi-firm texture throughout.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

I’m worried for my girl Jasmine now. Usually bakers that kill mid season run out of steam by the finals. I believe in her though! Go Jasmine!!

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

I don’t know how they keep it together for the structure challenges. I audibly gasped at least ten times before the judging!

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

I also don’t get the boiled egg pork pie. Seems nasty to me but hey, it’s Bake Off. The cats are very invested in the meat pies though. I think they want one!

Two cats, flanking my legs, on the duvet watching Bake Off on the tv against the wall. That media console is old and a place holder! I know it’s ugly and I’m working on it lol

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

“I didn’t do a steam hole. It’ll be fine.” FAMOUS LAST WORDS! You are about to get smoked sir!

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

I don’t have many opinions on the signature. I don’t really get meat pies. It’s a me problem. The other people are right. I just… nope. Can’t do it. Gross.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

2.5 is preferred, but I’ll eat 2-4.

Strictly 4 My Navigators @lizzslockeroom.bsky.social · 1d

3 or 4 for me.

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

Jasmine is my ride or die this season. Shes so good! And gorgeous! She always picks flavors I really love. I feel like we could hang

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 20h

Ian is a good baker, but his hair choices are just upsetting. I think I have to look at him until at least the quarter final, and I’m going to try real hard not to be such a bitch. It’s just you can have a weird mustache or a mullet. You cannot have both!

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 21h

Btw gonna post about in this thread, so if you haven’t seen this week’s Bake-Off, mute this thread!

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 21h

Starting Bake-Off late — Korean BBQ again tonight, because it always improves my bloodwork. Now it’s motherfucking Pastry Week! Let’s fucking go!!

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 21h

Yes! Per person! I don’t want to hide all reposts, I just want to hide the reposts of people who constantly repost themselves.

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

30 years? I was obsessed with that album…

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

I was too. Institutions here keep rolling over without a fight. Nice to know the international bodies still have balls

Reposted by Emi the Sweary Cook🌵

The Onion @theonion.com · 2d

Woman Tends To Do Best Creative Thinking When Backed Into Corner With Livelihood At Stake https://theonion.com/woman-tends-to-do-best-creative-thinking-when-backed-in-1851338274/

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

It’s not a snub if it’s a ridiculous nomination. If he got snubbed for the Peace Prize, I’ve been snubbed for an Oscar despite never having anything to do with making a film

Bloomberg News @bloomberg.com · 1d

The Nobel Peace Prize is going to Venezuela’s Maria Corina Machado. The question for Norway is how will Trump react?

Norway Braces for Trump Reaction to Nobel Peace Prize Snub

Venezuela’s Maria Corina Machado is this year’s recipient

bloom.bg

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

He only wants it cause Obama got one. It’s so fucking pathetic.

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Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

It’s the worst! I’ll be climbing the walls at that point. It’s my first scans after finishing chemo the week before so all the “now what?” anxiety is mixing in with the scanxiety.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

That’s the plan. Last chemo is next week and I’ll be too sick to worry for a few days. Then it’s short recovery and dive into hobbies! I’m going to take up baking to get my arm strength back.

Emi the Sweary Cook🌵 @undercoveremi.bsky.social · 1d

In quantities previously reserved for touring jam bands and 19 year old philosophy majors!