Zonker
@zonker.bsky.social
If you can't join 'em, beat 'em
Posts are 70% sarcasm.
verified account @barstool.com
[email protected] (not BS sports).
Spending a lot less time on X (@barstoolz)
Posts are 70% sarcasm.
verified account @barstool.com
[email protected] (not BS sports).
Spending a lot less time on X (@barstoolz)
Pinned
Zonker
@zonker.bsky.social
· Nov 12
That actually put me in the first 2.25% but who's counting?
Can't wait to be one of the first 1%
Can't wait to be one of the first 1%
December 19, 2025 at 12:42 AM
If I was to go viral Portnoy would cry.
You have to control the domain to use it as your bsky handle
You have to control the domain to use it as your bsky handle
December 18, 2025 at 11:18 PM
If I was to go viral Portnoy would cry.
You have to control the domain to use it as your bsky handle
You have to control the domain to use it as your bsky handle
December 18, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Reposted by Zonker
When you call a helpline and have to tell a clanker to transfer you to a human
December 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
When you call a helpline and have to tell a clanker to transfer you to a human
Reposted by Zonker
Officers in a high crime area spot a driver known to be on supervised release for a drug offense. They watch him meet up with another man known to officers from another drug case. The suspects talk at the car for 2 min.
4th Circuit: There's no reasonable suspicion here.
4th Circuit: There's no reasonable suspicion here.
December 17, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Officers in a high crime area spot a driver known to be on supervised release for a drug offense. They watch him meet up with another man known to officers from another drug case. The suspects talk at the car for 2 min.
4th Circuit: There's no reasonable suspicion here.
4th Circuit: There's no reasonable suspicion here.
He'd be disappointed to learn that even hundreds of years from now, spaceships have to drop their cloaking device to fire disrupters or their shields to fire phasers
Trump: "The only time anybody could see those planes was when those bomb chutes open up, because it becomes totally un-stealth. You're going in, you go like this. As soon as it goes like this, for some reason the plane is totally visible. Not good. I watched it happening. I watched it go bing bing"
December 17, 2025 at 9:01 AM
He'd be disappointed to learn that even hundreds of years from now, spaceships have to drop their cloaking device to fire disrupters or their shields to fire phasers
Reposted by Zonker
"President Trump Hosts Hanukkah Reception
Trump: "The only time anybody could see those planes was when those bomb chutes open up, because it becomes totally un-stealth. You're going in, you go like this. As soon as it goes like this, for some reason the plane is totally visible. Not good. I watched it happening. I watched it go bing bing"
December 17, 2025 at 3:09 AM
"President Trump Hosts Hanukkah Reception
Focus - Hocus Pocus Live '73
YouTube video by Elvis Amadeus Jackson
www.youtube.com
December 16, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Reposted by Zonker
NEW: U.S. Military Willing to Attack “Designated Terrorist Organizations” Within America, General Says
“That is one of the concerns with the administration asserting that the President essentially has a license to kill outside the law,” says expert.
theintercept.com/2025/12/16/t...
“That is one of the concerns with the administration asserting that the President essentially has a license to kill outside the law,” says expert.
theintercept.com/2025/12/16/t...
U.S. Military Willing to Attack “Designated Terrorist Organizations” Within America, General Says
“If I had no concerns and I was confident in the lawful order, I would definitely execute that order.”
theintercept.com
December 16, 2025 at 1:58 PM
NEW: U.S. Military Willing to Attack “Designated Terrorist Organizations” Within America, General Says
“That is one of the concerns with the administration asserting that the President essentially has a license to kill outside the law,” says expert.
theintercept.com/2025/12/16/t...
“That is one of the concerns with the administration asserting that the President essentially has a license to kill outside the law,” says expert.
theintercept.com/2025/12/16/t...
Reposted by Zonker
LOL... Pentagon released a new AI military chatbot and it immediately pointed out that Pete Hegseth is a war criminal.
abovethelaw.com/2025/12/pent...
abovethelaw.com/2025/12/pent...
Pentagon Unveils New GenAI Platform, It Immediately Starts Flagging Pete Hegseth's War Crimes - Above the Law
The Defense Department's new ChatJAG turned out to be better than the human chain of command.
abovethelaw.com
December 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
LOL... Pentagon released a new AI military chatbot and it immediately pointed out that Pete Hegseth is a war criminal.
abovethelaw.com/2025/12/pent...
abovethelaw.com/2025/12/pent...
Reposted by Zonker
Reposted by Zonker
Deranged.
December 15, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Deranged.
Reposted by Zonker
FORBES: “The Gun Murder Rate In Australia—Where 15 Were Slain At Bondi Beach—Is 6,000% Lower Than In U.S…”
www.forbes.com/sites/zachar...
www.forbes.com/sites/zachar...
December 15, 2025 at 4:47 AM
FORBES: “The Gun Murder Rate In Australia—Where 15 Were Slain At Bondi Beach—Is 6,000% Lower Than In U.S…”
www.forbes.com/sites/zachar...
www.forbes.com/sites/zachar...
Reposted by Zonker
Omg
A JetBlue flight from the small Caribbean nation of Curaçao halted its ascent to avoid colliding with a US Air Force refueling tanker on Friday, and the pilot blamed the military plane for crossing his path.
JetBlue plane near Venezuela avoids ‘midair collision’ with US Air Force aircraft | CNN Politics
A JetBlue flight from the small Caribbean nation of Curaçao halted its ascent to avoid colliding with a US Air Force refueling tanker on Friday, and the pilot blamed the military plane for crossing hi...
www.cnn.com
December 15, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Omg
Reposted by Zonker
The press conference on Rob and Michele Reiner was really bizarre. They probably should have waited until morning.
December 15, 2025 at 5:08 AM
The press conference on Rob and Michele Reiner was really bizarre. They probably should have waited until morning.
Reposted by Zonker
The person of interest in Brown University shooting is being released by police
THE GUNMAN IS STILL AT LARGE
THE GUNMAN IS STILL AT LARGE
December 15, 2025 at 5:19 AM
The person of interest in Brown University shooting is being released by police
THE GUNMAN IS STILL AT LARGE
THE GUNMAN IS STILL AT LARGE
Reposted by Zonker
Of the thousands of headlines I could imagine throughout life, this is one that could never have crossed my thoughts. But here we are.
apnews.com/article/denm...
apnews.com/article/denm...
Danish intelligence report warns of US military threat under Trump
A Danish intelligence agency report has warned that the United States is using its economic power to assert its will and threaten military force against both allies and adversaries.
apnews.com
December 15, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Of the thousands of headlines I could imagine throughout life, this is one that could never have crossed my thoughts. But here we are.
apnews.com/article/denm...
apnews.com/article/denm...
Reposted by Zonker
A beautiful eulogy of Rob Reiner by @sepinwall.bsky.social
Wrote about how the late, great Rob Reiner had the most impossible 7-movie beginning to any director's career, and yet that's not even what he was most famous for:
December 15, 2025 at 5:45 AM
A beautiful eulogy of Rob Reiner by @sepinwall.bsky.social
Reposted by Zonker
If a young comedic genius on the order of Rob Reiner were trying to break into film and TV today, the Ellisons, Zaslovs et al. would never let him in the door
December 15, 2025 at 6:50 AM
If a young comedic genius on the order of Rob Reiner were trying to break into film and TV today, the Ellisons, Zaslovs et al. would never let him in the door
Reposted by Zonker
Sheldon Whitehouse does not get nearly enough shit for being one of the biggest morons in Congress.
Sen. WHITEHOUSE: We finally are moving to file a bipartisan Section 230 repeal bill. Waiting any longer serves no useful purpose.
December 12, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Sheldon Whitehouse does not get nearly enough shit for being one of the biggest morons in Congress.
Reposted by Zonker
It's good to check in on East Ramapo schools once in awhile, and it appears the state just did
www.lohud.com/story/news/l...
www.lohud.com/story/news/l...
State orders East Ramapo: Hike tax levy by 4.38% and use money on public school kids
Education Commissioner Betty Rosa says budget "inequitably favors nonpublic school students at the expense of public school students.”
www.lohud.com
August 2, 2024 at 4:43 PM
It's good to check in on East Ramapo schools once in awhile, and it appears the state just did
www.lohud.com/story/news/l...
www.lohud.com/story/news/l...
Reposted by Zonker
Reposted by Zonker
Reposted by Zonker
I’ve been considering this for a while, but I am exploring launching a podcast. Would love your feedback on which ones YOU listen to and why.
What would you like to hear me explore? My background is in sports, investigative journalism, acting, politics, art & I wrote a memoir on bravery.
Thoughts?
What would you like to hear me explore? My background is in sports, investigative journalism, acting, politics, art & I wrote a memoir on bravery.
Thoughts?
December 13, 2025 at 5:43 PM
I’ve been considering this for a while, but I am exploring launching a podcast. Would love your feedback on which ones YOU listen to and why.
What would you like to hear me explore? My background is in sports, investigative journalism, acting, politics, art & I wrote a memoir on bravery.
Thoughts?
What would you like to hear me explore? My background is in sports, investigative journalism, acting, politics, art & I wrote a memoir on bravery.
Thoughts?
Reposted by Zonker
i’m sure it’s just a coincidence that donald trump also personally knew ghislaine maxwells dad, robert maxwell, too
December 13, 2025 at 11:25 PM
i’m sure it’s just a coincidence that donald trump also personally knew ghislaine maxwells dad, robert maxwell, too